What A Mess

"they'll be appointing you to take over as HQ Mess Sec" (see what no scalies) what Mess. So the rumour goes, the Blandford messes are being handed over with the school to the purple-whoever with the Corps having squatter’s rights at best. Why can’t the whoever attending courses in Blandford stay in the Royal Signals messes, maybe disguised as garrison facilities, with a late-of being the garrison saheb …  Anyway what I heard is probably a load of arrse, anyone up for a curry in Humphs  :(
Well might be a benefit if they stump up for the museum. The gen is that alternatives are on the cards even private purchase. Suppose they will choose Wernside!
I have no idea why there is a drive to make everything 'Purple'. I've been to RAF Cosford and it beats Blandford hands down as a school of IT excellence.

It also has great messes, a mega gym and the chicks are very nice.
Nought wrong with combining in its place. I've always fancied serving with the Battle of Britain Flight or maybe the Red Arrows. But somehow having the crabs presiding over the Corps Regimental Messes is a size 13 too far. We will need to trust the late-ofs to ensure that our heritage doesn’t follow the blue woolly pully down the old proverbial but they have the most to lose anyway. On the other hand giving up the family home to remain a tenant in it is very modern and New Labour. Can we combine chic and steal it from the naval wallahs.
Indeed and we saved the Woolwich mess even after the Secretary of State had announced in the House his intention to dispose of it.
If going purple means that all mess members being equal and having the same rights in their mess, even when visiting on course...Then great. Us low life Corps Mess members visting on courses ect..we haven't been made to feel welcome in our own Corps mess have we!....need I say more! ;D
Couldn't agree more, uni_user.  Those on 12 month courses have to live in the shite that they call a mess whilst those on 6 month 'postings' or those bean stealing pads who are only there for 3-4 nights a week get to live in the new block.  We all pay the same subs - don't we?!  This leads me on to my next whinge - The mess is meant to be our Corps mess (for which we pay our annual Corps subs), but why is it that when you phone to book a room you get the third degree about whether you will be on duty or not and if not you have to pay B & B rates?  And why is it that it has the highest daily rate of any mess in the country even when you are on duty? Mess Incedental Allowance doesn't get near to covering the cost.  Whinge over - for now...
NICE ONE MODERATORS!!  S H I T  gets translated to nuts so my caloquial "s h i t e" turns into 'nutse'.  I wondered why I had seen it on other posts.


I was wondering about that and I'm the one who's supposed to be controlling that sort of thing.  I think we might just have to change that to allow s h i t e on the boards - wild and crazy or what?
Techno Geek. The only way ahead is to stop whinging and take a leaf out of Lt Col Klaus von Staffenberg's book.

What von Staffenberg tried for the greater good of the Riech, you should, in some small way, try for the good of the Corps.

Boss Hog must be next!

Of course if you fail, you shall be punished with a worse fate than an interview at Prinz Alberchstrasse. Instead you will have to repeat your course......TWICE.
NO! Not that! Not the repeating of the course! Couldn't you just cut my heart out - it would be a lot less painful!

Consider the job done....
Centre of Excellence...more like Periphary of Mediocrity

Perhaps its down to all those of the Corps (of all ranks and led from the Top) that have made a career out of staying in 'the Quaint Georgian Town' whilst everyone else picks up their ops tours and Ex's

An instructor can only be as good as his/her last 2 years in the rest of the Army. So how can SO3/SO2/SO1 Bits and Pieces in 1 dept in Blandford be allowed to take up another job in Blandford at the end of that tour. This applies to all depts and ranks.

If you hadn't guessed it - all of things that I worried about when I was looking at the 'Centre of Excellence' from the rest of the Corps are even more worrying when you're on the inside. Oh well, 4 months to go and a very good number after that...

Final thought - can it be such a great place of the highest standards if 1 crop circle field romping/marriage wrecking/pressurised/Sun reported Lt is here awaiting sentence ??

Apart from all of that...hello to one and all at the end of my 1st post.

GI interesting comments.  I have sadly been in Blandford coming up to three years.  From my experience the fact that people want to move from one post to another within Blandford suits me..it means they are:

a.  Taking up a post that quite frankly I don't want.
b.  Not taking up a post where there is a chance of me getting another couple of medals.
c.  Having to put up with what can only be described as "Rip Off Blandford" probably the worst Garrison town in the country.
d.  Put up with the worst night life in the country..have you tasted the beer and paid the prices in the "Spot" or in "Tiffs"?? Best to get p**sed before leaving camp so that you don't remember going into town!!
e.  Put up with an Officers Mess that loses its best staff at every opportunity, has a roof that leaks (including the new ones) and is run for the benefit of those that run it not for those that live in it.
f.  Put up with a Sergeants Mess that is too small, does not have enough accommodation and again is run for the benefit of those that run it.
g.  Put up with the fact that you have to drive 2 hours to get to a motorway that takes you anywhere.

