Wedding Day Bliss - Help me make the day special BUT CHEAP!!

#1
I am sat here listening to Chris Rea singing Highway to Hell...while ex wife and my daughter are sat cackling over fcuking wedding day magazines. Every now and again I hear Chris Rea sing Ching.....Ching....£......Ching....£.........Ching.

As she is my ex wife I obviously got 'fragged' at the divorce court so am looking at stuggling to pay my bit towards the happy day..although they seem not to be noticing my sighs of desparation!

Any money saving tips would be gratefully received...as soon as possible so that I can bring these 2 "money grabbing pair" down to earth!
 
#2
This could be an interesting ARRSE event. Where is it going to be?

First things first, getting a register office do rather than a church - that'll massively reduce the cost.
 

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LE
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#3
It will always end up costing more than you expect.

I would start pushing the idea forward for a beach wedding in Thailand.

Obviously the main costs will be the flights, which a lot of the guests will pay for themselves, everything else is cheap as chips out there and it will still work out cheaper than a UK wedding.

Oh wait just noticed this is in the Naafi, er ..... kill your daughter's fiance, just think of the dirty things he does to your little angel!
 
#6
He is RAF and she will also be in it then...hopefully together at RAF Benson. Perhaps they can be whisked away by a Merlin...spares permitting!

Confetti with gold edging.........................FFS I will make that out of tissue paper!
 
#8
Oh good idea....SOPRANO 54 you are at RAF Benson.......get this sorted please:

1 x Merlin on call
Officers Mess
That fit blonde Stewardess at my table
There will be more!!!!
 
#9
Get to the cookhouse and ask one of the chefs (mil type, obviously) to make the cake. I made my own in 2004, cost me about €60.
 

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#10
trelawney said:
He is RAF
I can't begin to imagine the pain you must be going through. Stay strong through this difficult time, my deepest thoughts are with you.
 
#11
Bribe him to elope with her (a wedding can easily cost more than a car, but the latter gets them to Gretna Green without need for any more fuss on your part).

What proportion of this shindig have you promised to pay - some specific bills, or share of final total?
 
#12
skintboymike said:
Get to the cookhouse and ask one of the chefs (mil type, obviously) to make the cake. I made my own in 2004, cost me about €60.
Sponge from Tesco's? Scrape Happy Birthday off it and redo the icing :D

vampangua said:
Bribe him to elope with her (a wedding can easily cost more than a car, but the latter gets them to Gretna Green without need for any more fuss on your part).

What proportion of this shindig have you promised to pay - some specific bills, or share of final total?
I think she thinks I am coughing up the fcuking lot!!

I want to make a contribution the less the better!

His dad is almost a millionaire and his mums boyfriend is seriously high up in BP but me...........well I am a pauper!
 
#13
Given Uxbridge isn't too far from Benson you might be able to get QCS to do the honour guard thing?

Btw, if you can get a good word in for me with the female Merlin driver who won the DFC ... I'd be grateful (she's HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT IMHO)
 
#14
Ursus.Maritimus said:
Given Uxbridge isn't too far from Benson you might be able to get QCS to do the honour guard thing?

Btw, if you can get a good word in for me with the female Merlin driver who won the DFC ... I'd be grateful (she's HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT IMHO)
http://www.greenflash.org.uk/gallery/tshirt.html

Got her to pose on here LOL..Just click the little picture!
 
#15
trelawney said:
Ursus.Maritimus said:
Given Uxbridge isn't too far from Benson you might be able to get QCS to do the honour guard thing?

Btw, if you can get a good word in for me with the female Merlin driver who won the DFC ... I'd be grateful (she's HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT IMHO)
http://www.greenflash.org.uk/gallery/tshirt.html

Got her to pose on here LOL
Good man! Still hoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooot mind!
 

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#16
Top tip:

Don't use an established wedding photographer they charge a fortune. Post an add at your local university or on gumtree.com and get a student photographer to do it for free. There are always kids looking to increase their portfolios and most of them would jump at the chance to do a big Forces wedding. Obviously you will have to feed them and maybe give them a few beverages.
 
#18
Time to sit down and explain the facts of life to them both. The longer it goes on, the harder it will be to let them down.

Tell them how it is and what you can sensibly afford.


If you can't bring yourself to do that, tell your daughter you saw her chap with a Major Padre! :D
 
#19
You could always get one of the ARRSE maidens to call your daughter up and say he has been giving her one on the side. I'm sure a few quid to hols for heroes would facilitate this hey presto wedding off
No need to thank me
 

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