Wednesday Morning funnies

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by drain_sniffer, Mar 8, 2006.

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  1. Got this via email today and thought I would share

    There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a
    long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired This is a
    true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a
    recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the
    Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word
    Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause".
    Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I
    know why they record these conversations!):

    Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"
    Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
    Operator: "What sort of trouble??"
    Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
    Operator: "Went away?"
    Caller: "They disappeared."
    Operator: "Hmm So what does your screen lo ok like now?"
    Caller: "Nothing."
    Operator: "Nothing??"
    Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
    Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"
    Caller: "How do I tell?"
    Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"
    Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"
    Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
    Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept
    anything I type."
    Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"
    Caller: "What's a monitor?"
    Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a
    TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"
    Caller: "I don't know."
    Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find
    where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"
    Caller: "Yes, I think so."
    Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if
    It's plugged into the wall.
    Caller: "Yes, it is."
    Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that
    there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"
    Caller: "No."
    Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again
    and find the other cable."
    Caller: "Okay, here it is."
    Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely
    into the back of your computer."
    Caller: "I can't reach."
    Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"
    Caller: "No."
    Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean
    way over??"
    Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle
    it's because it's dark."
    Operator: "Dark??"
    Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light
    I have is coming in from the window.
    Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."
    Caller: "I can't."
    Operator: "No? Why not??"
    Caller: "Because there's a power failure."
    Operator: "A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it
    licked now. do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??"
    Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
    Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and
    pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the
    store you bought it from."
    Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"
    Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
    Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"
    Operator: "Tell them you're too f*%king stupid to own a computer!!!!!"
     
  2. oldie but goodie :)
     
  3. Nice one, eased the utter boredom of Wednesday mornings...