Walts... we luv em !!! - Poll

I want to

  • Exterminate all Walts

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Praise be to Walts they justify my existence

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Exterminate wannabe Walts

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Total voters
    1
#1
Yet another Walt post yesterday... got me thinking...

We're obsessed... and why??? Because actually... secretly... they give you a little girly tingle in your pants cos someone wants to be just like you! And they're not... so that makes you the A1 bloke.

So now you're given the choice:

And don't be too hard... I bet a fair proportion of the army is made up of ex-wannabe-walts who actually decided to stop dreaming.
 
#2
I went to the local student bar a few nights ago, only to find that it was "army night" and everyone was running around in DPM with cam cream on. At first, I thought it a little disrespectful given that the local reg. is presently in Afghan, but after a few beers I began to feel quite flattered that so many people had arrived at the club dressed as me! Long live walts!
 
#3
Mostly harmless. All but the most persuasive get rumbled very quickly - the persistent ones last longer but tumble harder and the schadenfreude is most enjoyable.

The exception must be the Legion of Frontiersmen because this is an organisation of walts which has reached a point where they believe their own propaganda. These are virulent stage 2 walts who are defiant rather than embarassed when they are outed. But boy will it be fun when they fall...
 
#4
I think these Airsofters who think its is all real are just sad and that re-enactors (mostly are well intentioned - except those Nazi Walts who are odd). . Thes folk on facebook and myspace who are serving but big up what they have done are equally as sad. If we are serving in whatever capacity we all do our bit to keep the whole machine going from the guys on the front line to those repairing vehicles and cooking the scoff.

What really gets me are those who wear gongs that they are not entitled to as it debases the work done by others who have earned them and it is always oh so satisfying when the fall.
 
#5
H_FLASHMAN said:
I think these Airsofters who think its is all real are just sad and that re-enactors (mostly are well intentioned - except those Nazi Walts who are odd). . Thes folk on facebook and myspace who are serving but big up what they have done are equally as sad. If we are serving in whatever capacity we all do our bit to keep the whole machine going from the guys on the front line to those repairing vehicles and cooking the scoff.

What really gets me are those who wear gongs that they are not entitled to as it debases the work done by others who have earned them and it is always oh so satisfying when the fall.
I think airsoft looks like great fun - But quite why they can't do it jeans and t-shirt, and feel the need to dress up in 'authentic' kit, much of which is crap anyway, I'll never fathom.

Squaddies are going to big themselves up on facebook and myspace - They've earned the right to do it and they're just trying to get laid! Can't knock 'em.
 
#6
Personally I think they are all incredibly disrespectful.

The uniform that I wear, I had to earn. As we all did. Even being able to handle a rifle 5.56 should be treated as an honour because only Her Majesty's Armed Forces do so.

So for some pathetic, weak, fat, useless bunch over overgrown children to go around spending good money on military kit (increase in demand increases prices! cheers you bunch of kn*bs) to look like us/the men that have gone before us, I think is disgusting.

When I was a child, I used to run around with my toy guns shooting my mates and talking about killing germans/gooks/aliens etc etc.....but grown men doing it?


My best mate went to a stag do couple months ago. Turns out the stag is a proper walt (he's WW2 101st Airborne apparently!) so they went airsofting. My mate (complete civvy, totally non mil-but a good bloke nontheless, surprising I know) was like yeah ok lets have a day running around shooting toy guns...its a laugh


However these walts (as we all know) take it so seriously. trying to give lessons on cam and concleament, pairs fire and movement, hand signals etc etc.

They want to play and look the part but not actually serve their country.

They are creatures and all need to be extinguished from the face of the Earth.



IMHO



Red
 
#7
RFUK said:
I went to the local student bar a few nights ago, only to find that it was "army night" and everyone was running around in DPM with cam cream on. At first, I thought it a little disrespectful given that the local reg. is presently in Afghan, but after a few beers I began to feel quite flattered that so many people had arrived at the club dressed as me! Long live walts!
That'll be Sin then!!
 
#8
red_phos said:
Personally I think they are all incredibly disrespectful.

