Wedding Shite - the Stag Do Shite sequel

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Your_Mums_Pal, Oct 13, 2012.

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  1. So that's the stag and hen do out of the way and everybody survived to tell the tale about it (although she managed to fall out with two pals at the hen do 'cause that's women for you) and things have been moving on.

    Next Friday I will be a married man and given that we've been living together for 3 years, I doubt things will be much different to be honest. Now that I'm 4 grand down - exluding fucking kilts and dresses and stuff - I'm just hoping this is actually going to be a good day and worth having.

    We have had no end to the crap from family members about who's sitting next to who and such. Soontobe Mrs Pal even got a text from a friend asking if she can wear white, which caused a stir when it really shouldn't matter. Mums have been cracking up over certain aunties being invited or not being invited and even my Granny waded in with a complaint about the seating plan just last week, which actually resulted in her and my mum not speaking with each other for a while.

    Other than that we think we're going to have a good day. It's all in the one place and we're having a hand-fasting ceremony (done by the council on the cheap) so that should be a bit unusual and stuff. We went down to the registrars office the other day and had a practice, which I will admit I got a bit soppy about. The only regret at this stage - other than not just flying off somewhere private with close friends and doing it alone - is the fact that we didnt' book a rock band to play as we prefer that kind of music. But oh well.

    At this stage we've both admitted that we care less about the day and just want to get away on our honeymoon for our two week break.

    So what were you cunt's weddings like? Or have you been to any weddings with interesting/hilarious consequences other than prompt divorce?
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  2. As the music struck up for the march out of the church my maternal grandmother turned to my mum and said "it won't last, she's not for him".

    I wish she'd mentioned this when the vicar did his "if any person knows..." dit.
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  3. My advice, for what it's worth, is FUCKING STOP NOW!
    Rethink what the two of you want and book it!
    All the 'hangers on' want a piss up, regardless of what the two of you want, so man up and fuck the lot of them.
    You know it makes sense....
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  4. I'd rather not lose my deposit to be honest! All £1,500 of it! Also it's a fucking week away!
  5. A small price to pay, think about it. Two weeks pay for a lifetime of drudgery and disappointment. I know, I WAS that soldier!
    Good luck for the future regardless. Update us on here on your future experiences.
  6. Is everybody on ARRSE miserably divorced??
  7. Not yet.
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  8. Can't say for everybody, but probably!
  9. Got it bang on second time round. 21 years a still smiling. ;-)
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  10. My bold , thats why Gretna is there.....saves on all the shoite of relatives who don't speak to each other spoiling the day.
  11. This, of course, is a very good option and not to be sniffed at. I know a couple who married there in their forties and have just celebrated their 25th anniversary.
  12. Those who have complained have been told, politely, to shut the fuck up and get on with it. We've promised everybody a nice day, some good grub and a great big party and that's what we're hoping people are expecting. It fucks me off that people like my grandmother or my soontobe mother-in-law should know better and yet still kick up a fuss.
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  13. My wedding was a bit like yours sounds. Everything done in one place.

    It all went swimmingly until the speeches. When my father in law got up to speak, my own dad got up and went out for a fag, muttering "I'm not listening to him prattle on." To be fair my father in law is a nice bloke, but my dad had his arse in his hand with him at the time over nothing important.

    One of my friends though got married about 2 months before me. He married a boxhead that he'd met when travelling in Australia. The wedding was in Germany, in her home village about 2 hours from Munich. My fiance (at the time) and I didn't go as we were skint from paying for our wedding and honeymoon. Loads of people went over and were all put up in various locals houses as the village only had one very small hotel.

    They went on the 2 week honeymoon about a day or so after the wedding. The day they came back from the honeymoon, my friend texted everyone including me apologising for wasting everyones time and money for going to Germany as they were getting divorced. The reasons given at the time were that she wanted to emigrate to Australia whilst he wanted to stay in GB for a while as they'd just bought a house.

    My friend eventually found out about two years after the split, that she'd been having an affair pretty much since she'd met him, and had gone off with the other bloke (an Italian) and now lives in Rome.

    I remember saying to my wife towards the end of our honeymoon, that our marriage had so far lasted longer than his.
  14. Auld-Yin

    Auld-Yin LE Reviewer Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    Absolutely not! I am happily divorced and have been for 18 blissful, peaceful, serene years :clap:
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  15. Mine was a lovely day, church wedding followed by "Christmas dinner" and a party in the night.

    MrBee's only input was the colour scheme and we ended up with a pale lemon, because he wanted to wear a yellow tie and had a royal tantrum about it so he had yellow, but it did look nice for a summer wedding.

    We sat people where we wanted them to sit, no guests except me mr and mum knew the seating plan till the day to avoid arguments.

    We all got drunk in the night I got my dress jammed in a lift and we all lived happily ever after.
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