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Wedding surprise!

#1
A guy, endowed with a freakish 2'6" todger, is asked by his mate to be best man at his wedding. Tired of strapping this monster to his leg every morning (shorts-wearing would have got him arrested!) he decides to use the occasion to do something different. He brings it upwards against his chest and, through a carefully cut-out hole in his shirt-front, pulls out the head at just the right height for a buttonhole. Then, instead of wearing the traditional carnation he buys a single one, removes the centre and arranges the outer petals around his projecting nobhead, leaving the entire 'buttonhole' a uniform pinkish colour. At the wedding reception later his unusual 'carnation' causes some interest, the ladies in particular wanting to smell it. After many admiring touches and sniffing by the ladies the bride's mother takes him aside. "My, what a beautiful buttonhole. Do you mind if I just smell it?" The guy was by now close to the edge, but what the hell! "Sure, go ahead." "Mmmm, lovely, such a beautiful big bud in the centre." She takes a really deep sniff and rubs her nose side to side against it." That's does it. He can't hold back any more and he shoots. "Oh my! What's happening?" Another spurt - straight at her. "Oh dear! What was that?" she says as she fumbles in her handbag for a handkerchief to wipe her spattered face. "Oh my! And I think some of what's come out of your carnation has gone into my mouth and I've swallowed it. Will it do me any harm?" The guy, feeling sheepish but with a mischievous glint in his eye, says "Nah. Don't worry. It's only Carnation Milk!" :D
 

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