Wanking for Beginners

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Run_Charlie!, Mar 10, 2007.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. As a disciple of self love I often retreat to the masturbatorium for one on one onanistic pleasures. Anyone got some new techniques to try?

    Left handed, kneeling on the edge of the bog with a toilet roll tube, brillo pads? Open to all ideas
     
  2. getting out more?
     
  3. Find a woman?!?
     
  4. getting your mum to do it
     
  5. Buy a Fleshlite.!!
     
  6. Good thread this for a saturday morning in the shires. I was asked by a shrink once which I enjoyed most, shagging, w*nking or wet dreams. Wet dreams I replied with relish, Oh, said the shrink, perking up a bit, why is that. Well, I said, you get to meet a better class of person.
     
  7. That is so wrong...you seen the clip of my mum....
     
  8. Schaden

    Schaden LE Book Reviewer

    And if you do, don't name it after your g/f's very attractive best friend....
     
  9. Bit of lubrication might help, (ie) with Algipan or Deep Heat.

    BT.
     

  10. http://www.whysleep.co.uk/html/product.asp?pID=1284&cID=50
     
  11. Clip? can you PM me the link?
     
  12. Give yourself an enema, hold on till your bursting then do it in public, go back indoors the get off on how humiliating it was!!
     
  13. bang your balls on a cold sink just as your on the final strokes, bloke I knew swears by it. (the same bloke had most of his bathroom mirror tiled to "observe" himself, maybe that would help as well)
     
  14. try the hoover..
     
  15. Wedge two bits of raw liver in the gap of the radiator and biff away at that. I knew a Para who rated it very highly.