Wanking technique

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by wannabe_civvy, Jan 24, 2007.

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  1. A real opportunity to be creative like all good squaddies can be!!
    What's your favourite technique for polishing the meat barpump? I always think that a bit of baby oil and using your wrong hand is a winner!! :cyclopsani:
  2. Baby Oil & any of the wifes hands do it for me :headbang:
  3. I like to wear a nappy, 'cause I like the feeling of something warm and moist squelching away between my buttocks whilst I'm running around. The lubrication keeps chafing down to a minimum.
  4. Your wife has great hands!
  5. A mate of mine swore blind that sticking an orange in your gob and then pulling a stocking over your head to get the asphixiation thing going on, made for an amazing w@nk. Never got around to trying.
  6. I'm a simple man with simple pleasures. W@nk furiously with either/both hands until a: I shout and holler whilst throwing my 'stuff' all over the walls or b: I shout and holler because the outer layer of skin has come off me piece and it's bleeding.
  7. Schaden

    Schaden LE Book Reviewer

  8. Any of? How many has she got?
  9. [quote :omfg: dude... issues... you have issues![/quote]

    No Tissues, Tissues
  10. Tuck your old fella back between thighs and move hips back and forth. Hey presto, a no-hands barclays.
  11. Try using your son's or if really desperate, your daughter's mouth.
  12. I find the mix of blood/saliva/shite/jizz that you end up with after a good ATM session provides the right mix of lubrication/traction for throwing one of the wrist...

    These properties also make it particularly good for skiffing...
  13. I cant do it standing up, no matter how hard I try.

    Whats the solution?