Wanking for Beginners

As a disciple of self love I often retreat to the masturbatorium for one on one onanistic pleasures. Anyone got some new techniques to try?

Left handed, kneeling on the edge of the bog with a toilet roll tube, brillo pads? Open to all ideas
getting out more?
Good thread this for a saturday morning in the shires. I was asked by a shrink once which I enjoyed most, shagging, w*nking or wet dreams. Wet dreams I replied with relish, Oh, said the shrink, perking up a bit, why is that. Well, I said, you get to meet a better class of person.
Bit of lubrication might help, (ie) with Algipan or Deep Heat.

Give yourself an enema, hold on till your bursting then do it in public, go back indoors the get off on how humiliating it was!!
bang your balls on a cold sink just as your on the final strokes, bloke I knew swears by it. (the same bloke had most of his bathroom mirror tiled to "observe" himself, maybe that would help as well)
cuchulain said:
Wedge two bits of raw liver in the gap of the radiator and biff away at that. I knew a Para who rated it very highly.
Or if your fantasizing and tugging off with the thought of someone over 40 - cook the liver first and smear tuna oil over it.

BT. :thumright:
the_matelot said:
Toilet roll insert and swarfega.
Tuf`n`ega is more hardcore, got the beads for abrasion in it
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