On the plus side it does have Humphs.

I am not going to undermine any instructors, cadre or staff officers that work in Blandford.  The simple fact of life is like it or not we require Officers and Soldiers to work in Blandford, if they like it fair dinkum..its their lifestyle choice..if you're so bitter about it because you want to be there with them..I can understand your feelings...if your winge is that they should be out somewhere assisting "the greater needs of the Army on Operational Tours and exercises" well soldiers and staff from Blandford regularly do deploy on Ops and exercises in Support of the wider Army (I have), instructors also spend a lot of time on training exercises too, which you should appreciate is about as dull as ditch water for them no matter how exciting they try to make it.  Training and policy making is not the most glamourous of jobs but someone has to do it.  Let those that want to do it get on with it.  Else you will get pressed men doing it and believe me the mediocrity that you suggest is already happening will get worse.  By the way on a final note ..and to assist GI in his comments (trying to give some balance to my argument)  for the pressed men that are sent to Blandford ...new blood is essential to the whole training and policy making cycle.  Give it your best shot ... if you don't, do not expect the product to be any better than it was before you arrived or after you have left... A posting to Blandford can be an opportunity to make better the mistakes of others .. if you don't do it better, the results will always be the same....

OK ranted for long enough.... hope that bit of writing makes some sense.
Hello chaps and chapesses. This is the Excellent Centre speaking. May I squash immediately any rumours of The Enforcer being ticked off by the CO for not deleting enough entries and therefore he is trying to spice things up to improve his hit rate. Rather he his working for me collecting that information I require to do my job. This, with the information I collect from the boys after 16 breezers in the Spot, provide my most valuable source of advice and what excellent advice it is. First to the messes. We must embrace change, our Tone says so, and if the RAF run them, well they have not done a bad job elsewhere and will bring with them stewards and things. If it is the navy then we don’t have to worry about standing up for the toasts and can therefore drink loads a free beer through dinner. Why shouldn’t the Corps be looked after by someone else? Why do we need a home? But if want to remain in charge we could move the messes and I know just the place in France within walking distance of…. but enough of that. If the Navy comes then I will ask them for Ocean to put on the roundabout, time for another change there don’t you think. Something for the Executive Committee to get its teeth into. Now to IS. Let us be quite clear this an emerging technology and of great importance to the commander perhaps displacing the gunners, leading to IS time with commander IS being the right hand man. This is no job for the Corps and IS is already proving too much of a distraction. No, we must leave that to others and concentrate on radio it has served us well for an awfully long time. Should DCSA take that from us we can challenge the AGC for the clerks, pushing paper is after all a system for communication.  Let me finish here but those in the Sergeants’ Mess may wish to raise any of these issues with me while I share their new barrel. The rest of you tickle your keyboards but only after a pint of two eh, I only want comments from the CANned.


War Hero
Brigadier, my dear chap,

I think that you should start looking for other responsibilities to assume!!

It looks like the great BORG that is the DCSA is going to take over not just the Radios, but the AGC too!!

I take all of your comments on the chin and you speak much sense. I still maintain that new blood, etc , must be brought in for a training establishment to maintain its output of quality product.

Blandford is unusual in that it does have a lot of additional lodger units but the point I was trying to make is that the 'excellence' chant...well..is just that and nothing else. There is nothing of substance to back up the claim to be a 'c of e'. Examples ? There are many. Last week for eg, invite a bunch of French Tp comds over from ESAT....and then tell everyone 'by the way there's no budget for this so sort it out yourselves and take them all down the Langton etc' If you're serious about it then act like it !! Budgets , a totally different argument I know, but that it very indicative of the way things are done in Blandford.

Bow_Man, by way of final comment, I have tried to maintain a professional view when teaching all ranks and this sort of rant remains firmly behind office doors. It is not always that easy to do when you are working for a system that doesn't back you up and doesn't provide support where necessary.

Over to you. ;)

PS I think SOinCs next job will be Chief Groundsman of his garden
Well no actually. My Chief Groundsman won't let me. He said something about this being a garden not a Corps. Its full of carefully nurtured, living, beautiful things and the like.
Brigadier, my dear chap,

I think that you should start looking for other responsibilities to assume!!

It looks like the great BORG that is the DCSA is going to take over not just the Radios, but the AGC too!!
But chaps this is the cunning part of the plan. The Borg is leaving the fourth quarter and Saruman is in the ascendancy. He has far greater things on his mind than the AGC. However, all of this is beyond my time. For me what is left to be done is to get CAN in the can before someone can can CAN. Then we shall see. For you, a new task, well I can leave that to my successor who I believe wants to employ the Corps within the Stranrar Ladies Pipe Band.

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