• ARRSE have partnered with Armadillo Merino to bring you an ARRSE exclusive, generous discount offer on their full price range.
    To keep you warm with the best of Merino gear, visit www.armadillomerino.co.uk and use the code: NEWARRSE40 at the checkout to get 40% off!
    This superb deal has been generously offered to us by Armadillo Merino and is valid until midnight on the the 28th of February.

Wanktoys for weirdos.

Cutaway

LE
Kit Reviewer
#1
I thought I was pretty laid back. Broad-minded even.
Never been averse to coating the odd weasel in lube nor testing gas axes for their erotic uses.
I even thought that old Chrimbo film, "Eels for Pleasure" was a trg vid.
But then I was sent a web address, www.dribbling_clowns.com
Apparently for fans of Tolkien & similar.

Being the inquisitive type I ventured into the fora to see what sort of hot doris is into this, hoping for a flock of Angelina Jolie lookalikes.
I fecking wish I hadn't.
None of the cnuts are very well.
I reckon most of them are called Hank or Billy-Bob.
I'm pretty sure not many resemble Lara Croft either.


Not content with stuffing fairly regular items up their chuffs, these rôle-playing inbreds want to be shagged by mythical creatures ! 8O
They're not all off their rockers, one clever bugger cottoned onto this niche market and makes expensive dragon dicks with which the moonhowlers can shag whatever remains of their drug-addled brains out.
Kit like this:



The only saving grace or excuse for their bizarre pastime is that they all come from the land of the free, but I bet the Founding Fathers hadn't envisaged this bunch when they wrote out their amendments.
Some of these card-carrying cretins actually believe themselves to be dragons in human guise, which only proves the DEA aren't pulling their weight.


Still, it puts a whole new meaning on "Puff The Magic Dragon."




ps. All females who don't have a boat like a bucket of smashed crabs and need some dragon lurve send applications via PM.
 
Last edited:
#2
Warm and pulsing with his arousal, this dragon leaves his riders begging for more - and loving every minute of it. He's a great intermediate user's toy - the head is fun to use for beginners, and the knot provides an ongoing and pleasurably challenge as you as you practice.


The first of our toys to feature our innovative cumtube, the Drippy Dragon is ideally suited for a beginner who wants a toy that will be interesting and fun to use regardless of their ongoing experiences..

Measuring 2 inches across his head, 2.5 inches wide across the knot and 7 inches of usable length, he is sure to keep you warm on those cold winter nights...

Full Dimensions:
Diameter of head (side to side): 2 Inches
Circumference of cockhead: 6 Inches
Diameter of shaft behind head: 1.5 Inches
Circumference of shaft behind head: 5.25 Inches
Diameter of knot: 2.5 Inches
Circumference of knot: 8 Inches
Diameter of shaft behind knot: 2 Inches
Circumference of shaft behind knot: 6 Inches
Usable Length: 8 Inches
Total Length: 9 Inches



Oh dear...im quite freaked out by all that. Might see if Mrs KeepCalm would want one of these for our anniversary. It even manages to blow a wad of cum-lube...
 
#3


How can this not turn anybody on?

Edit: The forums are bloody epic.

Ok so I got my Ridgeback on Friday....and wow. When I opened the box and pulled it out I was filled with excitement ((who wouldn't be right??)) ^^. I had to wait to use it until Monday though, and my what a weekend that was...lol. So Monday finally came.....and I was about ready to explode when I got home from school.....I dashed to my room, grabbed Mr. Ridgey, and headed off to the bathroom for a long time ;).

**skips the boring shit...**

Ok so now that I was all cleaned out and lubed up, ready to go. I slowly started to push him into me, and mmmuuuuurrrrr! It felt sooo good, Once you get past the head, those ridges sure to make for a nice ride ^^. As I started to take more and more of him, I felt the slight "knot" (if thats what you want to call it) beginning to go in, and once it was....well the feeling is just amazing. The thickness of it lets you tie up nicely with him, and gives you a nice full feeling. And once you start to ride him, you really RIDE HIM. When I felt the whole length of him sliding in and out of me like that, I just lost myself. And although it may not be the super soft material, it still feels great. I know I will be enjoying him for many years to come ;)

Plus all this great feeling, mixed with my imagination....well....I actually got so lost in the play that I thought there was a real dragon there **blushes** I wish right....

So all in all, I totally reccommend this one, IF you can take the thickness......the head is nice though, it makes me feel like im being stretched out, then it just slips in and lets the ridges go to work ^^.
 
#5
vampireuk said:


How can this not turn anybody on?

Edit: The forums are bloody epic.

Ok so I got my Ridgeback on Friday....and wow. When I opened the box and pulled it out I was filled with excitement ((who wouldn't be right??)) ^^. I had to wait to use it until Monday though, and my what a weekend that was...lol. So Monday finally came.....and I was about ready to explode when I got home from school.....I dashed to my room, grabbed Mr. Ridgey, and headed off to the bathroom for a long time ;).

**skips the boring s***...**

Ok so now that I was all cleaned out and lubed up, ready to go. I slowly started to push him into me, and mmmuuuuurrrrr! It felt sooo good, Once you get past the head, those ridges sure to make for a nice ride ^^. As I started to take more and more of him, I felt the slight "knot" (if thats what you want to call it) beginning to go in, and once it was....well the feeling is just amazing. The thickness of it lets you tie up nicely with him, and gives you a nice full feeling. And once you start to ride him, you really RIDE HIM. When I felt the whole length of him sliding in and out of me like that, I just lost myself. And although it may not be the super soft material, it still feels great. I know I will be enjoying him for many years to come ;)

Plus all this great feeling, mixed with my imagination....well....I actually got so lost in the play that I thought there was a real dragon there **blushes** I wish right....

