What’s been your biggest/worst Christmas day surprise?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Old_Sparky_RE, Dec 25, 2011.

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  1. Well I thought shitting myself on the main gate at Hamel at 3 in the morning when I thought I was going to fart was quite a supprise!
    Then the wife setting fire to the kitchen when we were at JHQ on Christmas morning was a supprise aswell!

    But today, that has all been well and truely hit-for-six as my nubile (and I mean FIT) 17 year old niece has come out to her family (wife and I always had our thoughts which way she batted).

    But if thats not enough she has started to take sex change tablets and now wants to known as 'Dave'. FFS she/it/he is only 17.

    All those perverted thoughts what they got up to in the dorms after lights out at her posh girls school are ruined!

    Just Google whats involved as the wife trys to answere questions from my little lad. I'm just glad I pulled the giblets out the turkey yesterday and sewed it up!

    Whats been the biggest Christmas supprise you've had?
  2. Get pictures for us before she turns into a bloke.
  3. 1976 I didn't get dicked for Christmas and New Year emergency ambulance duty.
  4. I got partially run down on Christmas Day at Aldershot
  5. Step dad poping his clogs 8 years ago and leaving every thing too me old block was fit as anything mind you I hated him but paying the mortgage off 21 years early made up for it.
  6. That's right, pics or it never happened.
  7. Same here, it can be a depressing time for some.
  8. Actually getting a present this year!!! That was a real fucking surprise :)
  9. The RSM smashing my window in my bunk at Wildenrath to break in and serve Gunfire. The unsociable twat had given me 5 extras, day on day off for belting a Snowdrop on the gate a couple of weeks earlier.

    He didn't like being told to fuck off when he chapped on my door. I'd only got off stag an hour before.

    My bunk was freezing till I got a new window put in.

    And I got fucking billed for it.
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  10. Fuck me. I envisioned you being in your late thrirties, early forties. Fuck knows why though.
  11. Getting Herpes
  12. Aldershot? 93 IIRC, Portcullis duties near to Browning Barracks. You?
  13. spike7451

    spike7451 RIP

    I farted & followed thru..you want piccies of my stained boxers?..
  14. Granted, the day isn't over, but so far my kids haven't exchanged an single cross word with each other. Now that's a fucking surprise!!
    • Like Like x 2
  15. As ARRSE is an equal opportunity site, I see no reason why you shouldn't post a pic of your shitty nickers. In fact I should do it pretty damn soon before the ARRSE Scat and marginalised perverse groups Outreach Officer knocks on your door.