Was I wrong?

At the pub earlier.Telly on,showing some of the guys at Bastion.Saw a Slop Jockey cutting up a cheesecake(?) Chav/Pikey fcukwit next to me says to his gang that they should be out "slotting the enemy"and not "sittin' about enjoying 'emselves,eatin' fancy cakes"
Now,I am not a hero,especially when outnumbered by 8 or 9 scabby yoofs.So I said nothing an left,but as I went through the car park,my door keys caught the side of Chief Gob's car.I then also accidentally let down all of his tyres.
Will I go to Hell,(again?)

 

No, you'll go to heaven for tea and medals

 

So you didn't also manage to accidentally kick up some gravel at the poor lad's car? Or better yet, trip over, put a hand out and accidentally rip a windscreen wiper off?

Oh, I'm sure you'll be fine in the eyes of the almighty one

 

Fair play to you. If these w*ankers were so bothered, why don't they join up and offer to cut the cheesecake themselves?

 

I bet you didn't.

 

Well done, Sir! I salute you....f*ck if they can't take a joke, once again you are to be commended on your self control and restraint in handling this situation.

 

Would I be too bold to assume that the Chief Gob, being in a pub and all, had been drinking and driving? If so, surely it would have been far more satisfying to wait until he attempted to drive home, and arranged a little dink with their car and yours.

Voila, one whiplash claim, time off work, and aforementioned tw*t gets a drink drive charge.

 

Perhaps a rag or a spud up the exhaust? I did that years ago to a TV Licencing Gestapo van once, the result was rather amusing.

 

I bet you write readers letters for Fiesta/Escort/Razzle* as well



Delete a necessary

 

Who me?

 

No, not you (I knew I should have quoted)

I didn’t say they weren’t real, you lot are jumping to conclusions based on you own opinions

 

Of course not, accidents happen my good man.

 

I keyed some twats car once...took me 3 years of his constant arrse licking antics to do it.
He tried to shaft me in a meeting once and failed miserably (My manager was ex services, and shot the git down big time). I told my brother what i had done. He said 'You should never key another blokes motor, no matter what'. I called him a tree hugging lefty..cos that is what he can be sometimes.
Your chavvy bloke in the pub wouldn't have thought twice about doing the dirty deed on yours if the boot was on the other foot.

Good drills fella !!