Welcome to the World of Computers and No Privacy!!!

Discussion in 'The ARRSE Hole' started by Poppy, Oct 18, 2004.

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  1. Ordering Pizza In 2008....

    >

    >[This is so close to what is probably going to be happening in 2008

    >that we're not sure how funny this really is...]

    >

    >Operator: Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your national

    >ID number?

    >

    >Customer: Hi, I'd like to place an order.

    >

    >Operator: I must have your NIDN first, sir.

    >

    >Customer: My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's

    >6102049998-45-54610.

    >

    >Operator: Thank you Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland

    >Drive, and the phone number is 494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln

    >Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number is 266-2566. E-mail address

    >is eehan@home.net. I see you're calling me from home.

    >

    >Customer: Huh? Where'd you get all this information?

    >

    >Operator: We're wired into the HSS, sir.

    >

    >Customer: The HSS, what is that?

    >

    >Operator: We're wired into the Homeland Security System, sir. This

    >will add only 15 seconds to your ordering time.

    >

    >Customer: (sighs) Oh well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat

    >Special pizzas.

    >

    >Operator: I don't think that's a good idea, sir.

    >

    >Customer: Whaddya mean?

    >

    >Operator: Sir, your medical records and commode sensors indicate that

    >you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your

    >National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice.

    >

    >Customer: What?!?! What do you recommend, then?

    >

    >Operator: You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza. I'm sure you'll like it.

    >

    >Customer: What makes you think I'd like something like that?

    >

    >Operator: Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your

    >local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion.

    >

    >Customer: All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then.

    >

    >Operator: That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids.

    >Your 2 dogs can finish the crusts, sir. Your total is $49.99.

    >

    >Customer: Lemme give you my credit card number.

    >

    >Operator: I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash. Your

    >credit card balance is over its limit.

    >

    >Customer: I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver

    >gets here.

    >

    >Operator: That won't work either, sir. Your checking account is overdrawn

    >also.

    >

    >Customer: Never mind! Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready. How

    >long will it take?

    >

    >Operator: We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes,

    >sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick'em up while you're out getting the cash, but then, carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward.

    >

    >Customer: Wait! How do you know I ride a bike?

    >

    >Operator: It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid for and you just filled the tank yesterday.

    >

    >Customer: Well, I'll be a #%#^^&$%^$@#

    >

    >Operator: I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a

    >July 4, 2003 conviction for cussing out a cop and another one I see here in September for contempt at your hearing for cussing at a judge. Oh yes, I see here that you just got out from a 90 day stay in the State Correctional Facility. Is this your first pizza since your return to society?

    >

    >Customer: (speechless)

    >

    >Operator: Will there be anything else, sir?

    >

    >Customer: Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2 liter of Coke..

    >

    >Operator: I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us

    >from offering free soda to diabetics. The New Constitution prohibits this.





    Thank you for



    calling Pizza Hut!
     
  2. Welcome to the brave new world, Stoppit I want to get off :twisted:
     
  3. yep id cards what a great idea!!!!