The uniform that I wear, I had to earn. As we all did. Even being able to handle a rifle 5.56 should be treated as an honour because only Her Majesty's Armed Forces do so.

So for some pathetic, weak, fat, useless bunch over overgrown children to go around spending good money on military kit (increase in demand increases prices! cheers you bunch of kn*bs) to look like us/the men that have gone before us, I think is disgusting.

When I was a child, I used to run around with my toy guns shooting my mates and talking about killing germans/gooks/aliens etc etc.....but grown men doing it?


My best mate went to a stag do couple months ago. Turns out the stag is a proper walt (he's WW2 101st Airborne apparently!) so they went airsofting. My mate (complete civvy, totally non mil-but a good bloke nontheless, surprising I know) was like yeah ok lets have a day running around shooting toy guns...its a laugh


However these walts (as we all know) take it so seriously. trying to give lessons on cam and concleament, pairs fire and movement, hand signals etc etc.

They want to play and look the part but not actually serve their country.

They are creatures and all need to be extinguished from the face of the Earth.



IMHO



Red

Top post Red phos couldn't agree more. What I can't stand is the lack of intellectual rigour.

Face it they like dressing up , the end.

However they spout on about historic accuracy blah , blah. Utter $h1te.

How can a fat forty something who lives with his mum in any way represent the young men who served.

Why are there no Red Army dresser uppers? They were our allies after all. Why are the Germans fat blokes always Waffen SS?

Deep seated spasms of nobbishness all round methinks.

As for the League of Frontiersmen as V_M said they are by far the worst of a very seedy bunch.
 
#9
Ronnie8781 said:
RFUK said:
I went to the local student bar a few nights ago, only to find that it was "army night" and everyone was running around in DPM with cam cream on. At first, I thought it a little disrespectful given that the local reg. is presently in Afghan, but after a few beers I began to feel quite flattered that so many people had arrived at the club dressed as me! Long live walts!
That'll be Sin then!!
Tramps!
 
#10
They are great entertainment. We have one at work - he really did serve, but the way he goes on he should have at least 3 VCs. About 60% of the company is ex-military (excluding RAF who are fair game for any banter), but most of us just watch with amusement.
 
#11
I don't mind the wannabes one bit...

If they want to pretend to be soldiers and run around with airsoft, then they're not much different to all the kids over here who dress up as though their Lords of their own rings and club each other crazy with Polydichroblacknsilverethelyne.

The been-there-done-that's get to me, though... I don't mind them boring civies with their tales, but I f'in hate listning to someone and then getting suspiscious about the truth of it all. I like meeting ex-s... good chin wag... old stories... but when they force me to say "what was your service number backwards then" and they fumble like drunk Albanian welders... I get really pissed. Last one to try that was on Nov 11th... tossser.

So crack on Walting... but not to me.
 
#12
Sir_Sidney_Ruff_Diamond said:
red_phos said:
Personally I think they are all incredibly disrespectful.

The uniform that I wear, I had to earn. As we all did. Even being able to handle a rifle 5.56 should be treated as an honour because only Her Majesty's Armed Forces do so.

So for some pathetic, weak, fat, useless bunch over overgrown children to go around spending good money on military kit (increase in demand increases prices! cheers you bunch of kn*bs) to look like us/the men that have gone before us, I think is disgusting.

When I was a child, I used to run around with my toy guns shooting my mates and talking about killing germans/gooks/aliens etc etc.....but grown men doing it?


My best mate went to a stag do couple months ago. Turns out the stag is a proper walt (he's WW2 101st Airborne apparently!) so they went airsofting. My mate (complete civvy, totally non mil-but a good bloke nontheless, surprising I know) was like yeah ok lets have a day running around shooting toy guns...its a laugh


However these walts (as we all know) take it so seriously. trying to give lessons on cam and concleament, pairs fire and movement, hand signals etc etc.

They want to play and look the part but not actually serve their country.

They are creatures and all need to be extinguished from the face of the Earth.



IMHO



Red

Top post Red phos couldn't agree more. What I can't stand is the lack of intellectual rigour.

Face it they like dressing up , the end.

However they spout on about historic accuracy blah , blah. Utter $h1te.

How can a fat forty something who lives with his mum in any way represent the young men who served.

