Was I physically assaulted or should I just forget about it?

#1
This afternoon in a crowded park that has been recently been made for SMALL children I had a 14 year old kid throw a leather football straight at me (he was about 8foot away) and really violently after I asked him to leave the park and play his aggressive game of catch somewhere else (there was only 70 other acres of park to choose from).

He had just knocked someone elses 3 year old over with the ball and was throwing it around way too hard in such a small spacce. I was with my five and three year old kids and he had previously just missed my little girl.

By the way, only one parent out of a packed park asked me if I was ok.

My arm is really bloody sore, three eye witnesses seen him do it, but for some reason I feel like I shouldn't have called the police. (He was at the same time hurling abuse and to be honest I felt quite intimidated.).

Was I right to ask him to leave?

Should I not have brought my kids in to the play area because he was there and being so rough in the first place?

Should I have called the police? (I am still waiting for them to come and take a statement)

I really don't know .... so any clarity would be quite appreciated. :?

Oh yeah and he just punched another kid straight in the face apparently. Had I have known this little gem maybe I would have gone to another park - but should I have to do that :?:

I just don't know what kind of world we live in anymore.
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#4
Yes. You were right to call the police, nothing of any great import may happen, but it is right and proper that it should be recorded.
And, you should not feel that you should not have taken your children there in the first place. That gives validation to his bullying behaviour.
I understand and appreciate how you feel, and that it was a frightening experience, but if we give in to the mindless youths, to the feral scum that pervade our lives, then we carry on losing, until we become prisoners in our own houses.
The lack of concern and help from other parents is yet another example of bystander-apathy. A syndrome that corrupts and corrodes our lives. I am old enough to recall the days that if this had happened - and thanks to vigilant and strict park-keepers it rarely dis - then other parents and adults would have been outraged and acted accordingly.
I am sorry, on behalf of humanity, that this happened to you, and I hope it does not sour you for giving your children the freedom they deserve.
 
#5
You're better of calling the police to be honest, it'll probably take a while for them to get to you as it is Saturday Afternoon into the evening and they'll be busy.

As there is no further danger to yourself it will probably be prioritised as routine.

If you have any visible injuries its a good idea to take a photo of them as this is good evidence.

No the little twot had no right to behave in that manner so your were right to challenge him like that, it's a pity more don't instead of letting undisciplined little bar stewards run riot.
 
#6
Apparently the police will be in contact over the next 48 hours. If he had punched me would they take it more seriously?? I think so.

Just really glad mr petite wasn't there because he would have ended up in serious trouble over the little git.

Do I chase up the police about this or not bother if they don't come back. I am legitimately in a bit of discomfort with the arm, so am not just able to forget it at the moment..... :( But feel like a total mong for wanting something to be done.
 
#9
sparkylass said:
Perhaps asking about this in the NAAFI you won't get the reponses you seek 8O ...however..you have done nothing wrong (from what you have told us)..you have every reason to feel upset and angry and yes of course you have been physically assaulted, and further- let down by those other adults around you.
There is always a cost for standing up against bad behaviour...and in women that price is often being made to feeling guilty, to blame for being 'too much' somehow, in the wrong ..and as though you shouldn't have made a scene.
Fact is that every single grown man who was in that park with you 'should' have gone into protective mode and disciplined that teenage lad and made clear to him that he was out of line. The other women there should have supported you- but they didn't. Women have lost their way too.
For these men to have stood by and watched you as a woman and a mother confront him and continue to stand idly by as he hurt you just shows how bad things have become in our society.
We have cut men's balls off and also pushed women into situations that they should never face. The sexes rarely know what's expected of them in these situations any more.
You did well showing a spine where most have none. But you will need to pick your battles wisely in the future as standing up for yourself and other's is wearing.
It's perfectly reasonable for you to be feeling shaken by this incident.
A hot bubblebath, a rom com dvd and a bar of chocolate may be the way forward tonight? Well done :)
My bold. Unfortunately, we are no longer able to disipline other peoples kids for fear of being arrested or accused of being a kiddie fiddler.

Second point, please dont use that phrase, arrgh!! :wink:

Ski.
 
#10
Absolutely right in what you did. Going elsewhere or ignoring that sort of behaviour is allowing the bully to win - not only wrong in itself, but a bad and possibly harmful example for your youngsters to see. If they encounter bullying later in life, how will they cope effectively with it if they have a precident of "mummy runs from 14 year olds"?

As for reporting to the police, my personal belief is that every incident of this sort should be reported regardless of whether or not there will be a "satisfactory" outcome. Some may argue that it wastes (badly needed) police time recording this sort of thing but, as long as it's NOT recorded, some "interested parties" can continue to claim that things are improving, and will have statistics to "prove" it.

This sort of pervasive, low-level, criminality probably has a much greater effect on most people's quality of life than all the burglaries / armed robberies / murders etc put together yet it goes largely unacknowledged. That will only change when people start reporting it regularly and making it a matter of record!
 
#11
petite_butsweet said:
I just don't know what kind of world we live in anymore.
One that is not fit for humans now, I fear.

He is suffering from a common youthful delusion that he is hard, because he hasn't yet gone beyond his shallow part of the gene pool. Once upon a time someone's Dad would have chinned him. His own dad would have belted him when he found out, the police would have told him to clear off and cracked him one over the skull if he didn't. Now everyone's scared he might have a knife, anyone giving him a well-deserved slap will get charged along with, or instead of, him and the police are swamped with pointless paperwork so that they rarely venture beyong their desks.

You've been assaulted.
What happens now is that the civvy police are work-dodging barstewards; unless they've got his identity and statements from several reliable witnesses and CCTv footage, they can't do anything. However, they will be looking for any excuse to avoid doing anything. Expect total disinterest.
 
