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Wanking technique

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by wannabe_civvy, Jan 24, 2007.

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  1. wannabe_civvy

    wannabe_civvy Clanker

    A real opportunity to be creative like all good squaddies can be!!
    What's your favourite technique for polishing the meat barpump? I always think that a bit of baby oil and using your wrong hand is a winner!! :cyclopsani:
     
    wannabe_civvy, Jan 24, 2007
    #1
  2. ScaleyAlbereto

    ScaleyAlbereto LE

    Baby Oil & any of the wifes hands do it for me :headbang:
     
    ScaleyAlbereto, Jan 24, 2007
    #2
  3. AndyMcflab

    AndyMcflab Old-Salt

    I like to wear a nappy, 'cause I like the feeling of something warm and moist squelching away between my buttocks whilst I'm running around. The lubrication keeps chafing down to a minimum.
     
    AndyMcflab, Jan 24, 2007
    #3
  4. Outstanding

    Outstanding LE

    Your wife has great hands!
     
    Outstanding, Jan 24, 2007
    #4
  5. buggrit

    buggrit LE
    1. Engineers
    2. Millitary Masons

    A mate of mine swore blind that sticking an orange in your gob and then pulling a stocking over your head to get the asphixiation thing going on, made for an amazing w@nk. Never got around to trying.
     
    buggrit, Jan 24, 2007
    #5
  6. Giblets

    Giblets War Hero

    I'm a simple man with simple pleasures. W@nk furiously with either/both hands until a: I shout and holler whilst throwing my 'stuff' all over the walls or b: I shout and holler because the outer layer of skin has come off me piece and it's bleeding.
     
    Giblets, Jan 24, 2007
    #6
  7. Schaden

    Schaden LE Book Reviewer

    Schaden, Jan 24, 2007
    #7
  8. schweik

    schweik LE

    Any of? How many has she got?
     
    schweik, Jan 24, 2007
    #8
  9. pomps

    pomps LE

    pomps, Jan 24, 2007
    #9
  10. Outstanding

    Outstanding LE

    [quote :omfg: dude... issues... you have issues![/quote]

    No Tissues, Tissues
     
    Outstanding, Jan 24, 2007
    #10
  11. Barclays_Banker

    Barclays_Banker Old-Salt

    Tuck your old fella back between thighs and move hips back and forth. Hey presto, a no-hands barclays.
     
    Barclays_Banker, Jan 24, 2007
    #11
  12. RFUK

    RFUK LE

    RFUK, Jan 24, 2007
    #12
  13. Geordie_Blerk

    Geordie_Blerk

    Try using your son's or if really desperate, your daughter's mouth.
     
    Geordie_Blerk, Jan 24, 2007
    #13
  14. whit_RE

    whit_RE War Hero

    I find the mix of blood/saliva/shite/jizz that you end up with after a good ATM session provides the right mix of lubrication/traction for throwing one of the wrist...

    These properties also make it particularly good for skiffing...
     
    whit_RE, Jan 24, 2007
    #14
  16. Taz_786

    Taz_786 LE

    I cant do it standing up, no matter how hard I try.

    Whats the solution?
     
    Taz_786, Jan 24, 2007
    #15
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