Wanking.

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by BiscuitsAB, Mar 23, 2012.

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  1. BiscuitsAB

    BiscuitsAB LE Moderator

    Yes I'll say it before you bunch of wankers. I'm a wanker. At least literally, hopefully not metaphorically in the eyes of my esteemed fellow Arrsers.

    However, I have a dilemma I've fucking broken it! I've done the equivalent of what eating a box of sugar puffs does the the roof of your mouth. I was bored Ok, so I had a wank, still bored so had a couple more. well i won't be doing it tonight or tomorrow that's for sure.

    As this is not the first time this has happened I've obviously got a training need and require some re-edumication. Tips and hints accepted, but offers of physical hands on learning will only be taken up if offered by female members preferably with nursing experience.

    So what's the way forward? one of those flesh lights ( slightly grim if you ask me ) or a cheap eastern European hooker on a block booking?

    I cast my dilemma to the court and await my learned colleagues sage advice!
     
  2. Would Swarfega help?
     
    • Like Like x 1
  3. Sometimes it's good to give it a rest for a week or so to allow the scabs to heal and drop off where you've rubbed the skin away. Even getting a chubby is eye watering when it gets to that stage.
     
  4. Only the gitty variety.
     
  5. Get a Labrador.Thats all I'm saying.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  6. And a jar of peanut butter?
     
  7. OP, have you actually broken your cock ? Or are you just shooting dust?
     
  8. Try reading this 'The Singing Detective' and you will pick up a few hints,,Also Skin Nurses do a good job.....
     
  9. Are you some kind of freak?
     
  10. BiscuitsAB

    BiscuitsAB LE Moderator

    I'm delighted that by broaching the subject that I have created an atmosphere in which the OP of the above thread feels comfortable in expressing their peccadillo. Fucking exhibitionist!
     
  11. Keep wanking through the pain barrier, eventually the sore red raw maggot that your pumping away on will cough up 'ought but a pathetic tear of clear fluid. Th e sensation will take a while to get used to, but plug on regardless!
    Of course by this time your desensitised to the standard porn and you'll be on the barely legal stuff or onto japanese whores puking on each other.
     
  12. Nowt wrong with introducing a jar of peanut butter when shagging the missus.......

    Crunchy of course!
     
  13. Poetic wanking.............nice :)
     
  14. When nature takes it's course and your cock either heals or drops off, providing it's the former try this handy tip. When next you wank, close your eyes and use the hand you do not normally use to wank. It feels like someone else is doing it. Let us all know how you get on, perhaps we could form a club.