WANTED: People up for a fruity job.

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Country_Bumpkin, Jun 28, 2006.

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  1. The following little gem appeared on page 3 of freebie daily rag Metro today:

    Comments fellow Arrsers please.
  2. Does it still work if you have had the snip? Will be able to do Mrs BigUn an apple necklace!
  3. How do I contact them?!?!?!?!
  4. Being a sad singly.....any women out there want to help out in a little experiment? :twisted:

    Sorry, couldn't resist the free advertising :oops:
  5. If they did it in chocolate flavour us blokes would be well in there!
  6. Talking of Fruity Spunk, did you hear the one about the bloke who goes into the Patents office and presents an apple for a Patent?

    The Patents Officer takes it off the inventor and says, 'I can't Patent that, its an apple - they're commonly available,'

    'Not so,' says the inventor, 'Take a bite.' And so the Patents Officer takes a bite. 'Um Strawberry!'

    'That's right, now turn it and take another bite!'

    'Cherry' and another turn, 'Banana'; 'Ginnip,' 'Orange' and so on until the Patent officer is back to Strawberry.

    'Well what do you think?' asks the inventor.

    Much to the inventors disappointment the Patents officer says, 'Sorry, can't Patent it - all these fruits are commercially available!'

    Just as the inventor is going through the door the Patents Officer waspishly calls after him, 'If you could make that taste like a woman I'd Patent it!'

    Four years later a knock on the door announces the inventor who walks in with another apple.

    'It can't be...... not after all this time........can it?'

    'It certainly is, go on take a bite!!'

    So encouraged our Patents Officer takes a well big bite, chews on the wedge filling his gob and announces loudly , 'Ugh Sh*t!'

    Like I said before...................'Turn it'!
  7. Theres a few posting in the NAAFI that would lend theirselves for a few pence. PM me for the gory details and payment options :lol: :lol:
  8. The 2nd ex Mrs Fez always swore that drinking pineapple juice made my spuff taste fruity, she loved it. My tip, drink a litre of Delmonte a day and your plums will rarely feel neglected. :D
  9. Drinking sweet fruity drinks does change the taste as i have run that experiment with me and Mrs S_D as the Guineapigs.
    Dont drink lime or kiwi
  10. What, normal apple flavour? Try crab apple and I'd be up for it. That's a facial expression I'd like to see.
  11. Dare I ask why? I hope it didnt turn things green! :eek:
  12. While we're in the vein of fruity fellatio gags, one of my best chat up lines:

    Do you like fruit darling? If so you can suck my cock, it's a peach.
  13. Can they do owt for scat lovers, im getting tired of the same old s.hite?
  14. A good curry the night before with plenty of sweetcorn and peanuts in it!!!! Yum
  15. don't the other singlies want to play then :?: :?: :?: :?: