What a girl wants for Christmas! TOP FIVE

#1
1. A man who you don't have to fake it with.
2. A man who makes you come, AFTER he has come.
3. A man with a GOOD sense of humour.
4. A man who hasn't got a wife/ girlfriend/ shagger, he just happens not to remember.
5. A man who doesn't lie.

Who says I'm bitter!!!
 
#4
Aqua-Calda said:
Command_doh said:
You meant to say

'A good spit roasting'

Surely.
May I refer you to point number 3.
You're not real are you? I've been looking at your previous posts. Have you thought of logging into Rear Party and giving them the delights of your vast experience. Just a thought - no malice intended.
 
#5
Aqua-Calda said:
1. A man who you don't have to fake it with.
2. A man who makes you come, AFTER he has come.
3. A man with a GOOD sense of humour.
4. A man who hasn't got a wife/ girlfriend/ shagger, he just happens not to remember.
5. A man who doesn't lie.

Who says I'm bitter!!!
Are you by any chance:
1. A woman who you don't have to fake it with.
2. A woman who makes you come, AFTER she has come.
3. A woman with anything approaching a sense of humour.
4. A woman who hasn't got a husband/ boyfriend/ shagger, she just happens not to remember.
5. A woman who doesn't lie - especially about the true status of her "irretrievably broken" marriage / engagement / shagging arrangements
??

If so - pics welcome by PM!

I drink bitter but I'm not. :D
 
#7
Aqua-Calda said:
1. A man who you don't have to fake it with.
2. A man who makes you come, AFTER he has come.
3. A man with a GOOD sense of humour.
4. A man who hasn't got a wife/ girlfriend/ shagger, he just happens not to remember.
5. A man who doesn't lie.

Who says I'm bitter!!!
What a bloke wants.

1. A female species with a hole.
2. That hole should not have the ability to speak
3. Arms and legs are a nicety but not a necessity.
4. No family is preferable as no one will be looking for the body.
 
#8
The_Snail said:
Aqua-Calda said:
Command_doh said:
You meant to say

'A good spit roasting'

Surely.
May I refer you to point number 3.
You're not real are you? I've been looking at your previous posts. Have you thought of logging into Rear Party and giving them the delights of your vast experience. Just a thought - no malice intended.
How can I not be real??? Touch me!

OOOH, not there!!!
 
#10
Aqua-Calda said:
1. A man who you don't have to fake it with.
a woman who realises that all things in life are usually best achieved by give and take.
2. A man who makes you come, AFTER he has come.
a woman who is still stimulating after you have shot your load.
3. A man with a GOOD sense of humour.
a woman with ANY sense of humour.
4. A man who hasn't got a wife/ girlfriend/ shagger, he just happens not to remember.
a woman who doesn't seduce you to get 'back' at her husband/boyfriend/sugar daddy.
5. A man who doesn't lie.
a woman who accepts a man for what he is.


Who says I'm bitter!!!
I do!!!
 
#11
The-Lord-Flasheart said:
Aqua-Calda said:
How can I not be real??? Touch me!

OOOH, not there!!!
With a claw hammer?
It's always the claw hammer with you isn't it? No romance, no foreplay, no gentle caress, no furtive frotting - just straight in with the claw hammer. Don't you ever think that a bit of variety might be worth trying? ;)
 
#12
Markintime said:
Aqua-Calda said:
1. A man who you don't have to fake it with.
a woman who realises that all things in life are usually best achieved by give and take.
2. A man who makes you come, AFTER he has come.
a woman who is still stimulating after you have shot your load.
3. A man with a GOOD sense of humour.
a woman with ANY sense of humour.
4. A man who hasn't got a wife/ girlfriend/ shagger, he just happens not to remember.
a woman who doesn't seduce you to get 'back' at her husband/boyfriend/sugar daddy.
5. A man who doesn't lie.
a woman who accepts a man for what he is.


Who says I'm bitter!!!
I do!!!
I hereby pronounce you husband and wife. The End. :wink:
 
#13
The_Snail said:
Markintime said:
Aqua-Calda said:
1. A man who you don't have to fake it with.
a woman who realises that all things in life are usually best achieved by give and take.
2. A man who makes you come, AFTER he has come.
a woman who is still stimulating after you have shot your load.
3. A man with a GOOD sense of humour.
a woman with ANY sense of humour.
4. A man who hasn't got a wife/ girlfriend/ shagger, he just happens not to remember.
a woman who doesn't seduce you to get 'back' at her husband/boyfriend/sugar daddy.
5. A man who doesn't lie.
a woman who accepts a man for what he is.


Who says I'm bitter!!!
I do!!!
I hereby pronounce you husband and wife. The End. :wink:
Faaaaarrrrrrrrrpppppppppppppp
 
#14
EX_STAB said:
The-Lord-Flasheart said:
Aqua-Calda said:
How can I not be real??? Touch me!

OOOH, not there!!!
With a claw hammer?
It's always the claw hammer with you isn't it? No romance, no foreplay, no gentle caress, no furtive frotting - just straight in with the claw hammer. Don't you ever think that a bit of variety might be worth trying? ;)
You're wrong.

Foreplay is trying to stuff them in the boot of a MkII Granada. What more do they fucking want?
 
#15
The-Lord-Flasheart said:
EX_STAB said:
The-Lord-Flasheart said:
Aqua-Calda said:
How can I not be real??? Touch me!

OOOH, not there!!!
With a claw hammer?
It's always the claw hammer with you isn't it? No romance, no foreplay, no gentle caress, no furtive frotting - just straight in with the claw hammer. Don't you ever think that a bit of variety might be worth trying? ;)
You're wrong.

Foreplay is trying to stuff them in the boot of a MkII Granada. What more do they fucking want?
A Zodiac?
 
#16
The-Lord-Flasheart said:
EX_STAB said:
The-Lord-Flasheart said:
Aqua-Calda said:
How can I not be real??? Touch me!

OOOH, not there!!!
With a claw hammer?
It's always the claw hammer with you isn't it? No romance, no foreplay, no gentle caress, no furtive frotting - just straight in with the claw hammer. Don't you ever think that a bit of variety might be worth trying? ;)
You're wrong.

Foreplay is trying to stuff them in the boot of a MkII Granada. What more do they fucking want?
A MkII Granada? Hope you stick with the skinny ones, a big bird would crash straight through the rusting floorpan ¬
 
#18
Markintime said:
The_Snail said:
Markintime said:
Aqua-Calda said:
1. A man who you don't have to fake it with.
a woman who realises that all things in life are usually best achieved by give and take.
2. A man who makes you come, AFTER he has come.
a woman who is still stimulating after you have shot your load.
3. A man with a GOOD sense of humour.
a woman with ANY sense of humour.
4. A man who hasn't got a wife/ girlfriend/ shagger, he just happens not to remember.
a woman who doesn't seduce you to get 'back' at her husband/boyfriend/sugar daddy.
5. A man who doesn't lie.
a woman who accepts a man for what he is.


Who says I'm bitter!!!
I do!!!
I hereby pronounce you husband and wife. The End. :wink:
Faaaaarrrrrrrrrpppppppppppppp
I'll have you know, you would be lucky to have me as your wife!!!!
 
#20
Aqua-Calda said:
I'll have you know, you would be lucky to have me as your wife!!!!

Thank fuck for that. If you are anything like your posts, you'd be under the patio with your cunt and tits hacked out within an hour.
 
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