Welcome to Fukwitistan.

#43
ExRLCBod said:
yo ArMy pEepZ, cOz Da RmE iS wElL BaNgIn So I. iz WaNtIn To BrInG mE lAyDeEz, Is I aLrItE tO bE kEePiN dEm On Da BaSs CoZ i Iz NeEdIn To Be GiViN eM sUm On A rEgUlA bAsIz iNnIt.

lAtErZ bReDrIn

God, that was painful to type
Translated, this is:
Good Day Army People, Because the Army is an excellent place to be, I was wondering if it would be possible to bring some of my very good lady friends. Will they be OK to stay on the base, as they are all suffering from Nymphomania, and I am required to copulate with them on a regular basis
Hope that helps
 
#44
I can't do this anymore. See this photo:



That's me that is.
 
#45
k13eod said:
Having logged on to ARRSE a couple of times over the weekend and today, I was quite astounded to note how many inane, irrelevant and ill thought out threads had appeared. Mostly from those either considering joining the army or actually accepted and awaiting to go to Phase 1. So, here’s a thread for those incapable or too bone idle to research their chosen career. Where bone questions can be asked and rightly mocked.

Some examples might be:

1. When I go to Basic Training can I still wear my own pyjamas?
2. My 1.5 mile time is down to 22 minutes, will I pass selection?
3. If I take my SIM card to Phase 1 will it work in an army radio and allow me free calls?
4. My surname is Smith; will I automatically be called Smudge as I prefer Darren?
5. Will other recruits laugh at me in the shower because I have a penis the size of a frozen shrimp?

So the rules are quite simple; ensure that your question is as inane as possibly can be; try to word your question in poor English preferably without punctuation and in chav speak; endeavour to pour abusive remarks on those of your betters who answer your question using the derision and sarcasm it so richly deserves.

Enjoy … and welcome to Fukwitistan!
Please remember; God loves idiots, that's why he made so many.
 
#47
wat iz da best gat to get when i getz to me reg???//?do we get to chooz or iz yoo made to have wat thay tell yoo? i wantz tha big blak one wiv bulletz on tha side bbbrraapppp bbrraapppp
 
#48
blue_sophist said:
The_Snail said:
I can't do this anymore. See this photo: ... That's me that is.
Why do you dye your eyelashes green?
Is that to match the uniform, or just a personal perversion?
Or is it now mandatory?
Gunny Highway's Love Wee tends to turn your hair that colour.
 
#49
can i choose my posting as i dont want to b 2 far from home and wot if i dont like my room can i change it?
 
#51
Can I go home every other weekend to my flat cos if I dont then the council will take it off me and do I have to tell them I have joined the army or can I still sign on???
 
#52
I can't believe you've all left out the traditional sign off.....

Braaap Braaaaap!!!
 
#54
my bruv waz in da cadets fer 2 weeks an e saiz i will ae to av a baf evry week but me aint no puff lik but me is scared of drownin like so can i wer me barbi wator wing fings
 
#55
i wanna go too war an shute peeps an stuff but when i dun enough can i tell em and come home? do i have to wate til they telz me i can go? coz that breaches me yuman nites annat. duz rynare fly to afgannystan so i can come hom on friday? coz i meet me bruvs then an we shag loads of biches
 
#56
shortarms said:
my bruv waz in da cadets fer 2 weeks an e saiz i will ae to av a baf evry week but me aint no puff lik but me is scared of drownin like so can i wer me barbi wator wing fings
Now, that one, is actually quite funny.

Oh, and Prae, you were once in their shoes, except you used to actually phone me and bore the tits off me about it.
 
#57
dis aleegance fing, do i ave to swear to it. the queen is getting on a bit and to be onest,cant i swere it to de ginger 1 or de yung bald 1 cos dety is wiv it flying choppers and being in afganeestan and sh1t, big up to the boyz in grene. if youse ever in da hood, da blow and wkds is on me an me homees,braaaaaaaaaap,braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap.
 

mercurydancer

LE
Book Reviewer
#59
I can stand recruits talking like AliG but if i ever hear a RSM say...


"Necks in back of collars.. knowwarrimeeeeeeeen?? " then things have gone too far.
 

mercurydancer

LE
Book Reviewer
#60
We might start a new thread...translate DS speak to chavspeak...
 

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