Weird purchases you have to explain....

D

Deleted 24582

Guest
What are some things you have purchased that you had to explain to the other half, that were a bit weird and out of the norm for you?

I was Amazon shopping and picked up this.


They are Chilling stones for beverages that you don't care to dilute with ice. I figured that was pretty fucking neat and added them to the cart. The wife is included in the email when we check out, and she looked at the order and asked me what I acquired via text...in her usual elegant style. So I get this text with WTF did you buy today Jones???

I responded with Cadbury's candy bars for the kids, some Cheerwine for you, a UW flag for the garage and drinking rocks.....

A few seconds later I get the ????? drinking rocks ??? response...

At which point I was like oh boy this is gonna be fun to explain telling her that her beloved husband spent 44 bucks for rocks....so I just waffled out and told her I had a meeting gotta go!
 
What are some things you have purchased that you had to explain to the other half, that were a bit weird and out of the norm for you?

I was Amazon shopping and picked up this.


They are Chilling stones for beverages that you don't care to dilute with ice. I figured that was pretty ******* neat and added them to the cart. The wife is included in the email when we check out, and she looked at the order and asked me what I acquired via text...in her usual elegant style. So I get this text with WTF did you buy today Jones???

I responded with Cadbury's candy bars for the kids, some Cheerwine for you, a UW flag for the garage and drinking rocks.....

A few seconds later I get the ????? drinking rocks ??? response...

At which point I was like oh boy this is gonna be fun to explain telling her that her beloved husband spent 44 bucks for rocks....so I just waffled out and told her I had a meeting gotta go!
Keep the drink, the mixer and the glasses in the fridge.
It is how I drink G+T (the only spirit I don't drink at room temperature) as I don't like floaters in my glass.
 
I was Amazon shopping and picked up this.
You have previously posted about things like class and Englishness and that prompts me to say that this is the sort of thing that only an American could buy and will get you looked down upon by every class of Englishman. Good whisky is drunk diluted, ever so slightly, with the same water it was made with and at room temperature. That way you can best appreciate the taste. The aristo and most of the upper middle class know this and will think you an oik for chilling your neat spirit. The plebs will despise you for buying something unnecessary, overpriced and poncy. The lower middle class will secretly wish they had thought of the idea first, but since they didn't will find a rational to make your 'nouveau' idea a bit 'naff'.
 
I don't have to explain anything these days, one of the benefits of being single.

I prefer the questioning looks you get from supermarket staff when buying things that are an odd combination. The strangest look was for a 4 pack of bog roll, a bottle of vodka and a jar of Bovril (I was a student at the time).
 
I don't have to explain anything these days, one of the benefits of being single.

I prefer the questioning looks you get from supermarket staff when buying things that are an odd combination. The strangest look was for a 4 pack of bog roll, a bottle of vodka and a jar of Bovril (I was a student at the time).
I can actually see how that as a combination would work.
I wish I couldn't.
 
D

Deleted 24582

Guest
You have previously posted about things like class and Englishness and that prompts me to say that this is the sort of thing that only an American could buy and will get you looked down upon by every class of Englishman. Good whisky is drunk diluted, ever so slightly, with the same water it was made with and at room temperature. That way you can best appreciate the taste. The aristo and most of the upper middle class know this and will think you an oik for chilling your neat spirit. The plebs will despise you for buying something unnecessary, overpriced and poncy. The lower middle class will secretly wish they had thought of the idea first, but since they didn't will find a rational to make your 'nouveau' idea a bit 'naff'.

Well at least I would be hated by everybody!! That does make life easier.
 
While filling up on chockerlit and fizzy drinks one friday night en route toi SPTA, I put a pair of tights on the little pile of shopping Matt had put on the conveyor belt...
 
I don't have to explain anything these days, one of the benefits of being single.

I prefer the questioning looks you get from supermarket staff when buying things that are an odd combination. The strangest look was for a 4 pack of bog roll, a bottle of vodka and a jar of Bovril (I was a student at the time).
I posted this somewhere else on this site but on a trip to Poundland (Don't judge me, you've all been there for a tinned pie) I filled my basket with several items.

The girl on the till started taking them out and could barely suppress her giggles.

1 packet of condoms - usage, obvious

2 packs of paracord, one green one black - for putting up a basha

1 tub of Vaseline - to relieve friction burns/joggers nipple from running

1 pack of rubber gloves - for using cold blue crème to improve the finish on my Webley revolver and other assorted items in my collection.

I thought about trying to explain it away to avoid any misunderstanding but realised it would be a waste of time. She isn't going to believe a word of it, who can blame her.
 

Chef

LE
For a long time down the road there was a Devon and Somerset fire engine parked/filling the front garden of a house used, I think, by a moped repair business.

Either the result of a cunning restoration plan (unlikely it looked fairly recent) or a drunken Saturday night on e-bay.

'Guess what you bought last night?'
 

philc

LE
I once got a nasty dose of the crabs, the ships scablifter gave me some cream for it and away I went. Unfortunately I went on leave and the cream ran out so I decided to go to my GP for some more cream.

This was a village GP who had been in the surgery 30 odd years and as I explained he asked to see the condition, I said I just wanted the cream but he wanted to see as in all his time as a village GP he had never seen crabs. Great I thought.

So he gave me the name of some cream that did not need prescription, just go to the chemists and ask for it, by now I am a little worried someone will gossip, so I say what should I say. He said say its for your dog.

So I dully go to the chemist and ask for the cream, the woman gives me a look of disgust and I say its for the dog, she hands over the cream and off I go. Home I look at the instructions and low and behold for humans and dogs, who knew.
 

Latest Threads

Top