Walting - is it always a Bad Thing?

Right, it’s confession time. I freely admit to having been a civvy all my life. Not for want of trying though – I went through OASC at Biggin 3 times to apply for a General Duties commission, and even had a pop at the Navy to see if I could get into the Fleet Air Arm. Unsuccessful each time (although I didn’t get 4-10’d which is something I s’pose) and I never wanted to do anything else other than be a pilot, so I didn’t join up in another capacity.

I’ve spent most of my life and career around military types (the Godfather of my children is an ex-2 Para Falklands vet) and this, combined with the fact that I hold a PPL (legacy of another visit to Biggin as an eager young space cadet to apply for a Flying Scholarship – I was successful that time :D ) means that I can talk a pretty convincing talk as far as other civvies are concerned, especially re flying.

Now, you certainly won’t find me down the pub walting to all and sundry about being first over the balcony or anything like that, but I have used this ability on several occasions to entice young ladies into a game of hide the sausage. Depending on my perception of the gullibility of the lady in question, the story varies from the perfectly plausible to the wildly improbable, usually culminating in my banging out over Iraq during GWI (backed up by a rather convincing scar on my leg which is passed off as “Iraqi ack-ack” but which is in fact the result of an argument with a barbed-wire fence when I was 11).

So, the question. Is walting, when done solely and purely for the purpose of getting one’s end away, a Bad Thing? Should I turn away from the dark side lest it consume me?
Say three hail marys and buy everyone a beer and its fine but only if its done as an elastic loosener
In my view you are a cnut.

A serviceman embelishing his career and qualifications to get a jump is one thing but pretending to be a servicemen when you in fact failed to gain entry, then pretending to have been shot down in a campaign were decent blokes have died is beyond funny.

There isn't a squaddie alive who hasn't lorded it up just ever so slightly, you pretend to be a fighter pilot that didn't even get to lick gaurdroom floor. If I heard you walting I'd see strung you up by your Martin Baker tie and see your spuds stoved in

Agreed, walting for the purposes of female sexual exploitation is perfectly acceptable. Especially if its wildly outrageous but still gets you laid.
But I guess MDN disagrees. :D


Totally agree with MDN. ‘Lording it up’ is one thing, but this is plain walting for me, no different to Pte Golden etc etc.
hmm... tough one. Blatant walting is wrong (ie totally pretenderism) but 'slight embellishment' is fine for the purposes of VIP entrance to the furry gates. For example all of us 'met Harry at Sandhurst' even though he got there years after I spent a month there etc etc. Totally making up a career is wrong though. You need to have some actual MOD based roll first...
If you're a civvy pretending to be Military you're a walt and deserve a slap.
Got to agree with MDN, the guy is pretending to have been a wounded serviceman and
the story varies from the perfectly plausible to the wildly improbable
He is a cnut, fair play if the guy had served in Iraq, and was pretending his scar was from a bayonet, but to never have served and use that ploy is grade two walting.

Desk-Jockey your a walt and a cnut :x
I don't understand it at all! When I was in, and out on the pull, the last thing I'd ever mention when trying to trap some local bint is the fact that I was a squaddie. Infact, I've done all sorts of bone jobs, including "aqua-dozer driver" etc.

I found that mentioning "soldier" to a bird usually resulted in them necking their archers and lemonade and running a mile!
Fair enough. Certainly don't mean to imply any disrespect for servicemen (and women) - I've worked with enough of them over the years to do that. I shall immediately cease and desist. Just have to look for other methods of loosening elastic.

Ho hum. Back to the rhynopol and the knife.
Desk_Jockey said:
Fair enough. Certainly don't mean to imply any disrespect for servicemen (and women) - I've worked with enough of them over the years to do that.
but you have done! and the leg scar ! cnut
Having been in and "embellishing" your career is fine,

but to never have had the joys of bulling boots or buffing floors, and pretending to have gone over the top, is beyond the pale and deserves a slap.

To have done the time and know the score is one thing, to walt with no experience is an insult to all who have, and disrespect to those who made the ultimate sacrifice.
If thats what you have to do to get your leg over you are an EXTREMELY sad man, very disrespectful and a complete tw*t.
Question for Desk_jockey to test his walting ability since he's already admitted to being a walt of the worst type I wanna see if he's trying to walt us even more while trying to say he's being honest:

Explain what P-Factor is in real terms.
Since when did being a serviceman get you laid?

I found it a bigger contraceptive than abortion, annouce to a woman in Ripon that your a squaddie and she'd give a nominal role of the live tadpoles from your unit that are still swishing around in her arrse. Say it to a bird in Andover and she'd fell you with a right hander uncle Lennox would be proud of.

Desk Jockey, you are a first class walting underpant. Redeem yourself, slightly, by making a considerable donation to the RBL or SSAFA..... Butt stain

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