What a cow!!

#1
I'm on my outrage unicycle at the moment.

In January my youngest lad broke up with his cow of a girlfriend and she moved out of the very expensive one bedroomed flat she had insisted they live in. That left him with no money other than for essentials because he had to make the rent on his own every week.
A week after they broke up they got back together but she didn't move back in with him although she ended up sleeping there every night, eating his food, drinking his drink etc.
A couple of weeks ago she goes out with her mates leaving MiT Junior at home as he couldn't afford to go out as he had to make rent etc. At 1 am she calles him, pissed and gets him out of bed to come and pick her up from town because she was shitfaced. He gets out of bed and goes to pick her up in the car they share (but she owns). She is farting around in the car bouncing up and down to the radio as he is trying to drive off. Plod notice this and pull him over:

Breath Test - Fine
Licence - Fine
MOT - Fine
Insurance - New policy with his name not on it.

When they had split up she had cancelled him off the insurance and never told him when they got back together. She was always getting him to take her here and there but had never told him he was off the insurance.

Result: He has pleaded guilty by letter with the circumstances in mitigation. He has been told that is an automatic 6 points and, because he has had his licence less than 2 years he'll get a ban.
To cap it all she got shitfaced again this Saturday and started on him because he complained about the insurance. He told her to do one and in the resulting argument her Dad attacked MiT Jr. punching him and getting him in a headlock. MiT Jr smacks the tw@ and in the scuffle cowbag gets an elbow in the face. He's upset by all this going on and gets in a taxi and comes to join MiT and the Mem Sahib.
When we take him back to his flat the next day we find she has entered the flat and changed the number on the doorlock so we end up breaking the window in his door to open the door, we changed the number again and I fitted a replacement 5 lever door lock and reglazed the door: Total parts comes to £79.99 from B&Q.
Later that day OB comes and arrests junior for assaulting cowbag and he gets a caution (mainly because he was too daft to call a solicitor) and held his hand up to an assault when it was accidental at best.
Yesterday she texts him to remind him that it is her birthday next week and she would like the present she knows he has bought for her.
What a slag, slag, slag, slag, slag slag.
Feel a bit better now, ta.
 
#3
Nothing in it for myself MiT but do you want me to Hate F uck her in the brown eye :twisted:

Get the Birthday present on Ebay to help pay the bills.
 
#4
To be honest she may be all you say but young MIT really does need to take a reality check about his life in general. He is clearly over extended finacially and needs a bit of guts to tell said young lady to take the a running jump.
 
#8
Do you have any pictures of said cow ahem preferably non-attired ahem so we can judge for ourselves, cough
 
#9
Shouldn't be we giving real sound advice? Like getting her shit-faced yet again, sticking her in bed before promptly setting fire to the place and beating a hasty retreat.
 
#11
Markintime said:
right-grumpy said:
Nothing in it for myself MiT but do you want me to Hate F uck her in the brown eye :twisted:

Get the Birthday present on Ebay to help pay the bills.
Yes but use a telegraph pole, (junior's a big lad ;) )
Fcuk it - what are friends for! I'll give you hand R-G :twisted:
 
#12
Have you asked whether he has done her up the hoop yet? If he has why is he still with her/staying intouch?
 
#13
The power of ARRSE!!

I sent a link to the Mem Sahib at her work. She was in tears over this after speaking to Junior at lunchtime.

She's read your responses and says it has cheered her up no end and put a smile back on her face again, she will look in during the afternoon and urges you all to keep the replies coming, the baser the better! She says you're all wonderful but no, she wont be sending her pick in, (before you ask)!
 
#14
rickshaw-major said:
Markintime said:
right-grumpy said:
Nothing in it for myself MiT but do you want me to Hate F uck her in the brown eye :twisted:

Get the Birthday present on Ebay to help pay the bills.
Yes but use a telegraph pole, (junior's a big lad ;) )
Fcuk it - what are friends for! I'll give you hand R-G :twisted:

And I'll tell what will be fun R-M, when we are done with her how about we use the barrow on her, pig-stick or do they have the electrical disrupter :twisted:
 
#15
She sounds the veritable "snake with tits". Your "younger of the Clan MiT" needs to however switch on. From our disgruntled old age we all know that AOs were "Charge Cow's father with assault" and "Tell her to get a fecking taxi" with the alternative AO being "Check insurance after break in cow/self relationship"...

Hindsight is a wonderful thing I grant you but he appears to be a bit cnut-struck by this one, who presumably is not otherwise a honey and is merely using him for her own malicious domestic and transport uses? Get him to invite her on a week to Cyprus, hire a mini moke and take a shovel...
 
#16
Just make sure he doesnt spend an evening alone with her again, by the sound of her he is a hair's breadth from spending the weekend in a papersuit as she sobs in a portacabin into the shoulder of a WPC....seen it 'appen guv....although he had actually done it, (moral of the story, if your a joiner, dont go 'a' rapin in your creosote covered boots and a fleece covered in woodchips !)
 
#19
Ask him if he knows what she looks like with an exploded fire extinguisher hanging out of her face. If not why not?
 
#20
First off get the lad into a flat he can afford and help him get his finances in order.

He should sh1t in a gift wrapped box and give it to the cow for a Birthday Pressie!
 
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