We've always done that way!

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous Jokes' started by IssacHunt, Nov 1, 2010.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Start with a cage containing five monkeys. In the cage, hang a banana on a string and put stairs under it. Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana.

    As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the monkeys with cold water. After a while, another monkey will make an attempt with the same response -- all of the monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Keep this up for several days.

    Turn off the cold water. If, later, another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it even though no water sprays them.

    Now, remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his horror, all of the other monkeys attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.

    Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm.

    Replace the third original monkey with a new one. The new one makes it to the stairs and is attacked as well. Two of the four monkeys that beat him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs, or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey.

    After replacing the fourth and fifth original monkeys, all the monkeys which have been sprayed with cold water have been replaced. Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs.

    Why not?

    "Because that's the way it's always been done around here."
  2. Command_doh

    Command_doh LE Book Reviewer

    Is this a joke or a remedy for all of societies ills?
  3. I wonder if that would work with rotweilers and a bone ? be a fcking good scrap
  4. To be fair by the time you pissed about doing all that, the monkeys would have starved to death and the banana rotted away, so bit pointless really :)
  5. Twaddle at its most arrant.
  6. So old, I am sure it was seen written in caves in France with animal dung.
  7. how dissapointing as i was currently building the cage as i read this

    i was going to use red laboons and mongs, the gingers ones being best for experimenting on so i've heard
    had lined up a supplier of the pikey inbreds from leeds at no expense (cheers ren, family clearout was it?)
    but seeing as its been done i'll not bother

    anyone want to buy a half built fritzlesque sub basement complex in crewe then?
  8. There will be a few Fritzl Walts along in a moment