This morning I received a phone call from a gorgeous ex-girlfriend who called 'out-of-the-blue' to see if I was still around. We lost track of time, chatting about the wild, romantic times we used to enjoy together. I couldn't believe it when she asked if I'd be interested in meeting up and rekindling a little of that "old magic". "Wow!" I was flabbergasted. "I don't know if I could keep pace with you now", I said, "I'm a bit older and a bit grayer and balder than when you last saw me. Plus I don't really have the energy I used to have." She just giggled and said she was sure I would "rise to the challenge". "Yeah." I said. "Just so long as you don't mind a man with a waistline that's a few inches wider these days! Not to mention my total lack of muscle tone...everything is sagging, my teeth are a bit yellowed and I am developing jowls like a Great Dane!" She laughed and told me to stop being so silly. She teased me saying that tubby grey haired older men were cute, and she was sure I would still be a great lover. Anyway, she giggled, "I've put on a few pounds myself!" So I told her to f ** k off.