We only respond to incidents

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by archer, Jul 27, 2009.

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  1. Late Saturday evening I was shooting on the farm where I work.
    Boss was away but the manager was oddjobbing.

    2 ways in but just one through road (a sort of loop)- 1 passed the house the other via a padlocked gate.

    Manager sets off home and finds the padlock missing- had been cut off.

    We have been robbed several times- 500 litres red diesel/tools/chainsaws so we thought this was someone preping a job.

    15 miles from Maidstone and 3 from a small town with a police station- civvy manned 9-4:30 Mon to Fri and now it seems not even used as a tea stop.

    Rang the police and,
    They gave a crime number for the missing padlock.
    Did we want anything else? they asked.

    Well we think some villiany is afoot, can a patrol look in if it's passing?

    Oh no sir, we don't patrol anymore, we just respond to incidents. I suggest you get your staff to keep an eye open overnight.

    Oh ha bloody ha!

    Blocked the road as best we could but someone still thieved a big sit on mower.

    Thought the police prevented/detected crime and kept the peace?

    I doubt a passing patrol would have done any good but hey sorting drunks in Maidstone is an "incident" so gets priority.

    With instructions like that it's no wonder there is little faith in the force- sorry service!
  2. The Police collate crime statistics, a prevented crime is not a statistic and therefore any effort expended on it is a waste of resources, you were in a way lucky as if they had turned up you would have been jumping through hoops trying to prove you had permission to shoot on the land.
  3. Poor. I humbly apologise on behalf on the bean counters that are more numerous than actual bobbies these days.
  4. Buy yourself some big fcuk off pigs(the other kind :twisted: ).

    Prep a good old fashioned OP React. Slot the next load of Pikie cnuts who try to nick anything.

    Feed remains to pigs.

    Job done! :wink:
  6. Sadly this is not new - not only is a prevented crime a poor statistic, the coppers are forced to prioritise city/town centre disorder as this supposedly affects a greater number of people.

    Very similar to the problems in Avon & Somerset where I live.

    Farming just ain't sexy as far as the bean counters are concerned. Its a great shame as I really don't think this is the way the coppers want to handle things. Our local PCSO is as helpful as he can be but complains bitterly at how his and the real coppers hands are tied by form filling and eyecatching initiatives.

    The only recourse I can think of is to make a stink in the local media. Only problem is that this can easlily get you targetted further.
  7. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer

    You should know better Archer!

    Remote, battery operated IR CCTV units mounted discretely on buildings, up trees or whatever, covering routes in, routes out and possible parking spots.

    Admissable as evidence in court, or if you have someone in the know, the address of the burglar.

    I sell the latest hot-sh!t cameras from Cobra, Stealth-cam, and even the=at Deben dross if you really insist.
  8. old_fat_and_hairy

    old_fat_and_hairy LE Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    We have a chap up here in Cambs who would be more than willing to give advice and even assist on farm security. he is quite an authority on it. Now, where have I put his details? Ah, here it is. Mr Tony Martin, Bleak House Farm, Nr Wisbech, Cambs.
  9. Set up OP. Shoot the buggers in neck with a decent air rifle (preferably FAC). There's no way they are going to go whining to the local plod.

    Er... can you do ballistics checks on an air rifle pellet. What if you used a sabo?
  10. A friend of mine had similar trouble with their stable yard getting broken into .... her father bought a Llama... a massive, demented, sexually frutrated frothing beast.... Trevor (The Llama) has reduced the break ins to zero.... and has even "Held" (read trampled, mounted and squashed into the ground) suspects....
  11. If it wasn't for the fact that you named the area I would have thought this was a tale from my county. Sadly proactive patrol work is a thing of the past, certainly in my area, the restructuring of my farce has all but eliminated this important part of police work.

    What was it that Peel said?

    9.The test of police efficiency is the absence of crime and disorder, not the visible evidence of police action (or inaction in this case) in dealing with it

    Seems no-one from the Home Orifice or kACPO reads Peel anymore.
  12. old_fat_and_hairy

    old_fat_and_hairy LE Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

  13. I can confirm that Llama's are horrid spitty stampy nasty South american horror bags.

    Just make sure they don't fob you off with an Alpacca, they are just llama walts.
  14. Do what my daughters partner did he works as a groundsman for a company that looks after school sportsgrounds and some council playing fields. They had a spate of thefts of red deisel and it was costing them a fortune. All they did was get a new tank bury it in a new location in their yard and leave the old one where it was. They left some diesel in the old tank and added a few more ingredients, sand, dirt a bit of sugar and various other bits of crap. Said tank was raided a few days later, it's been several months now and they have had no more thefts.
  15. Although theft is not a problem where I live, I do have a rather toothy wild boar who has reasonably free range of a good area of land. Believe me, anyone who meets him at night does not want a repeat performance. Strange as he is a big soft pudding and only wants fed......... :twisted: