What a girl wants for Christmas! TOP FIVE

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Aqua-Calda, Dec 11, 2008.

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  1. 1. A man who you don't have to fake it with.
    2. A man who makes you come, AFTER he has come.
    3. A man with a GOOD sense of humour.
    4. A man who hasn't got a wife/ girlfriend/ shagger, he just happens not to remember.
    5. A man who doesn't lie.

    Who says I'm bitter!!!
  2. Command_doh

    Command_doh LE Book Reviewer

    You meant to say

    'A good spit roasting'

  3. May I refer you to point number 3.
  4. You're not real are you? I've been looking at your previous posts. Have you thought of logging into Rear Party and giving them the delights of your vast experience. Just a thought - no malice intended.
  5. Are you by any chance:
    1. A woman who you don't have to fake it with.
    2. A woman who makes you come, AFTER she has come.
    3. A woman with anything approaching a sense of humour.
    4. A woman who hasn't got a husband/ boyfriend/ shagger, she just happens not to remember.
    5. A woman who doesn't lie - especially about the true status of her "irretrievably broken" marriage / engagement / shagging arrangements

    If so - pics welcome by PM!

    I drink bitter but I'm not. :D
  6. If thats your top 5 love, you are posting in the wrong place!
  7. What a bloke wants.

    1. A female species with a hole.
    2. That hole should not have the ability to speak
    3. Arms and legs are a nicety but not a necessity.
    4. No family is preferable as no one will be looking for the body.
  8. How can I not be real??? Touch me!

    OOOH, not there!!!
  9. With a claw hammer?
  10. I do!!!
  11. It's always the claw hammer with you isn't it? No romance, no foreplay, no gentle caress, no furtive frotting - just straight in with the claw hammer. Don't you ever think that a bit of variety might be worth trying? ;)
  12. I hereby pronounce you husband and wife. The End. :wink:
  13. Faaaaarrrrrrrrrpppppppppppppp
  14. You're wrong.

    Foreplay is trying to stuff them in the boot of a MkII Granada. What more do they fucking want?
  15. A Zodiac?