WANTED: female (SAA trained if poss...)


1 x Female
into outdoors type stuff,
can strip the feed pawls out of a GPMG
good tent and general admin
able to drink stella and enjoy port
must also be socialy presentable (tattoos and piercings hidden)

Good Shag.......
Well I can vouch for that, apart from the last bit , cos we is mates , (no tongues)

Here SB, don't tell him you're probably a better shot than he is, it makes mens todgers go small  ;D
Oh, and take all your silverware out of the bedroom too, it can be detrimental to a blokes performance.

So you stuck for an escort for the Ball then?  ;D
So snipes, you can tend to a lightly oiled weapon, luckily I practise alot on my own and have managed to sort the hair trigger.

I have a problem with sheathing my weapon and prefer it left out to the elements, no matter how moist the surroundings, makes for a better blast from the muzzle when it goes off
Ignore DoNut, he is lying. Only this week he was supposed to turn up with 2 x 12 gauges, a 5.56, a 7.62, a .50 pistol and a Milan (we were, after all, hunting pesky wabbits).

instead, he appeared with a rusty .22 Daisy air rifle (for which he made me pay for the “ammo”), in the guise of a 'nam M16, spouting the excuse that the thought police had robbed him of his firepower due to the implant in his head giving away our secret plan to assassinate Bill Oddie for his continued support of hedgehogs.

The only thing Donut knows about weapons is from the arcade version of Resident Evil, and I had to pay for that as well ;)


1 x Female, low maintainance, GSOH, OHAC... :p
Likes fresh air and certain outdoor "pursuits"
Admin.....depends on time of day!
Has "Special Relationship" with Stella.
Scrubs up when needed...piercings? I have enough holes!  ;) 1 tattoo, but discreet!
Good when in front of parents and siblings  ;D

Lose points over the GPMG, but what you lose here you gain in the "Good Shag" requirement! (Well, I think so!)

And Im single why........??!


And Im not a BAD shot, but certainly not good enough to give anyone performance anxiety!  
A-R-O, do you have an inheritance?

Ah what the hell!  You can have me anytime.  I'm sure you can help me to improve my shot ;)



No inheritance that i know of, unless ive got a mad old aunty shacked up in a big house full of cats somewhere stinking of wee, who's gonna pop her clogs and leave it all to me............

Unlikely I'm afraid......... :-/


I can help you improve your shot Mr Comical.  

Ok, step 1 -

take the safety catch off      ;D
I never could follow the Marksmanship Principles.  I've always thought my rifle was an area weapon ;D
Be careful wondering around with a loaded weapon with the safety off, Ive had a couple go off prematurely in NI, luckily no was around to report it could have done the street cred a bit of damage. Not so jurky now I’m back on the mainland.

Single and Ready

Ready, Aim, Fire!


seriously though lads, what constitutes good girlfriend material....???

Please dont just say big t*ts and no morals!!  ;D


It'll be big jugs...... a mouth that could suck the juice out of a lemon ( better bj's)..... a nice tight 'flower'..... faithful to her man and never nags him..... has the beer chilled for when he arrives home..... gives him a massage cuz he's had a hard day at work..... cooks him a fabulous meal, then allows him to do what he wants with her (including indulging other females).

Basically a fcuking fantasy woman - CUZ THEY DON'T EXIST!! And if she does, she wants to get his thumb off her forehead and get a fcuking life!!!


Now what you really want boys - is a female who will enjoy a pint or two with you, shoot a few games of pool, have a laugh with you and your mates and then when she gets home - gives you a good rogering!!!

Yes lads - there are some of us out there!!! 8)


hear hear sniper bird, we must be cut from the same cloth, me and you!  ;D

Im still single though....!  :-/


me too......best way to be, at least we don't have to put up with men who want to know where we've been and what we've been up to and ask us 'why were you looking at that man at the bar?'.

I enjoy being single, you can have a laugh and a beer with the lads, flirt if you want to and don't have to worry about anyone else.... and when you want a little action, you just simply go and choose your victim.


Singledoms got its benefits, like no fighting for the duvet or a bit of space in the bed, but (sorry any feminist man haters out there!) I think men are ace and I'd love one of my own! OOOOOOPS have I just typed that on here, there's my tuff image gone!  :-[

I dont even want all the hearts and flowers stuff (well, only on birthdays and special occasions!), just a top lad who is a bloody good laugh, mate, drinking partner, is up for mad stupid stuff and will put up with me! Nice to know someones got your back.....

Wow, its like Oprah isnt it!

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