So all in all, I totally reccommend this one, IF you can take the thickness......the head is nice though, it makes me feel like im being stretched out, then it just slips in and lets the ridges go to work ^^.
My bold, please tell me this is from a teacher ?!?!?!
 
#6
I also wish these people could fcuk dragons. I would like to watch the aftermath when said dragon gets bored and ends the lovers life with a well aimed burst of fire. What next? Short, hairy, stumpy Hobbit c0cks? Imagine that one. "As i pushed in the Hobbit Dildo i felt complete. It was like Bilbo was using me for his pleasure. I begged him to slip it in my precious". 8O
 
#9
Okay, before we even start, what you want to do is clean yourself out. I think it’s a fair assumption that MOST people on this site (if not all) are male in body, so it is assumed that you’ll be using your Bum, Rectum, or Tailhole (take your pick.)
The Mini Sea Dragon:
Size: Small
Firmness: Soft (3)
colour: Saint Patrick's Day Green
cumtube: No
suction cup: Yes
Notes: Head Broke off, got refund, gave toy away
Fcuk me sideways, only in the land of the Star Spangled Spanner.
 
#10
blackrat_scaleyback said:
I also wish these people could fcuk dragons. I would like to watch the aftermath when said dragon gets bored and ends the lovers life with a well aimed burst of fire. What next? Short, hairy, stumpy Hobbit c0cks? Imagine that one. "As i pushed in the Hobbit Dildo i felt complete. It was like Bilbo was using me for his pleasure. I begged him to slip it in my precious". 8O
Man, Don't ruin Lord of the Rings for me?!?! 8O :evil: :crying:
 
#11
blackrat_scaleyback said:
I also wish these people could fcuk dragons. I would like to watch the aftermath when said dragon gets bored and ends the lovers life with a well aimed burst of fire. What next? Short, hairy, stumpy Hobbit c0cks? Imagine that one. "As i pushed in the Hobbit Dildo i felt complete. It was like Bilbo was using me for his pleasure. I begged him to slip it in my precious". 8O
It's not called Lord of the Rings for nothing ;)
 
#15
brettarider said:
Just as sick but a bit more down to earth bet there's a few arrser's lurking around in there!
why do I do it, why, oh why? Never follow the link, it's just ferking wrong and the images are burnt on the insides of my eyelids!
 
#16
Cutaway said:
Being the inquisitive type I ventured into the fora to see what sort of hot doris is into this, hoping for a flock of Angelina Jolie lookalikes.
Are you sure there are any women on there? It looks more like a forum for blokes with an anal fixation. Taken from the Stretching for larger toys.

Step 1:

Okay, before we even start, what you want to do is clean yourself out. I think it’s a fair assumption that MOST people on this site (if not all) are male in body, so it is assumed that you’ll be using your Bum, Rectum, or Tailhole (take your pick.) Well, when it comes to anal play, Fecal matter is pretty much a fact of life, so clean yourself out as best you can, using whatever method you prefer. There are enemas, Laxatives, and just plain Pooping.
Oh joy........
 

Cutaway

LE
Kit Reviewer
#18
Stanley1975 said:
Cutaway said:
Being the inquisitive type I ventured into the fora to see what sort of hot doris is into this, hoping for a flock of Angelina Jolie lookalikes.
Are you sure there are any women on there? It looks more like a forum for blokes with an anal fixation. Taken from the Stretching for larger toys.

Step 1:

Okay, before we even start, what you want to do is clean yourself out. I think it’s a fair assumption that MOST people on this site (if not all) are male in body, so it is assumed that you’ll be using your Bum, Rectum, or Tailhole (take your pick.) Well, when it comes to anal play, Fecal matter is pretty much a fact of life, so clean yourself out as best you can, using whatever method you prefer. There are enemas, Laxatives, and just plain Pooping.
Oh joy........
I'd happily forgotten all about that site & now you bastards have brought the images back - bet the nightmares start again too.

However, to answer Stan, there are apparently tarts with no life, I mean, bints who are drugged out of their skulls, er, there are some ladies that fantasise about being shagged by fantasy reptiles.
(They should search on this site, there are enough of the cnuts here.)

This is allegedly written by a woman or dragoness or whatever they call themselves.
And for those who don't have to worry about NSFW stuff, in the thread called "Luna's Gryphon" the young lady concerned has supposedly posted some educational photos.
 
#19
Cutaway said:
Stanley1975 said:
Cutaway said:
Being the inquisitive type I ventured into the fora to see what sort of hot doris is into this, hoping for a flock of Angelina Jolie lookalikes.
Are you sure there are any women on there? It looks more like a forum for blokes with an anal fixation. Taken from the Stretching for larger toys.

Step 1:

Okay, before we even start, what you want to do is clean yourself out. I think it’s a fair assumption that MOST people on this site (if not all) are male in body, so it is assumed that you’ll be using your Bum, Rectum, or Tailhole (take your pick.) Well, when it comes to anal play, Fecal matter is pretty much a fact of life, so clean yourself out as best you can, using whatever method you prefer. There are enemas, Laxatives, and just plain Pooping.
Oh joy........
I'd happily forgotten all about that site & now you bastards have brought the images back - bet the nightmares start again too.

However, to answer Stan, there are apparently tarts with no life, I mean, bints who are drugged out of their skulls, er, there are some ladies that fantasise about being shagged by fantasy reptiles.
(They should search on this site, there are enough of the cnuts here.)

This is allegedly written by a woman or dragoness or whatever they call themselves.
And for those who don't have to worry about NSFW stuff, in the thread called "Luna's Gryphon" the young lady concerned has supposedly posted some educational photos.
Now we're getting somewhere.
 

Latest Threads