Walts... we luv em !!! - Poll

Yet another Walt post yesterday... got me thinking...

We're obsessed... and why??? Because actually... secretly... they give you a little girly tingle in your pants cos someone wants to be just like you! And they're not... so that makes you the A1 bloke.

So now you're given the choice:

And don't be too hard... I bet a fair proportion of the army is made up of ex-wannabe-walts who actually decided to stop dreaming.

 

I went to the local student bar a few nights ago, only to find that it was "army night" and everyone was running around in DPM with cam cream on. At first, I thought it a little disrespectful given that the local reg. is presently in Afghan, but after a few beers I began to feel quite flattered that so many people had arrived at the club dressed as me! Long live walts!

 

Mostly harmless. All but the most persuasive get rumbled very quickly - the persistent ones last longer but tumble harder and the schadenfreude is most enjoyable.

The exception must be the Legion of Frontiersmen because this is an organisation of walts which has reached a point where they believe their own propaganda. These are virulent stage 2 walts who are defiant rather than embarassed when they are outed. But boy will it be fun when they fall...

 

I think these Airsofters who think its is all real are just sad and that re-enactors (mostly are well intentioned - except those Nazi Walts who are odd). . Thes folk on facebook and myspace who are serving but big up what they have done are equally as sad. If we are serving in whatever capacity we all do our bit to keep the whole machine going from the guys on the front line to those repairing vehicles and cooking the scoff.

What really gets me are those who wear gongs that they are not entitled to as it debases the work done by others who have earned them and it is always oh so satisfying when the fall.

 

I think airsoft looks like great fun - But quite why they can't do it jeans and t-shirt, and feel the need to dress up in 'authentic' kit, much of which is crap anyway, I'll never fathom.

Squaddies are going to big themselves up on facebook and myspace - They've earned the right to do it and they're just trying to get laid! Can't knock 'em.

 

Personally I think they are all incredibly disrespectful.

The uniform that I wear, I had to earn. As we all did. Even being able to handle a rifle 5.56 should be treated as an honour because only Her Majesty's Armed Forces do so.

So for some pathetic, weak, fat, useless bunch over overgrown children to go around spending good money on military kit (increase in demand increases prices! cheers you bunch of kn*bs) to look like us/the men that have gone before us, I think is disgusting.

When I was a child, I used to run around with my toy guns shooting my mates and talking about killing germans/gooks/aliens etc etc.....but grown men doing it?


My best mate went to a stag do couple months ago. Turns out the stag is a proper walt (he's WW2 101st Airborne apparently!) so they went airsofting. My mate (complete civvy, totally non mil-but a good bloke nontheless, surprising I know) was like yeah ok lets have a day running around shooting toy guns...its a laugh


However these walts (as we all know) take it so seriously. trying to give lessons on cam and concleament, pairs fire and movement, hand signals etc etc.

They want to play and look the part but not actually serve their country.

They are creatures and all need to be extinguished from the face of the Earth.



IMHO



Red

 

That'll be Sin then!!

 

Top post Red phos couldn't agree more. What I can't stand is the lack of intellectual rigour.

Face it they like dressing up , the end.

However they spout on about historic accuracy blah , blah. Utter $h1te.

How can a fat forty something who lives with his mum in any way represent the young men who served.

Why are there no Red Army dresser uppers? They were our allies after all. Why are the Germans fat blokes always Waffen SS?

Deep seated spasms of nobbishness all round methinks.

As for the League of Frontiersmen as V_M said they are by far the worst of a very seedy bunch.

 

Tramps!

 

They are great entertainment. We have one at work - he really did serve, but the way he goes on he should have at least 3 VCs. About 60% of the company is ex-military (excluding RAF who are fair game for any banter), but most of us just watch with amusement.

 

I don't mind the wannabes one bit...

If they want to pretend to be soldiers and run around with airsoft, then they're not much different to all the kids over here who dress up as though their Lords of their own rings and club each other crazy with Polydichroblacknsilverethelyne.

The been-there-done-that's get to me, though... I don't mind them boring civies with their tales, but I f'in hate listning to someone and then getting suspiscious about the truth of it all. I like meeting ex-s... good chin wag... old stories... but when they force me to say "what was your service number backwards then" and they fumble like drunk Albanian welders... I get really pissed. Last one to try that was on Nov 11th... tossser.

So crack on Walting... but not to me.

 

Went to a "HERITAGE FAIR" with the missus at the weekend, she was representing her organisation (socal worky) The place was wall to wall walts, romans, knights, americal civil war world war two the list goes on.
Then there where the displays of kit, "Battles" etc etc.
Over heard two walts banging on about the effectiveness of a garand against a SLR (que the bulging vein on forehead) having listened to this for a couple of minutes i about turned and queried when either of them had last fired the SLR, neither had. Then went on to ask how they came to their conclusions if they had never fired either for real (thats with ball ammo not blank for any walts reading). They tried blinding me with techno babble about sear springs, muzzle velocity blah blah blah.
This went on till i ended it with "****ing walts" Blank expression. To then be told "we get sick of you army types always thinking your a authority on everything military"....
I popped smoke and left-speechless......

 

I feel that some Walts give more entertainment than a night in front of the telly (which OK, is crap anyway).
As a genre they are far more inventive than the current raft of reality 'celebs', and I think that they should be encouraged, nay government funded even!.

 

Walts are a huge topic on this site, and many hours of Ebay and other fun would be sadly lost if they did not exist (remember the SAS smock?).

Squaddies need walts, and walts need squaddies. Without walts, there would be less people to feel angry about, and let's face it, everyone needs someone to mock and feel superior to. Yes, before you say it, we've got gwars, mlars, bints, poofs, chavs, immigrants, politicians, septics, africans (like Mugabe, before you scream racism), ossifers, coppers, homeless, dole bludgers, left wingers, tree huggers, junkies, drug dealers, burglars and last, but by no means least, REMFS. But that's not the point is it?

We need them.

As far as Walts go, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Your average walt looks up to the forces, and wants to be just like them. They either dress up as 'them', or normal squaddies (some of the more reprehensible ones dress up as Nazis, sorry Harry), and spin terrible tales of derring do to unsuspecting, though often moist females or the more gullible blerks in pubs. Where they are not caught out by the genuine fellows, they often impress, and may even assist in recruiting (when they are not spazzers to boot). I fine example of a walt would be the guy who fleeced those saps of all their money by pretending to be secret squirrel. He must have had the time of his life spending all their money in between locking them, or beating them up to strengthen their resolve. It certainly made me laugh.

So, please keep walts out of Room 101.

 

I was studying part time, and had an exam on the Saturday morning of an exercise. I agreed to catch a train across half the state, and join up that night.

Saturday and the exam was sh1t. I spent valuable study time getting kit ready, and didn’t get enough sleep. I then had to grab my gear and walk across half of the city in a steamy Sydney heatwave. I was late and missed my train. By now I was in a bad mood. I went into the bar (in uniform, complete with pack and webbing) and ordered a coke. I was psised about the exam. I was psised about the hot walk. I was psised about the exercise, and I was psised that I was not allowed to have a beer.

Standing in the bar, all alone, some fat unshaved toothless prat approached me.

“Who you with mate”

I told him.

“Ahhh mate, yer didn’t have the guts to join the SAS like I did”

I grabbed this fat excuse for humanity and shouted “You fat useless slob, you were never in the SAS, you were never in the army, you were never in the cadets, you wouldn’t even make it inot the boy scouts. Psis off before I smash a glass in your ugly face”.

I don’t really like Walts……