Whalemeat again...

Discussion in 'Cookery' started by EX_STAB, Nov 15, 2010.

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  1. Is it possible to buy whalemeat in the UK or is it illegal to import it? I was just thinking of upsetting some animal rightists.....

    Oh and I'd need some snake as well.
  2. Save up and get some Panda burgers.
  3. Pah! Do-gooders only like certain types of animals - preferably cuddly, but endangered gets points as well. Snakes aint going to cut the mustard, although they're quite good fricasse'd in a Dijon mustard and white wine sauce. May I suggest:

    1. Panda (Yes Jarrod, a winner with the Guardianistas);
    2. Dog. Any type. I was told in Vietnam that Chow Chows' paws help you to lactate - job jobbed as annoying young people tend to say.
    3. French Poodles, and annoying little mobile tubes of shit that noncy Frenchmen hold in the crook of their arms while talking about art theatre and existentialism. (See above, but more so.)
  4. I am sure ifyou looked in the ruins of K4 in the old cookery school at St Omer, you would still find tins of whalemeat and or those horrible 5lb blocks of dessicated whale flesh, which kept popping up for use in the late 50,s, everyone slags off the cooks, but you would be amazed at some of the crap we were given as rations to try and convert into food, a good example was tinned milk powder and dried egg from before WW2 used as a staple for scrambled egg or bacon and egg pie, if one was to check if any of the old yellow garages are still standing in beaumont park,especially lancer court, while on jankers in 59 we painted a row of garages with a 100gallon drum of re constituted dried egg, which we convinced one of the drill pigs was a new synthetic paint!!
  5. Short of discretely harpooning a harbor porpoise I think you'll be horribly vexed. I blame the EU, though the Barnsley accords of 87 on sea mammals and all things cuddly may be somewhat culpable.

    I've the similar problem in Waitrose: ever since Heston B started pimping for them it's impossible to find free range British human flesh on their butcher's counter, please God let the IDS final solution for the sinful workshy put an end to this dreadful austerity.
  6. Whale meat is a bit of a problem. I was hoping that the pod of pilot whales that were in 'self destruct' mode last week would provide some fresh but they buggered off to Ireland to complete the deed! Porpoise meat is somewhat different, not as 'heavy'. Having said that, whoever draws the cartoon steaks for Disney must have eaten porpoise as the steaks sliced from the lower tail section look just like their cartoon counterpart.

    Speaking to some guys in Iceland a while ago, their suggestion was to find someone in Greenland or the Føroyar to help. Although the grind is over, there should be plenty available in the Føroyar.
  7. Be honest, even if you got some do you have a pan big enough to cook it in?
  8. As to human flesh, it has not been that long since it was available in the UK. I was in hospital in the UK about 10 years ago and was served shepherd pie. It must have been an old and gamey shepherd as the meat in the pie tasted of mutton. I was a bit alarmed when told the pudding was spotted dick and relieved to see it when it was served.

    There was a young woman who used to work with me who was very vegan and tree huggy. Ordinarily i don't mind such people but she was very annoying about it. A friend and i used to drive her out of the kitchen at work at lunchtime by conversing about baby veal, venison, reindeer, zebra, wildebeast, ostrich etc. Due to a trip to Kenya and Tanzania I had actually eaten all of the above except for the reindeer but had good reindeer descriptions from the wife's deployment to Norway (Boda or Budda ???) on a NATO exercise. She was really upset one day when I described how back when i skied I had after-ski boots made from white fur from newborn baby seals. Great fun. The young woman started eating at her desk after that.
  9. I can recommend the Taipan,


    especially during the mating season. Guaranteed to upset anyone if thrown accurately enough, although only once each. They tend to be quite imperturbable after that.
  10. If you really wanna piss of the yoghurt knitting save the Whales tossers, nip over to Vietnam and buy a couple of bottles of snake wine to keep on prominent display in your house. Avagander but scroll down a bit: Boozeblogger » Uncategorized
  11. If you like exotic meats, the aussie meat pie takes some beating and for our expats in thailand som tam pla rah , makes a vindaloo tasty as mild as jarrods ovaltine
  12. Fang_Farrier

    Fang_Farrier LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    Unlikely they'll know what it actually looks like, so tell them it's whale meat!

    As for snake, you can buy eel and that would certainly pass as snake when skinned.

    Anyway some good old fashioned Bambi is readily available and always a favourite of tree huggers.
  13. It makes a good missile though.
  14. For those with a strong constitution who want to go for the Grand Slam there's always Chinese 3 Penis wine, made with the dessicated tadgers of dogs, deers and seals mixed together

    The Bottle Gang: The Undrinkable Cocktail
  15. I am in Florida now and a number of places serve alligator. Most serve it fried sort of like fish and chips but it is very tasty grilled with a Teriyaki glaze. it actually tastes just like chicken but the meat is whiter, pure white really.

    I recall a long time ago(50+ years) my father ordered whale in a restaurant and he gave me some. Looked and tasted like beef as best I can recall.