Walt bashing/woman bashing hybrid thread

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by rogue_trader, Dec 22, 2010.

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  1. As a serving soldier in 56 (Bengazi) Mess Tin Repair Unit (Vol) I am sick to death of the abundance of walt bashing threads on this site. I have served King and Country for 12 years and though only 21 years of age my chest swells with pride every remembrance parade where i can dispaly my VC, DSO, MC (and bar) on my right chest proudly below my French Foreign Legion para wings and my Rhodesian Selous Scouts wings.

    My VC was awarded during the battle of Rorke's Drift where i improvised a perimeter wall out of mess tins, thus preventng the attacking Spanish from over running the mission station and killing that nice mr Chard.

    My DSO was awarded during the Boxer Uprising where i prevented some nasty boxer type chaps from burning the British Embassy in Port Stanley down.

    My first MC was awarded during the Korean War when supporting the 1st US Marine Division who were encircled in the Chosin Reservoir perimeter and faced certain annihilation from three Waffen SS Divisions supported By Argentinian Marines. I again improvised and filled some mess tins full of snow, when they had frozen solid i could tip them out and hey presto an improvised brick. I then built a four lane duel carrageway to allow the embattled US Marines to escape the deadly clutches of those slitty eyed Germans.

    My second MC was awarded during OP TELEC 38 when a patrol base i was operating in supporting "them" was attacked by wave after wave of Mexican Scud missiles, one of which hit and blew a huge gap in the Hesco Bastian perimeter wall, again using my well honed skills of improvisation I filled some mess tins with sand and plugged that gap thus preventing the Israeli and Syrian armour from gaining entry to the base.

    So i have set up a anti Arrse walt bashing organisation. If you would like to join could you send a £50 note to:

    Major-General Percy Smyth-Forbes VC, DSO, MC (and bar)
    C Wing
    Ashworth Secure Hospital
    Near Liverpool

    Thank you and I look forward to meeting you all

    PS: Sorry for any spelling, or grammer errors as it is difficult to write whlist wearing one of those nice jackets with the arms that tie around the back.