Welcome to the World of Computers and No Privacy!!!

#1
Ordering Pizza In 2008....

>

>[This is so close to what is probably going to be happening in 2008

>that we're not sure how funny this really is...]

>

>Operator: Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your national

>ID number?

>

>Customer: Hi, I'd like to place an order.

>

>Operator: I must have your NIDN first, sir.

>

>Customer: My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's

>6102049998-45-54610.

>

>Operator: Thank you Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland

>Drive, and the phone number is 494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln

>Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number is 266-2566. E-mail address

>is eehan@home.net. I see you're calling me from home.

>

>Customer: Huh? Where'd you get all this information?

>

>Operator: We're wired into the HSS, sir.

>

>Customer: The HSS, what is that?

>

>Operator: We're wired into the Homeland Security System, sir. This

>will add only 15 seconds to your ordering time.

>

>Customer: (sighs) Oh well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat

>Special pizzas.

>

>Operator: I don't think that's a good idea, sir.

>

>Customer: Whaddya mean?

>

>Operator: Sir, your medical records and commode sensors indicate that

>you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your

>National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice.

>

>Customer: What?!?! What do you recommend, then?

>

>Operator: You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza. I'm sure you'll like it.

>

>Customer: What makes you think I'd like something like that?

>

>Operator: Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your

>local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion.

>

>Customer: All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then.

>

>Operator: That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids.

>Your 2 dogs can finish the crusts, sir. Your total is $49.99.

>

>Customer: Lemme give you my credit card number.

>

>Operator: I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash. Your

>credit card balance is over its limit.

>

>Customer: I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver

>gets here.

>

>Operator: That won't work either, sir. Your checking account is overdrawn

>also.

>

>Customer: Never mind! Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready. How

>long will it take?

>

>Operator: We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes,

>sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick'em up while you're out getting the cash, but then, carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward.

>

>Customer: Wait! How do you know I ride a bike?

>

>Operator: It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid for and you just filled the tank yesterday.

>

>Customer: Well, I'll be a #%#^^&$%^$@#

>

>Operator: I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a

>July 4, 2003 conviction for cussing out a cop and another one I see here in September for contempt at your hearing for cussing at a judge. Oh yes, I see here that you just got out from a 90 day stay in the State Correctional Facility. Is this your first pizza since your return to society?

>

>Customer: (speechless)

>

>Operator: Will there be anything else, sir?

>

>Customer: Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2 liter of Coke..

>

>Operator: I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us

>from offering free soda to diabetics. The New Constitution prohibits this.





Thank you for



calling Pizza Hut!
 

Latest Threads

Top