Welshman who can`t play rugby or drink beer ??

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by RST, Sep 9, 2012.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. RST

    RST Swinger

    I have a mate.

    He claims to be Welsh but when he plays rugby he is terrible.... drops the ball, will run 30 yards back then gets tackled, throws the ball away prior to contact and is forever feigning injury so he can run water for the lads.

    This surprises me as I know that rugby is tantamount to a religion in the valleys.

    I was hoping he would compensate for his lack of rugby prowess in the pub so I gave him a second chance, I`m a patient man you see.

    When we hit the beer, me mate has a few pints and starts launching technicolour yawns all over the place... It`s like he`s trying to redecorate the whole fucking city. I heard him on kareoke and he can`t even bang out a tune like Harry Secombe

    I`ve never seen him stick the hind legs of a sheep down the front of his wellies either?? Closest I have seen is a bit of work related dog fucking:policeflat:

    It`s got to the point where I`m questioning if he`s the bastard offspring of an Italian.

    Do I front my mate for being a Welsh Walt??? or is this guy just a one off mutation that should have been discarded from the cliffs at birth Spartan style??

    I think he swings in here for a pint every so often so be gentle.


    New ARRSER - RST

    ps: I`m not `my mate` and thanks be to baby jesus, I aint Welsh.
  2. Brutal bludgeon him to death with a toilet roll. Twice if you like. Once for being a Walt and once for possibly being Welsh.
    • Like Like x 1
  3. Since when has being proficient drinkers been a defining characteristic of the welsh?

    Everyone knows in-breeding, rampant bestiality and self loathing at being just a small part of England are the things that set the Welsh apart.
    • Like Like x 1
  4. You want to be mates with a Taff? Get a fucking grip
  5. Poor bloke, being Welsh and having you for a "mate"! Hasn't he suffered enough?
    • Like Like x 2
  6. I can imagine no circumstances in which a sane man would pose as Welsh.
  7. Poor fuckers probably too knackered from fucking your missus to be arsed chucking a ball around!
    • Like Like x 2
  8. fucking doubt it

    He is probably writing to an agony aunt asking that is it right his 'mate' is watching him all the time and should he tell him he is not gay.
    Can I be your friend you 20 pint drinking rugby ace?

  9. Does he knock his missus about?
  10. He's not then, we all know Charlotte church, 90% inside and out.
  11. RST

    RST Swinger

    No. Fuck off.
  12. RST

    RST Swinger

    We could be talking about the same bloke here?!?..... Or about the majority of the poulation of Wales