It has come to my notice that a company trading under the above title has started advertising its services in the Poole area, as follows: Dear Shareholders, As you know the cornerstone of the company's marketing strategy was the CEO's business card, embossed with the company mission statement "Tapping Independent Traders - we shift your shit!" Unfortunately the Philistines responsible for selling advertising space in the Daily Echo, declined to accept this form of words as an advert in the Man and Van section of business services. We have therefore moved our business to the Rubbish and Skips section, where with no trace of irony, the advert now reads (in bold) "WE DUMP YOUR LOAD". Detractors have tried to tell us that this is a euphemism for defecation, but I have told them they're talking shit. Business is expected to pick up shortly. www.PooleVanMan.co.uk I don't know how I can [recommend] / [warn anyone against] the use of this organisation more urgently, other than to say that they'll scoop up your poo faster than anyone else in the trade. Only brown wipey marks will remain, and they'll smell of roses. ...And for a former scooper of the highest class of poo in Londonderry, that's pretty good going.