Welshman who can`t play rugby or drink beer ??

#1
I have a mate.

He claims to be Welsh but when he plays rugby he is terrible.... drops the ball, will run 30 yards back then gets tackled, throws the ball away prior to contact and is forever feigning injury so he can run water for the lads.

This surprises me as I know that rugby is tantamount to a religion in the valleys.

I was hoping he would compensate for his lack of rugby prowess in the pub so I gave him a second chance, I`m a patient man you see.

When we hit the beer, me mate has a few pints and starts launching technicolour yawns all over the place... It`s like he`s trying to redecorate the whole fucking city. I heard him on kareoke and he can`t even bang out a tune like Harry Secombe


I`ve never seen him stick the hind legs of a sheep down the front of his wellies either?? Closest I have seen is a bit of work related dog fucking:policeflat:
^_^

It`s got to the point where I`m questioning if he`s the bastard offspring of an Italian.

Do I front my mate for being a Welsh Walt??? or is this guy just a one off mutation that should have been discarded from the cliffs at birth Spartan style??

I think he swings in here for a pint every so often so be gentle.

Thanks

New ARRSER - RST

ps: I`m not `my mate` and thanks be to baby jesus, I aint Welsh.
 
#2
Brutal bludgeon him to death with a toilet roll. Twice if you like. Once for being a Walt and once for possibly being Welsh.
 
#3
Since when has being proficient drinkers been a defining characteristic of the welsh?

Everyone knows in-breeding, rampant bestiality and self loathing at being just a small part of England are the things that set the Welsh apart.
 
#5
Poor bloke, being Welsh and having you for a "mate"! Hasn't he suffered enough?
 
#6
I can imagine no circumstances in which a sane man would pose as Welsh.
 
#8
I have a mate.
fucking doubt it

He is probably writing to an agony aunt asking that is it right his 'mate' is watching him all the time and should he tell him he is not gay.
Can I be your friend you 20 pint drinking rugby ace?

Cnut
 
#10
My mate can't play rugby, sing or drink, he doesn't have sex with sheep or know charlotte church...

But he's ugly as fuck and talks gibberish, so I believe he does actually hail from Wales.



(Who's coat is this jacket I'm getting..?)
He's not then, we all know Charlotte church, 90% inside and out.
 
#12
My mate can't play rugby, sing or drink, he doesn't have sex with sheep or know charlotte church...

But he's ugly as fuck and talks gibberish, so I believe he does actually hail from Wales.



(Who's coat is this jacket I'm getting..?)
We could be talking about the same bloke here?!?..... Or about the majority of the poulation of Wales
 

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