Walting - is it always a Bad Thing?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Desk_Jockey, Oct 4, 2007.

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  1. Right, it’s confession time. I freely admit to having been a civvy all my life. Not for want of trying though – I went through OASC at Biggin 3 times to apply for a General Duties commission, and even had a pop at the Navy to see if I could get into the Fleet Air Arm. Unsuccessful each time (although I didn’t get 4-10’d which is something I s’pose) and I never wanted to do anything else other than be a pilot, so I didn’t join up in another capacity.

    I’ve spent most of my life and career around military types (the Godfather of my children is an ex-2 Para Falklands vet) and this, combined with the fact that I hold a PPL (legacy of another visit to Biggin as an eager young space cadet to apply for a Flying Scholarship – I was successful that time :D ) means that I can talk a pretty convincing talk as far as other civvies are concerned, especially re flying.

    Now, you certainly won’t find me down the pub walting to all and sundry about being first over the balcony or anything like that, but I have used this ability on several occasions to entice young ladies into a game of hide the sausage. Depending on my perception of the gullibility of the lady in question, the story varies from the perfectly plausible to the wildly improbable, usually culminating in my banging out over Iraq during GWI (backed up by a rather convincing scar on my leg which is passed off as “Iraqi ack-ack” but which is in fact the result of an argument with a barbed-wire fence when I was 11).

    So, the question. Is walting, when done solely and purely for the purpose of getting one’s end away, a Bad Thing? Should I turn away from the dark side lest it consume me?
  2. Say three hail marys and buy everyone a beer and its fine but only if its done as an elastic loosener
  3. In my view you are a cnut.

    A serviceman embelishing his career and qualifications to get a jump is one thing but pretending to be a servicemen when you in fact failed to gain entry, then pretending to have been shot down in a campaign were decent blokes have died is beyond funny.

    There isn't a squaddie alive who hasn't lorded it up just ever so slightly, you pretend to be a fighter pilot that didn't even get to lick gaurdroom floor. If I heard you walting I'd see strung you up by your Martin Baker tie and see your spuds stoved in

  4. Ord_Sgt

    Ord_Sgt RIP

    Agreed, walting for the purposes of female sexual exploitation is perfectly acceptable. Especially if its wildly outrageous but still gets you laid.
  5. Ord_Sgt

    Ord_Sgt RIP

    But I guess MDN disagrees. :D
  6. My he is tetchy this morning!
  7. Totally agree with MDN. ‘Lording it up’ is one thing, but this is plain walting for me, no different to Pte Golden etc etc.
  8. hmm... tough one. Blatant walting is wrong (ie totally pretenderism) but 'slight embellishment' is fine for the purposes of VIP entrance to the furry gates. For example all of us 'met Harry at Sandhurst' even though he got there years after I spent a month there etc etc. Totally making up a career is wrong though. You need to have some actual MOD based roll first...
  9. If you're a civvy pretending to be Military you're a walt and deserve a slap.
  10. Got to agree with MDN, the guy is pretending to have been a wounded serviceman and
    He is a cnut, fair play if the guy had served in Iraq, and was pretending his scar was from a bayonet, but to never have served and use that ploy is grade two walting.

    Desk-Jockey your a walt and a cnut :x
  11. Frankly, I'm surprised it works. The one way to get a bird to disappear is to tell her that you're in the Army. Everyone I know is a dolphin trainer.
  12. I don't understand it at all! When I was in, and out on the pull, the last thing I'd ever mention when trying to trap some local bint is the fact that I was a squaddie. Infact, I've done all sorts of bone jobs, including "aqua-dozer driver" etc.

    I found that mentioning "soldier" to a bird usually resulted in them necking their archers and lemonade and running a mile!
  13. Bit sad, not exactly out and out cuntish though, especially when trying to get nuts deep.

    Not as though he is on this level is it?

    Major big time Walt
  14. Fair enough. Certainly don't mean to imply any disrespect for servicemen (and women) - I've worked with enough of them over the years to do that. I shall immediately cease and desist. Just have to look for other methods of loosening elastic.

    Ho hum. Back to the rhynopol and the knife.
  15. but you have done! and the leg scar ! cnut