Was it just a one-night stand?

#1
Last night I went out and met a gorgeous, lovely girl at a club. We shouted in each other's ears for a bit, I bought her a few drinks and we ended up coming back to mine.

I don't normally do this, but we started getting close and we ended up making love. However, when I woke up in the morning she was gone. Strangely I'd been broken into at the same time - I reckon this wonderful young girl must have scared them off as they only had time to leave a stain on my curtains that smelt of tuna and had sh*t in my kettle, they'd not had a chance to take anything.

Anyway, when I tried calling her I must have taken her number down wrong cos I got the local chinky. I've managed to get her number from a friend of a friend and have tried calling her nearly 30times now and she doesn't answer. I've sent texts telling her I love her and how she's going to be the only one for me, and yet I've not heard back at all.

I really felt we had a connection, something special. I'm going to go back to where we met every day for as long as possible in the hope she may turn up again sometime and I can say I'm really sorry for taking her number down wrong.

I'm now consoling myself with ice-cream - she was so sweet and kind; she didn't even call me chubby.

Was it just a one-nighter? Could she have not felt the same connection I did? What do arrse think I should do?
 
#3
crabby said:
What do arrse think I should do?
Get yourself a barbed wire bonnet, douse yourself in benz and let us flick matches at you.

We will of course have the courtesy to hang your parents with piano wire in front of you as you burn as punishment for them spawning such a cnut.
 
#4
It sounds like true love Crabby, what flavour is your ice-cream?
 
#5
Did she give it to you good Crabby, nice and gentle like? Was she a caring lover? Did she use a 9 incher, or did she take the executive option of a 12 inch dong?

Just so long as you used a rubber, safe sex and all that mate. Don't want you getting pregnant.
 
#6
Tartan_Terrier said:
It sounds like true love Crabby, what flavour is your ice-cream?
"Chocolate Therapy"

It really is true love, I know I'm a bit needy but she was so nice to me and she slipped her entire hand up my bottom when we were making love.

I am slightly concerned that in the course of true love little Crabby has developed an unwell green tinge and a couple of warts mind.

She told me she was a pilot...
 
#7
crabby said:
Tartan_Terrier said:
It sounds like true love Crabby, what flavour is your ice-cream?
"Chocolate Therapy"

It really is true love, I know I'm a bit needy but she was so nice to me and she slipped her entire hand up my bottom when we were making love.

I am slightly concerned that in the course of true love little Crabby has developed an unwell green tinge and a couple of warts mind.

She told me she was a pilot...
Means she's really a tank trasporter driver in the Really Large Corps and is actually a dyke and you've just won her the pot in the how can pull a pig and shiit in their kettle compertition!
 
#8
Capt_Cuddlebunny said:
crabby said:
Tartan_Terrier said:
It sounds like true love Crabby, what flavour is your ice-cream?
"Chocolate Therapy"

It really is true love, I know I'm a bit needy but she was so nice to me and she slipped her entire hand up my bottom when we were making love.

I am slightly concerned that in the course of true love little Crabby has developed an unwell green tinge and a couple of warts mind.

She told me she was a pilot...
Means she's really a tank trasporter driver in the Really Large Corps and is actually a dyke and you've just won her the pot in the how can pull a pig and shiit in their kettle compertition!
Did she take advantage of me because I'm emotionally sensitive? She really was convincing that she flew for the red arrows and went out to Iraq at weekends to help out there.

I just can't stop thinking about her and can't imagine my life without her
 
#9
Did she slap you a la American Pie style shouting 'say my name, what's my name biatch!'? If not, I'm affraid its back to Lady Palmer and her 5 daughters for you Crabby old bean - that is until your knob falls of from the bint!
 
#11
It gets worse...

I'm late... I'm never late. I just did one of those hometests and it came up blue...
 
#12
Better get yourself booked in for a termination. Don't want you and your water-head child, being a drain on society.
 
#13
crabby said:
It gets worse...

I'm late... I'm never late. I just did one of those hometests and it came up blue...
If it's blue, that means the baby is dead. Trust me. That's the colour dead babies go. Blue

Blue being the colour of dead babies.

What?
 
#15
Death_Rowums said:
Better get yourself booked in for a termination. Don't want you and your water-head child, being a drain on society.
I might terminate it this time... I want a brown baby first. I'm trying to collect the entire multi-coloured set before I'm 25.

She's still not called :cry:

editted to add;
Is this how Pentwyn was born?
that's a bit harsh... my genes aren't that messed up....
 
#16
You've probably got AIDS too.
 
#19
People used to believe that life formed from inanimate materials. Indeed it was assumed that rats were born from rubbish, as they spent so much time in piles of it.

Doctrine wasn't born, she simply congealed from a collection of discarded tampons.
 
#20
crabby said:
Tartan_Terrier said:
It sounds like true love Crabby, what flavour is your ice-cream?
"Chocolate Therapy"

It really is true love, I know I'm a bit needy but she was so nice to me and she slipped her entire hand up my bottom when we were making love.

I am slightly concerned that in the course of true love little Crabby has developed an unwell green tinge and a couple of warts mind.

She told me she was a pilot...
Don't listen to them Crabby, the greener your bell-end is the more you're in love (it's true, I read it in a fortune cookie!).

Did you get crabs too?
 

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