Weird weird world...

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by chrisg46, Jun 1, 2006.

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  1. chrisg46

    chrisg46 LE Book Reviewer

    In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death. (Like THAT makes sense.)

    In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror. Do they look different reversed?)

    The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation. (Much worse than "going blind!")

    There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time . (wheres my damn passport??)
    Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry. (Let's just think about this one for a minute; is there any job anywhere else in the world that even comes close to this?)

    In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. The husband's illicit lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired. (Ah! Justice!)

    Topless sales women are legal in Liverpool, England - but only in tropical fish stores. (But of course!)

    In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act
    Makes one shudder at the thought.)

    In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time. I presume this was a big enough problem that they had to pass this law?

    In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with One exception: Prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only "in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises." ( Is this a great country or what? Well . . . not as great as Guam!)

    Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Who volunteers for this stuff?)

    Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (Is that why Flipper was always smiling?)

    The ant can lift 50 times it's own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.(From drinking little bottles of . ?)

    An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

    Starfish don't have brains.
     
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  3. Decapitation for wanking?....... We'd have to twin this place with Sleepy Hollow if it was law here.
     
  4. ok then, useless knowledge it is....

    Here are some useless facts about the 1500s:

    • Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath
    in May and still smelled pretty good by June. However, they were starting
    to smell, so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odour. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.

    • Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the
    house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons
    and men, then the women and finally the children. Last of all were the
    babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in
    it. Hence the saying: "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water."

    • Houses had thatched roofs - thick straw, piled high, with no wood
    underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats
    and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it
    became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and off the roof. Hence the saying: "It's raining cats and dogs."

    • There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This
    posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could
    mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded
    some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence.

    • The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt. Hence the saying "dirt poor."

    • The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter
    when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on floor to help keep their
    footing. As the winter wore on they added more thresh until when you
    opened the door it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was
    placed in the entranceway. Hence the saying a "thresh hold."

    (Getting quite an education, aren't you?)

    • In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle
    that always hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added
    things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat.
    They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes stew had food
    in it that had been there for quite a while. Hence the rhyme, "Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas
    porridge in the pot nine days old."

    • Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite
    special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show
    off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could "bring home the bacon." They
    would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and
    "chew the fat."

    • Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid
    content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead
    poisoning death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next
    400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.


    • Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt
    bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or
    "upper crust".

    • Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would
    sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days. Someone walking
    along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They
    were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family
    would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake
    up. Hence the custom of holding a "wake."

    • England is old and small and the local folks started running out of
    places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the
    bones to a "bone-house" and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins,
    1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they
    realized they had been burying people alive. So they would tie a string on
    the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the
    ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard
    all night (the "graveyard shift") to listen for the bell; thus, someone
    could be "saved by the bell" or was considered a "dead ringer."

    And that's the truth . . .
     
  5. That's a defeatist attitude, if ever I heard one.
     
  6. yeah i am sorry, i lost it for a minute there..... :p
     
  7. I remember reading some time back that in historical Russia, the bridegrooms father had to break in the bride by having sex with her on the wedding night. 8O
     
  8. anyone ever heard the one about its still legal to kill a scotsman in the city walls of York with a crossbow between certain hours? allegadly its an old by-law that has never been dumped, fair game i say lol!
     
  9. Cuts down on the Big Issue sellers I suppose Slates!
     
  10. Well I appear to have earned many hundred death sentences over the years.

    It would be interesting to see a court in session on one of these charges.
     
  11. The first man to distill bourbon whiskey in the United States was a Baptist preacher, in 1789.
    Bloody typical! :lol:

    When airplanes were still a novel invention, seat belts for pilots were installed only after the consequence of their absence was observed to be fatal - several pilots fell to their deaths while flying upside down.
    Dearie me :lol:

    The Ramses brand condom is named after the great pharaoh Ramses II who fathered over 160 children.
    Nob rot? :lol:

    The British once went to war over a sailor’s ear. It happened in 1739, when Britain launched hostilities against Spain because a Spanish officer had supposedly sliced off the ear of a ship’s captain named Robert Jenkins
    I bet Tony Blairs ancestors had something to do with it :lol:

    Napoleon constructed his battle plans in a sandbox.
    Iraq? :lol:

    The military salute is a motion that evolved from medieval times, when knights in armor raised their visors to reveal their identity
    Always wondered :lol:

    Czar Paul 1 banished soldiers to Siberia for marching out of step.
    And thats a bad thing?? :lol:

    Time magazine's "Man of the Year" for 1938 was Adolf Hitler
    Obviously its readers had no taste :lol:

    WWI flying ace Jean Navarre attacked a zeppelin armed with only a kitchen knife.
    Now that i would have liked to have seen :lol:
     
  12. lmao!
     
  13. right, next you will be telling me that Santa isnt real!! :cry:
     
  14. Anybody know when market day is?