Westdown Camp Naafi Bogs

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by convoy_cock, Jun 27, 2005.

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  1. I was on the beer last night with an ex REME mate and we got to talking about the above subject.

    We were in full agreement that the sh-itters in the NAAFI at Westdown were the single greatest graffiti repository known to man.

    Whenever we went through there, I used to set aside special time to drop my guts in all three traps. I have such fond memories of literally crying with laughter at some of the abuse, jokes and gratuitous regimental insults that were put up there. There were dozens of rudimentary felt-tip drawings of sex acts underscored by comments about the artists abilities. I wish i'd taken pictures. I remember that the whole of the back of the door and the mdf on both sides of the bowl were thick with scrawlings. Some of the ones that stick in my mind made so sense at all.

    "If your knickers smell of wazz, change from Ariel to new formula Daz" signed Pete 42 CDO.

    "CLASH, GASH, HASH, CASH. KEITH AND SARAH" I still ponder what the fcuk that one meant.

    Some of the jokes used to make me fcuking howl. Apologies to the regiment in question, but I remember it well.

    "Why don't the Glosters get NAAFI Breaks?"
    "Cos it takes to long to re-train them"

    All genius stuff, completely free and guaranteed to make you roar as your legs went numb.

    I used to love the ones that went on for ages. Predating the internet, they would be like primitive threads, where someone would have started with an inflammatory comment in 1975 claiming that "The Royal Anglians are b-astards" Riposte and counter riposte could continue for years before the bog floor was reached.

    Does anyone else have fond memories of the chuckles to be had gawking at these masterstrokes?

    PS. I've just remembered another from that poet laureate who shall forever be known as "Big Nige from 9 Sqn"

    "There was an old woman who lived in a shoe.
    She had so many children, she could pull her p_issflaps over her head.
  2. Wretham "B" camp, the armoury.
    "One man, one weapon, one bunch of arrse".
    Beautifully put...
  3. 307

    307 War Hero

    Yeah armoury at Westdown unbelievable redecorating going on in there. Some great examples Mostly Para vs. everyone else I can remember 'Para, Para in the gutter being beaten sh*tless by some hat fu*ker' lots of nudes and nobs, made queing to draw weapons much more interesting than normal! Does anyone else think Westdown has some of the worst scoff as well?
  4. met my missus indirectly through the bogs,her mobile no.was written on the wall.

    i don't trust her.
  5. Why do squaddies draw tadgers with big one line axe wounds over the jerry helmet and about three pubic hairs over a ball bag which looks about the size of Liz the Nurse's arrse??

    Most of them haven't even met her.
  6. It's an interesting question Biscuits and one which has no answer. You seem to be forgetting the three mandatory, inverted tear drops of splodge emerging from the bell-end.

    For some reason, women's fannies were always drawn the same way as well. A proper midwifes view, usually with legs spread wide. The fann-y itself tended to look like a faceless Bert from Sesame Streeet, with a ridiculously large gash up the middle, and the hoop always had eight points of the compass round a central circle. I have yet to see such an exercise in symmetry in real life, and would pay at least £8.50 for the privilege.

    Talking to the rigger earlier, he mentioned the bogs at Barrybudden, where evidence of madness was apparent on all the walls, the most memorable being the simply penned,

  7. Memory is failing and I can't recall any graffiti from Westdown, I can however vividly remember the stench and artwork displayed in the porcelains at Soltau.

    Someone had drawn a a very accurate and well done Spitfire, shooting down a German Me109, then equally neatly had a drawn a bubble from the spitfire cockpit saying 'That'll teach you to make lumpy custard'

    Another neatly presented one was 'Neither a borrow or a lender be' then not so neatly added 'Go fcuk yourself you REMF cnut'

    Sh1thouse tennis.......... look left
    Look right
    Look left
    etc etc
  8. Soltau Bogs 1989:

    "if the Irish Rangers think they are so good
    Why do they wear the dossbags on their heads?"
  9. Hohne had some absolutely filthy traps out on the ranges with the usual knobs knockers and hairy axe wounds etc all over the walls and the little gem

    "If only the wife was this dirty" :lol:
  10. Achmer Ranges 1993:

    "Can the Green Howards come and collect your wives - their shit at block jobs"
  11. Redesdale 1995

    Wrote in very small letters at the bottom of the door so small you have to bend over to read it -

    'If you are reading this you are now sh*tting at an angle of 45 degrees'
  12. The old classic on many a kahzi wall

    “Don’t bother to stand on the seat the crabs here can jump 10 feet”
  13. an old one

    "Officers are like light houses in the desert very bright but fuck all use"
  14. LMAO, yeah, the poxy "Rocket Mortar" site at Senne' also had some doozies in and around it, mainly due i expect to the mind numbing boredom that place endowed..
  15. Sennelager probably the worst lager in the world.
    An old and overused saying but the effort that someone had taken to write it using those sticky target patches on the roof of the butts, this graffito was about 25 feet long and 3 feet high, he must have been truely bored. :)