WANTED: People up for a fruity job.

#1
The following little gem appeared on page 3 of freebie daily rag Metro today:

An internet sex shop is looking for people to test a pill that, ahem, 'makes your sexual fluids taste fruity'. LoveHoney.co.uk is offering £200 for couples to take the pills twice daily and give a blow-by-blow (spot the gag?) account online. The Sweet Release Oral Sex Enhancement pills come in two flavours - apple for men and lemon for women. Its makers, US-based Blue Mountain Neutrceutical, claims it will make 'your semen change from salty to a delicious apple taste'. While the 100% herbal supplement has passed safety tests, LoveHoney said it needs to try out the stock. 'We have just started selling them and we want to make sure they work,' spokeswoman Ali Carnegie said. They are looking for couples who are up for the job despite the low pay. 'People should really do this for love,' Ms Carnegie added.
Comments fellow Arrsers please.
 
#2
Does it still work if you have had the snip? Will be able to do Mrs BigUn an apple necklace!
 
#3
How do I contact them?!?!?!?!
 
#4
Being a sad singly.....any women out there want to help out in a little experiment? :twisted:




Sorry, couldn't resist the free advertising :oops:
 
#5
If they did it in chocolate flavour us blokes would be well in there!
 
#6
Talking of Fruity Spunk, did you hear the one about the bloke who goes into the Patents office and presents an apple for a Patent?


The Patents Officer takes it off the inventor and says, 'I can't Patent that, its an apple - they're commonly available,'

'Not so,' says the inventor, 'Take a bite.' And so the Patents Officer takes a bite. 'Um Strawberry!'

'That's right, now turn it and take another bite!'

'Cherry' and another turn, 'Banana'; 'Ginnip,' 'Orange' and so on until the Patent officer is back to Strawberry.

'Well what do you think?' asks the inventor.

Much to the inventors disappointment the Patents officer says, 'Sorry, can't Patent it - all these fruits are commercially available!'

Just as the inventor is going through the door the Patents Officer waspishly calls after him, 'If you could make that taste like a woman I'd Patent it!'

Four years later a knock on the door announces the inventor who walks in with another apple.

'It can't be...... not after all this time........can it?'

'It certainly is, go on take a bite!!'

So encouraged our Patents Officer takes a well big bite, chews on the wedge filling his gob and announces loudly , 'Ugh Sh*t!'

Like I said before...................'Turn it'!
 
#7
AF1771 said:
Being a sad singly.....any women out there want to help out in a little experiment? :twisted:
Theres a few posting in the NAAFI that would lend theirselves for a few pence. PM me for the gory details and payment options :lol: :lol:
 
#8
The 2nd ex Mrs Fez always swore that drinking pineapple juice made my spuff taste fruity, she loved it. My tip, drink a litre of Delmonte a day and your plums will rarely feel neglected. :D
 
#9
Drinking sweet fruity drinks does change the taste as i have run that experiment with me and Mrs S_D as the Guineapigs.
Dont drink lime or kiwi
 
#11
Scottie_Dogg said:
Drinking sweet fruity drinks does change the taste as i have run that experiment with me and Mrs S_D as the Guineapigs.
Dont drink lime or kiwi
Dare I ask why? I hope it didnt turn things green! :eek:
 
#12
While we're in the vein of fruity fellatio gags, one of my best chat up lines:

Do you like fruit darling? If so you can suck my cock, it's a peach.
 
#14
Cait said:
Can they do owt for scat lovers, im getting tired of the same old s.hite?
A good curry the night before with plenty of sweetcorn and peanuts in it!!!! Yum
 
#15
AF1771 said:
Being a sad singly.....any women out there want to help out in a little experiment? :twisted:




Sorry, couldn't resist the free advertising :oops:
don't the other singlies want to play then :?: :?: :?: :?:
 
#16
thats ok if you can get the girl to take it in the mouth, being married i have more chance of getting a blow off princess diana and she's been dead nine years, i'll get my coat :lol:
 
#17
Country_Bumpkin said:
The following little gem appeared on page 3 of freebie daily rag Metro today:

An internet sex shop is looking for people to test a pill that, ahem, 'makes your sexual fluids taste fruity'. LoveHoney.co.uk is offering £200 for couples to take the pills twice daily and give a blow-by-blow (spot the gag?) account online. The Sweet Release Oral Sex Enhancement pills come in two flavours - apple for men and lemon for women. Its makers, US-based Blue Mountain Neutrceutical, claims it will make 'your semen change from salty to a delicious apple taste'. While the 100% herbal supplement has passed safety tests, LoveHoney said it needs to try out the stock. 'We have just started selling them and we want to make sure they work,' spokeswoman Ali Carnegie said. They are looking for couples who are up for the job despite the low pay. 'People should really do this for love,' Ms Carnegie added.
Comments fellow Arrsers please.
Low pay? I'd do it for free damn you!
 
#19
Forget your magic pills, and try these handy home remedies, available at your local supermarket.

Lucozade (must be all the glucose) and fresh pineapple juice (all the natural sugars). And no, I didn't do the taste test myself...

M
 

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