Why are there no Red Army dresser uppers? They were our allies after all. Why are the Germans fat blokes always Waffen SS?

Deep seated spasms of nobbishness all round methinks.

As for the League of Frontiersmen as V_M said they are by far the worst of a very seedy bunch.
Went to a "HERITAGE FAIR" with the missus at the weekend, she was representing her organisation (socal worky) The place was wall to wall walts, romans, knights, americal civil war world war two the list goes on.
Then there where the displays of kit, "Battles" etc etc.
Over heard two walts banging on about the effectiveness of a garand against a SLR (que the bulging vein on forehead) having listened to this for a couple of minutes i about turned and queried when either of them had last fired the SLR, neither had. Then went on to ask how they came to their conclusions if they had never fired either for real (thats with ball ammo not blank for any walts reading). They tried blinding me with techno babble about sear springs, muzzle velocity blah blah blah.
This went on till i ended it with "****ing walts" Blank expression. To then be told "we get sick of you army types always thinking your a authority on everything military"....
I popped smoke and left-speechless......
 
#13
I feel that some Walts give more entertainment than a night in front of the telly (which OK, is crap anyway).
As a genre they are far more inventive than the current raft of reality 'celebs', and I think that they should be encouraged, nay government funded even!.
 

Biped

LE
Book Reviewer
#14
Walts are a huge topic on this site, and many hours of Ebay and other fun would be sadly lost if they did not exist (remember the SAS smock?).

Squaddies need walts, and walts need squaddies. Without walts, there would be less people to feel angry about, and let's face it, everyone needs someone to mock and feel superior to. Yes, before you say it, we've got gwars, mlars, bints, poofs, chavs, immigrants, politicians, septics, africans (like Mugabe, before you scream racism), ossifers, coppers, homeless, dole bludgers, left wingers, tree huggers, junkies, drug dealers, burglars and last, but by no means least, REMFS. But that's not the point is it?

We need them.

As far as Walts go, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Your average walt looks up to the forces, and wants to be just like them. They either dress up as 'them', or normal squaddies (some of the more reprehensible ones dress up as Nazis, sorry Harry), and spin terrible tales of derring do to unsuspecting, though often moist females or the more gullible blerks in pubs. Where they are not caught out by the genuine fellows, they often impress, and may even assist in recruiting (when they are not spazzers to boot). I fine example of a walt would be the guy who fleeced those saps of all their money by pretending to be secret squirrel. He must have had the time of his life spending all their money in between locking them, or beating them up to strengthen their resolve. It certainly made me laugh.

So, please keep walts out of Room 101.
 
#15
I was studying part time, and had an exam on the Saturday morning of an exercise. I agreed to catch a train across half the state, and join up that night.

Saturday and the exam was sh1t. I spent valuable study time getting kit ready, and didn’t get enough sleep. I then had to grab my gear and walk across half of the city in a steamy Sydney heatwave. I was late and missed my train. By now I was in a bad mood. I went into the bar (in uniform, complete with pack and webbing) and ordered a coke. I was psised about the exam. I was psised about the hot walk. I was psised about the exercise, and I was psised that I was not allowed to have a beer.

Standing in the bar, all alone, some fat unshaved toothless prat approached me.

“Who you with mate”

I told him.

“Ahhh mate, yer didn’t have the guts to join the SAS like I did”

I grabbed this fat excuse for humanity and shouted “You fat useless slob, you were never in the SAS, you were never in the army, you were never in the cadets, you wouldn’t even make it inot the boy scouts. Psis off before I smash a glass in your ugly face”.

I don’t really like Walts……
 
#16
As a civvie I don't have the honour of serving in the forces but do admire those who have the cojones to do. As a rule I feel the least I can do is show that respect by getting servicemen/women a drink if and when I meet one, usually friends or relies or their mates. After all you who serve have the toughest job there is and it's just my way of saying thanks as to be honest the way some fellow civvies talk about the millitary is disgusting and shameful.

Walts of all walks of life are a disgrace to humanity as they belittle the forces and the men and women who go through so much. Personally I don't spend weekends dressing up in military kit as I have not earned that right. Several close members of my family have served or are doing so now so I am aware of how hard-won each of their stable-belts was, to buy one second-hand and walt it up would be insulting them and their labours.

