Walt found and outed in Flitwick, Beds

Discussion in 'Waltenkommando' started by Skunkmiester, Jun 15, 2012.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. My Brother and I were visiting our folks recently and during the evening we unfortunatley found ourselves in the local pub, I have no idea how this happened but it happens often and one day we may try to stop this nasty habit :) .

    Anyway it's late and these 3 lads next to us are playing a drinking game. It envolves trying to smack each other on the arse as hard as possible, like Raps but a bit gheyer.

    Confused by this I ask the guy nearest me who was participating (40 something, thick set, ruddy complexion) what it was all about?
    'Oh, it is just something We used to play when I was in the Royal Marines' he says.

    'Really....great, nice to meet you mate' says I?

    I turn to my brother and ask him if he remembers this game...... Nope, neither can I. My brother was in for 23 years, I was in for 6 1/2. Never played smacking your oppo's arse (no matter what you lot think :) )
    Anyway, after a short while I ask him which unit he was in and when, genuinley pleased to meet another ex bootneck.

    '42 in 92' he says.

    'Really? I was in 42, I joined 42 after training in 92.. Which coy were you? (at this time it was still genuine chat, interest).

    He said 'look I've been drinking...I don't want to talk about it'

    'Err, (ears prick up) ok'

    Confused looks between my brother and I.

    Perhaps I had too many pints of confidence inside me but I just turned round to him and asked him what his P0 number was.

    Him: hesitates then just says that he is not interested in talking.

    So I just said quetly to him' Your not an ex Marine are you?'

    He admits that he is not and just goes quiet....

    Me: 'so why the lies?'

    'errrrr I was in 29cdo.'

    I say
    Cool, why the bollox, that is something you should be proud of etc, and start chatting about stuff.

    He then cuts in that he was not 29cdo but reg Artillery (cannot remember which regt / unit)


    He spent the rest of the night rather quite and just staring past the bar.
    No need to pursue this any further, deed has been done.

    I bet this walt didn't factor in the possibility of spouting off whilst standing next to two ex Bootnecks.

    If he was really in whatever artillery reg then why the need to bullshit. I don't know any person from any branch of the forces that was not fully proud of their ship/unit/regt/sqn.

    Juste read back through this and realise that he wasn't really outed properly. That will happen if we meet again and he is back to bullshitting.
  2. Well how fucking uninteresting.
    • Like Like x 5
  3. I found it funny , maybe you had to be there.

    Not that you would ever really want to be in Flitwick.
  4. You should have played the hero-worshipping civvie, and got him to tell you tails of derring do - bet he was planning to whisper in your ear that he was actually in sb etc etc.
    • Like Like x 3
  5. Whats wrong with Flitwick (pronounced Flitick for those that don't know) also just one of the many thousands that claim to RM and Paras who in reality where what Frank Spencer was to the RAF!
  6. You mean really in it? Frank Spencer for all his failings really was RAF.
  7. The episode I saw he was kicked out after one day when he went down the stairs in a locker. Most the these idiots who claim to been RM have never got passed CTC. I had one lad rock up at Kempston TA Centre claiming to have been a Marine from CTC, I asked which Commando he served with.. he replied rather puzzled..... "But there is only one"

    Bit like a Para recruit being binned off P coy
  8. Some people on here make me laugh, or not. One minute they're all "Fire up the Outrage bus, and lets go round and kick the shit out of this nonce walt big timing cunt!"
    When someone does out a Walt its "Oh you hero, you're ace you are"
    Make your fucking minds up you armchair fucking heroes!
    Good effort on the walt-outing though
  9. I don't think I've ever met a Walt. I probably have, but I'm a gullable cunt.
    I've got a mate who's ex 42. Me and him were in a bar in Manchester in the early noughties. He'd just got back from Iraq and I'd just been in Kosovo. It was all a bit vague, but we ended up getting kicked out for being walting feckers by a civvie bouncer who didnt like us trying to fire into his blart.......
  10. We weren't in Kosovo early 90s? Do you mean Bosnia?
    • Like Like x 1
  11. i once met a bloke who's brother's, neighbour's, babysitter's aunt may have been in the SAS...sorry, i mean "THEM"...however when i asked him (not the actual bloke but a close friend of his) to ask him what the colour of the boathouse is he didn't know. I call Walt and want to out him not least because his made up dits are far better than mine.

    Has anybody else come across this before? People with fantasy military careers (normally characterised by a propensity for propping up the bar in country pubs and time/space continuum issues?) that which hurts their feelings and makes them feel sad and vulnerable inside? I'm proud of my service, i was over the water in '92, i had Gerry Adams in my sights...blah blah etc turn to p92...

    same old, same old...who cares about some old time bulsh!tter, should have humoured him, got a pint out of him and asked to prove that he was Royal by asking for a chew in the smoking area.

    Ps, you only served for 6 yrs, which makes you an uber nig, but you mention that your brother did 23 yrs....that makes you a sibling walt...

    ....next slide
    • Like Like x 2
  12. "in the early noughties". Not nineties?
  13. I think the chap sporting the daysack (plus nice shiny Lowas as well), would be a bit more convincing if it was not absolutely gleaming. Me thinks he never ventured outside of KAF. I do get a great feeling of security knowing this chap is around whilst I patrol the green zone in Leighton Buzzard province. Good to know he will be able to lob a couple of cheese rolls at any insurgents we encounter as we pass through Watford Junction.

    Attached Files:

  14. ^ utter, arrant, purest wank.
  15. I think it was either 2001 or 2002. About 6 months after GW 2 kicked off.....