Wanted - Girlfriend

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Does exactly what it says on the tin.

Wrong forum, but a refreshing advertisement in Classified Ads!
Works out in the long run if you get a hooker.

Just think no nagging

All she wants to do is have sex then leave.

No nagging

Doesnt whinge about kids/starting a family.

No nagging

you dont have to meet her family for sunday dinners

No nagging

Doesnt take you to the cleaners if you split up with her, as you can just find yourself a new model or even have a different one every night of the week!!
All relationships are a form of prostitution, as well known.

Don't get me wrong, it is a total pain in the arrse having a chick, but it is about time I got one. Bored and fancy the challenge. Anyone up for it?
No - apart from which, I am male... But thank you for the kind offer..... (haven´t you any cleaners in the mess?).
I can drink myself into oblivion, be really arrogant and generally mistreat you. Oh, and I'm also honest!
Tried Speed Dating - Didn't work. It was on R&R from Iraq and by the time I got back the only one that wasn't a nutter had a bloke.

Tried dating website - Shite. All civvies.

Trying arrse.

There's always hope (but not much)!
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