Mind you, perhaps a distinction should be made as regards re-enactors, and no I'm not one of those. Some re-enactment groups, e.g. the Sealed Knot, are brilliant at getting all the details right and put in a lot of effort that pays off especially as it can really help kids understand history better. Sadly, there are some re-enactment groups, okay many, who don't put in the effort, don't research and so don't give a realistic representation of their historical period. The problem is that within many groups the onus is on the individual to do research and many can't be arsed.

So, walts should be rounded up and made to decide-do it for real or not at all. If you are a re-enactor, get it right or give it up.

Having rambled on like that, I'd stress again that I'm a civvie offering a civvie viewpoint and defer to those of you currently serving for a better assessment of walts.

P.S. Yes, I have considered joining up, but for various reasons feel that I'd be better-suited to the TA so am partway through the application process.

P.P.S Am going to be collecting a close relative from a tour overseas in the winter, to prepare was hoping to start stockpiling alcoholic beverages so that I can pick him up with bootfull of booze for him and his mates to divvy up. Will that be acceptable or get him into trouble?
 
#17
I like Walts. They make me laugh.

I have had some excellent fun trying to get Walts to big up their experiences. You should look upon it as a challenge to get them to tell you the tallest stories.

Its great if you can get the fat bloke in the pub to spin you one about when he was in an OP for 6 months watching a MSR and carrying out clandestine sabotage missions in Iraq before the land offensive or his time with THEM when he HALO dropped near an Argentine airfield in 82.

You can usually get them to pile in by adding the odd, "Yeah, I read somewhere that there was a special forces unit that did that [add in some other utterly implausible nonsense]. Was that really you? Wow!"

Hours of fun!
 
#18
Well i cant wait to be in a Pub and see some guy going on about Op Nimby and how he fought off the Taliban for 14 hours alone, and yes this Op Nimby T-Shirt means more to him than anything as it reminds him of smudge and dinger.

I can just see that scenario happening sadly.
 
#20
I love walts. Fantastic comedy value in all the unlikely places. They're all over too..

There's a bloke in our village who goes around in a spanking-new SAS smock. One night I passed him walking his dog while I was out running. Then when I stopped to tie a lace (I'd had to wait, you see, until there weren't any cars or people about..) he passed me again and said 'our lot used to run in rucksacks!' I said 'did they poke their legs through then? I prefer trainers!' and left it at that and ran on. I passed him quite regularly from then on and he always gave me a supercillious smirk as if to say 'try your best son, I know what I'm on about'. One of my not-so-best buys at An Nasiryah's PX was a sand t-shirt with a little 'Operation Iraqi Freedom' motif on the front. Not so bad in itself, but on the reverse it has a huge 'who's your Baghdaddy? Yeehah!' on the back - didn't see it at the time. I call it my painting t-shirt... Then one day I'd been decorating and had it on and went to the local co-op. Andy McNab-face was there. He knew he'd been pinged. He still walks his dog but - believe this - he takes a different route now. Sad fecker.

Best of all - when I was a spotty youth 2Lt in Stabland our OC used to get guest speakers in on Tues nights. One was an SAS Major who came in to give us a talk. He had us all outside looking for lichen on the north side of trees and looking for the pole star etc and then went into camouflage. He went into how you had to wash the soles of your boots before getting emplaning so the enemy couldn't analsyse the soil samples to see where you were from. He'd also persuaded another local regiment to lend him a couple of Ptes for the night and had them camming up as a demo to us all. 'Never let me see you with uncammed buttocks!' he said, as he cammed up their arrses. 'You can't afford to moon!' In all, quite unusual, but it gave the blokes something to talk about on the way home.

The next month the OC thought it worth seeing if this Major could come in again sometime and rang 19 Bde and asked for "Major Hush-hush, SO2 'Special Projects'". No such person. Next Tuesday, SIB were in, quizzing everybody. He was then in the paper being fined by the beaks at York Magistrates.

What a walt - but the sheer bollox of it! I take my hat off to him. A pleasure to see a master in action!
 

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