Weird spam that made me laugh. A bit like Rowley Birkin QC

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by londonirish, Jan 29, 2008.

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  1. I opened a new email account with, an encryption site, and recieved two wonderful emails, which actually made me laugh...

    Both spam, since I cant possibly know either of the senders, but the verbage is hilarious, or at least mildly so, and reminded me of the charachter from the Fast Show who is a sozzled, rambling old barrister, Rowley Birkin QC, sits in his chair and spins yarns of foreign adventures, mysterious women and exotic beasts ends every soliloquy with 'I'm afraid that I was very, very drunk'.

    Here they are for your delectation

    The first caught my attention with its mention of "her little sabots", which really gets the military mind working...

    That was from Wiatrak Haisley. The second is from Gail Franchesi

    Quite marvellous....

    Dont worry, I didnt download any phishing software.

    Anyone else got any gems?
  2. I once had an email advertising something along the lines of "hardcore teen lesbian fisting"....from 'John Le Mesurier'.
  3. Now that's something I think he would have found rather amusing. He, after all was the wag who posted his own obituary notice in the Times, something along the lines of "JLeM would like to inform all his pals that he has snuffed it"
  4. Anyone know what is the reasoning (if any) behind these "Rowley Birkin" emails? :?
  5. old_fat_and_hairy

    old_fat_and_hairy LE Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    I get these on a regular basis, and I'm on a MoD pc. They come with all sorts of headers, sometimes referring to software, or more recently, to the price of precious metal on stock exchange, then descend into verbos garbage, as if they had been drafted by a dyslexic and disabled Japanese trying to write in Egyptian-translated English.
    Seems to be no point to then whatsoever.
  6. I think it is just auto generated verbage to make the message look like a real message to an anti spam bot
  7. Quite so. Sort of modern Lorum Ipsum.
  8. Just Googled that - everyday's a schoolday! 8)
  9. I've noticed that there seems to be some correlation with Google searches you've done and legitimate emails you've sent and received - a lot of the same keywords crop up in subsequent spam emails.

    From today's junk;

    Gnomic wisdom from Polyp V. Barbershop

    Beckettian prose from Luciano Corcoran

  10. I think they're messages from the dead...
  11. So from this, are we to assume that you are a man of varied interests?

    Rasnging from gnomes, ( I wonder if its the garden variety or the "Mystic Dwarves" of Judge Floro, see arrse posts passim) to polyps, awful things to have up your arrse, as my dear old Ma will testify should you ask her, (but I reccommend you don't), to a certain type of singing popular in the last century...
  12. The Mystic Dwarves of Judge Floro? Sounds intriguing - will have to look that one up. As for polyps I think we had them on the lawn one year but I put poison down and that took care of them.

    I actually thought of saving up all the spam that Thunderbird kicks into the trash and cobbling together a series of free-form avant-garde novels from them using William S. Burroughs' cut n' paste techniques.

    The next step would have been to look for an Arts Council grant for them. They seem to hand out cash for any old shoite if you can make it sound plausible enough. It would beat working.
  13. I think that's a splendid idea, lets do it, it'll be like the Great Rock and Roll Swindle, only more arty.

    You need to look up polyps though. I wasn't kidding. Just call Antrim hospital, they'll tell you all about the things...
  14. [quote="big_mad_ejit]I've noticed that there seems to be some correlation with Google searches you've done and legitimate emails you've sent and received - a lot of the same keywords crop up in subsequent spam emails.[/quote]

    So I can expect lots of spam about schoolgirls, swarfega and arrse tulips.

    I look forward to it.
  15. Aka New Labour