Welcome to Paradise

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Skunkmiester, Jul 25, 2013.

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  1. I'm a snob, I get told by my mother that I am a snob, my wife says it sometimes and do you know what? So fucking what? I like nice things, I have changed jobs to chase money so that I can afford nice things and most of the time I am happy with my life. I try hard not to act a twat and generally I'm pretty easy going on most issues.

    But at the moment I am living through a holiday that I am fucking hating more than anything that I have endured.

    We usually go on a good holiday every Easter, chasing the sun, maybe skiing in January and a nice holiday in summer.
    Last year we got the camping bug, more glamping really, and went to Hurley near the Thames with friends and had a fun couple of weekends.

    So out I went and bought a sod off big Outwell tent with all of the kit, and spent the winter doing up a VW T4 with fridge, cooker (and made it look 'rad'.....I think that is what the street kids say nowadays).

    So last year we stayed 5 nights in The Haven in Poole and had a great time. So this year, why not go camping around Poole instead? Yeah, of course, it's going to be a wonderfull English, 5 go mad in Dorset style holiday, lashings of Ginger Ale etc.

    My wife booked up the camping location and we are all set. On the drive down, she mentioned about how handy the kids club would be.....kids club? Eh? What do you mean kids club love?

    And night time entertainment? WTF? What is this place?

    It's fucking Butlins, but with tents.
    I am spending 5 days of my life on a Travellers re-enactment holiday. Screaming kids, screaming foul mouthed parents, footballs being kicked everywhere, the outdoor pool is closed cause somebody has shat in it, the equivelant of Watneys red barrel, chad as fuck entertainment, hi-de-fuckin-hi.

    Last night during a heavy downpour, my new £850 tent decided to leak. So 2 hours of sleep last night and this morning I was considering waiting for it to dry out so I could advise my wife and daughter to vacate the fucker as I wanted to flick matches at it.

    I'll organise next years holiday, Singapore next year, no arguments.

    I realise that I'll be getting shit of you lot for this post, but I needed to vent, feeling better now, showered and drinking a Hendrcks and Tonic with cucumber, listening to the Marc Riley show.

    Have any of you had shit holidays that you wish to share?

    2 days left, where's me dag?
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  2. So what are you selling and how much do you want for it..?
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  3. Drivers_lag

    Drivers_lag On ROPs

    I cannot think of a more miserable experience than going camping with children.

    You fucking tube.

    You deserve everything you've got coming.
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  4. Any piccies of your wife?
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  5. Do we need to know this???
    Im really trying to care less, are you walting as a snob, theres got to be some point to this post
  6. Naked?
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  7. Man up and get the petrol cooker out.:salut:
  8. Yeah, your right, the Emperor will be dining out on this one for a while.
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  9. A bloke I know (Danny) says if you want a 9mil + a couple of rounds to end it all, he has a spare he can let you have now the heat has been turned down a bit.

    Poole, tent, kids? You don't deserve a quick end.
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  10. Did ye get da one wid da shag poyle caaaaarpet?
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  11. In periwinkle blue
  12. Nope, I put in expensive sound proofing, Wipe clean flooring (as used in hospitals), and I painted it in 'rape van black'.
    I have yet to fit it with the masking tape dispensing unit and hammer as I have yet to decide on Ball Peen or Claw.

    Also I didn't realise how long it took to dig a well / pit. The summer sun has made the ground really dry to dig through and there are a lot of stones and rocks to dig through in my area.
  13. Did you take your red coat
  14. I feel your pain.
  15. Just pause a while and consider your chavvy neighbours feelings, having you pitched next to them and acting all hoity toity like.
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