Warning: Some might not find this funny

Discussion in 'Armed Forces Jokes' started by BANDSMAN69, Sep 13, 2010.

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  1. Three american soldiers were asked to see their commander (their boss that is) because they did very well on their last job.

    The commander says: "Soldiers, the President of the United States has decided to give you a special gratification due to your good work. You will be measured and for each measured centimeter you will be given 1000$. "

    The first soldier steps forward and the commander asks him: "Soldier, how would you like me to measure you?"
    The soldier answers "Sir, from my feet up to my hair, sir!"
    The commander measures the soldier and hands him 185000$.

    Then the commander asks the second soldier how he would like to be measured. The second soldier thinks: 'Well, I guess if he asks me how I want to be meaured, then I can top that.'
    So the second soldier streches out his left arm to the sky and answers: "Sir, from my feet up to my fingertips, Sir!"
    The commander does the measuring and hands the soldier 235000$.

    Then the third soldier, a black sergeant from the Mississippi-Delta who has seen many battlefields is asked how he wanted to be measured.
    The sergeant answers "Sir, from the top of my dick to my bollocks, Sir!"
    The commander is surpristed and asks: "Are you quite sure?"
    The sergeant answers: "Sir, yes, Sir!"
    So the commander asks the sergeant to get out his penis and his bollocks. The sergeant does so and the commander starst to measure.
    Then the commander looks up and asks "But where are your bollocks?"
    And the sergeant answers: "Sir, in Vietnam, Sir!"
  2. has been done much better before! :x
  3. Look, mate, I am sorry. But I had to translate it because I speak german and english is a foreign language for me. It is still funny, though, I think.
  4. my daughter has told me better! :roll:
  5. dude chilax i think its a funny joke! :)
  6. The dogs ballocks me thinks....
  7. Heard an old Major tell that one and I laughed then as I did just...Hard and fast.