CLASSIC QUOTE : A quote from Sky News (probably!) "Umm Qasr is a city similar to Southampton," UK defence minister Geoff Hoon said in The Commons yesterday. "He's either never been to Southampton, or he's never been to Umm Qasr" says a British Squaddie patrolling Umm Qasr. Another soldier added: "There's no beer, no prostitutes and people are shooting at us. It's more like Portsmouth."