It was obvious that poor old Myles was absolutley hammered.
He was actually trying to steal Flossie from the next door field, who he'd been eyeing up for a potentially marathon sexathlon for weeks.
Unfortunately the amount of dutch courage that he needed to approach his loved one led him to kidnap a horned monster by mistake, albeit a rather passive one.
Note that the report makes no mention of the wellies that he was wearing in preparation for the lovefest!!!