#12
I agree that you shouldn't teach your kids to run away.

Problem is my little boy (who is a sensitive, thoughtful wee chap at the best of times) calls me "the rescuer". I am the one with the kiss on the sore knee, the advice about a problem or just a new battery for his remote control car. And because Dad is always away the role of protector is very much mine. But today, he JUST missed (thank God) seeing Mummy needing rescuing (he had just run in a different direction). What on earth would that have done for him - to see the one person who is there to look after him day to day be assaulted?

I can't believe that I feel this upset about something like this. But it's just that it seems like somewhere that should be safe isn't, in a town that is supposed to be rural and with kids who are supposed to be reasonably ok and aren't.
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#15
spunkymonkey said:
Absolutely right in what you did. Going elsewhere or ignoring that sort of behaviour is allowing the bully to win - not only wrong in itself, but a bad and possibly harmful example for your youngsters to see. If they encounter bullying later in life, how will they cope effectively with it if they have a precident of "mummy runs from 14 year olds"?

As for reporting to the police, my personal belief is that every incident of this sort should be reported regardless of whether or not there will be a "satisfactory" outcome. Some may argue that it wastes (badly needed) police time recording this sort of thing but, as long as it's NOT recorded, some "interested parties" can continue to claim that things are improving, and will have statistics to "prove" it.

This sort of pervasive, low-level, criminality probably has a much greater effect on most people's quality of life than all the burglaries / armed robberies / murders etc put together yet it goes largely unacknowledged. That will only change when people start reporting it regularly and making it a matter of record!
Absolutely right!
Some years ago, a series of surveys were carried out on behalf of my (then) police force, one survey asked the general public what they thought the role of the police should be, what the priorities in policing should be. The other asked the same question of the bobbies. Results were interesting. Public wanted all the petty nuisannces that affect their lives to be a priority. Drunken and loutish behaviour, cycles on footpaths, litter, dogs roaming, speeding in town, and parking on footpath, And lots more in a similar vein.
Response from bobbies? Armed robbery. Murder. Arson. Terrorism.
Now, while these are heinous crimes, they actually, in real terms, affect very few people, and are still quite rare. Certainly not common in a small and well-ordered University city, but the other stuff, the dross. That is what causes common people sleepless nights and heartache.
 
#16
petite_butsweet said:
I agree that you shouldn't teach your kids to run away.

Problem is my little boy (who is a sensitive, thoughtful wee chap at the best of times) calls me "the rescuer". I am the one with the kiss on the sore knee, the advice about a problem or just a new battery for his remote control car. And because Dad is always away the role of protector is very much mine. But today, he JUST missed (thank God) seeing Mummy needing rescuing (he had just run in a different direction). What on earth would that have done for him - to see the one person who is there to look after him day to day be assaulted?

I can't believe that I feel this upset about something like this. But it's just that it seems like somewhere that should be safe isn't, in a town that is supposed to be rural and with kids who are supposed to be reasonably ok and aren't.
I wouldn't worry about what he would have thought as you seem to have stood your ground and put the little scrote in his place.
 
#17
There were actually three men in the playground at the time. Not sure if they noticed though. One little asian fella and two big and burly looking guys.

Police have got names of 3 witnesses and they also know what school he is "supposed" to go to. Problem is they are three teenage girls.

I am hoping he is known to the police and maybe if he has an ASBO already or something it may be enough to tip the balance of his freedom.

But at what point in life do you feel that you have the right to do shit like that?
 
#18
Shouldn't be at any point! Trouble is teens feel they have nothing and no-one to fear these days.I make it my duty to remind them that they have. I come in for a fair few comments from mouthy teens when out running so the other day decided to about turn and confront a group of 5 of them.Don't know if it was the shock of someone standing up to them or that close up they realised I was head and shoulders above all of them but there was a group of murmured apologies before I let them shuffle off.Really p'd off as it added a good 3 minutes to my run time.
 
#19
petite_butsweet said:
I agree that you shouldn't teach your kids to run away.

Problem is my little boy (who is a sensitive, thoughtful wee chap at the best of times) calls me "the rescuer". I am the one with the kiss on the sore knee, the advice about a problem or just a new battery for his remote control car. And because Dad is always away the role of protector is very much mine. But today, he JUST missed (thank God) seeing Mummy needing rescuing (he had just run in a different direction). What on earth would that have done for him - to see the one person who is there to look after him day to day be assaulted?
What it would have done is to show him one of life's less pleasant lessons - that, sometimes, standing up for what you believe is right will get you hurt. But it would also have taught him an even more valuable lesson - that the fear of getting hurt should never stop you from standing up for what you believe is right. Well done, and if it weren't t'internet, the bottle of wine to go with that bubble bath, dvd and choccies would be on me (and Mrs SM, who - luckily for the teenager - shares the same sense of standing up for what's right) :)
 
#20
halomonkey said:
Shouldn't be at any point! Trouble is teens feel they have nothing and no-one to fear these days.I make it my duty to remind them that they have. I come in for a fair few comments from mouthy teens when out running so the other day decided to about turn and confront a group of 5 of them.Don't know if it was the shock of someone standing up to them or that close up they realised I was head and shoulders above all of them but there was a group of murmured apologies before I let them shuffle off.Really p'd off as it added a good 3 minutes to my run time.
Well it really has cemented for me the fact that immigrating is the best possible thing. If this is the future of my home town then I don't want to see it happen.

I will call the police tomorrow morning or go down to the station to give a statement myself and then that way they have to do something. I think/ hope...........
 

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