Being bored, p issed and in a 'I couldn't give a *' mode, I thought that I would share this with the unedumicated south of the Rio Tweed (or Solway). This is not original and may have have seen the light of day on ARRSE but I feel it needed another airing. Wha's Like UsThe average Englishman in the home he calls his castle, slips into his national costume - a shabby raincoat - patented by Chemist Charles Macintosh from Glasgow, Scotland. En route to his office he strides along the english lane, surfaced by John Macadam of Ayr, Scotland. He drives an American car fitted with tyres invented by John Boyd Dunlop, Veterinary Surgeon of Dreghorn, Scotland. At the office he receives the mail bearing adhesive stamps invented by John Chalmers, Bookseller and Printer of Dundee, Scotland. During the day he uses the telephone invented by Alexander Graham Bell, born in Edinburgh, Scotland. At home in the evening his daughter pedals her bicycle invented by Kirkpatrick Macmillan, Blacksmith of Thornhill, Dumfriesshire, Scotland. He watches the news on T.V. an invention of John Logie Baird of Helensburgh, Scotland and hears an item about the U.S. Navy founded by John Paul Jones of Kirkbean, Scotland. He has now been reminded too much of Scotland and in desperation he picks up the bible, only to find that the first man mentioned in the good book is a Scot - King James V1 - who authorised its translation. He could take to drink but the Scots make the best in the world. He could take a rifle and end it all but the breach loading rifle was invented by Captain Ferguson of Pitfours, Scotland. If he escaped death, he could find himself on an operating table injected with penicillan, discovered by Sir Alexander Fleming of Darvel, Scotland and given Chloroform, an anaesthetic discovered by Sir james Young Simpson, Obstetrician and Gynaecologist of Bathgate, Scotland. Out of the anaesthetic he would find no comfort in learning that he was safe as the Bank of England founded by William paterson of Dumfries Scotland. Perhaps his only remaining hope would be to get a transfusion of guid Scottish blood which would entitle him to ask -------- Wha's Like Us Damn few! The above examples do not mention the name of the inventor of the World Wide Web (www) who is also a Scot. Without his input I could not wind up the South Brits or receive their plaudits. Prize to the first to name him ( clue - received high honour recently).