"WALT ALERT!" Swindon

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by ironrations, Sep 22, 2007.

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  1. Excuse the grammar, Im still shaking with anger as I write this.

    Just took Mrs Ironrations and mini-Ironrations to starbucks in Swindon. While we eating our (overpriced) scran, we noticed this rather overweight guy sit down outside in a desert shirt and combatss, tucked in. Green working belt and issue desert boots.

    Fair crack me thinks, the guys obviously on his way out to either of the sandy hot places.

    As I take him in a few things dont make sense. No badges, bar UJ. No rank, no headdress, fat, and fashion type beard.

    My walt sense begins a-tingling.

    After seeing him lap up a few appreciative glances from those around and passers by I decide to ask him who he is with.

    I sit down opposite and ask him friendly.

    "You army mate?"

    'Yeah'

    "What Regiment?"

    'Marines......'

    Gotcha.

    The conversation grew louder and angrier as I pulled my ID card out and asked him if he was in for real. He admitted after a few minutes that he wasn't.

    What really surprised me was the reaction of the table next to him one guy was wearing a set of black and white fashion combat trousers, he asked why I had a problem as he was wearing combats. I explained.

    My missus has since told me she sees this idiot hanging around town most weekends in assault vests etc.

    What next? I want his head on a stick.

    Btw a couple out shopping came and said thank you afterwards as they had a son in Iraq and were disgusted by this individuals behavior.

    Needed to get it off my chest, anger starting to subside.
     
  2. 'kin good effort. That'll give him something to think about before he does it again.
     
  3. Serves you right for going to a Starbucks. You get a much more convincing Walt in any NAAFI !
     
  4. If he does this regularly, though, surely you're not the first soldier to call his bluff? Therefore I doubt it'd put him off much, although he might run in the opposite direction if he sees you again.

    Go fetch a stick and hunt him down. It would make a lovely trophy.
     
  5. Are these people for real ! Does he really think he is going to kop off or something?? Maybe he has in the past an thats why he still does it?
     
  6. what a complete tosser.
     
  7. Proceed with caution. Might be a class IV walt.They are completely bonkers. Here's a case in point. Someone near and dear to me is the CO of a reseve unit over here. Some face-shot-needing retard at the local recruiter signed up a complete psychopath, with a surname which sounds identincle to a different word for c#nt. This Pte. Bussy(or something near that) was to be seen on the streets of his hometown every day in various surrplus- store mismatches. Until some mong signed him up and gave him real kit.Thereafter, he was never seen out of uniform, EVER! A friend of mine instructed this Bussy's recruit course, and alerted me to his fuckedness. I was working the door at a local club, soonthereafter, and Bussy shows up in uni with webbing. this was NOT on a parade night. So we search him and find2 Rambo-style knives, a shuriken, and a pellet-pistol. We took them away and he freaked. Filth were called, but decided not to charge him due to the fact that he was an Army guy (I will not say soldier). Anyways, the decision was made to send the freak to the docs, who decreed he was not able to train with weapons. This meant no drill, let alone ranges. Obviously he was RTU'd from his course. The unit did everything possible to can him, but he knew his "rights" and pulled a Full Ministerial intervention. Turns out that in addition to being a total throbbing loon, he had suffered a closed-head injury at some point. So they send him to the head-shrinkers, hoping for reason to release him. It comes out that this guy lives in a hootch on the banks of Lake (insert Great Lake here, persec, ya know), and patrols the shore (the int. border) with an entrenching tool looking for "terrorists".G_d help any Muslim picnickers...He's now suing the Police for the return of his BB pistol. He was finally medicalled out, paid 14 months restitution pay for the days he wasn't allowed to parade, and left with a HUGE psycho-hate on for the CO, who ruined his life-long dream of being Rambo. The CO had to purchase a handgun and train his wife in it's use, in case this Walt comes around to exact vengeance while CO is away. Bad news. Some Walts are dangerous. I say if you must deal with this Walt at your coffee-shop, it'd be best to glass him with your cappucino mug straight off,then excoriate him as he lies in a pool of blood. Better safe than sorry, I always say
     
  8. Is this US Walts or Canuck Walts?

    You gotta love a country that will allow even walts to carry weapons. I'd say the CO should put the fear of god in the walting tw@t and make sure he never comes near his house.
    As for the Swindon Walt, what do you epect being so close to Lyneham, I'll bet he hangs around below the flight path with his mates and tells them about all his Hercy flyng chums.
     
  9. Canada. The CO is now away doing Pre Depl. Trng. for a hot sandy place. Next time I'm down that way (600 miles away) I'll do my best to find him and sort him out proper..Probably around Christmas.Another case of human rights run amok.
     
  10. Good effort that person needs serious help and a lesson in not living off other mens achievements
     
  11. Not only that. It serves you right for going for going to Swindon. FFS. What do you expect. Hope you embarrassed him though. :D :D
     
  12. Cant this tosser be charged with impersonating a member of HM forces at the very least?
     
  13. Pride yourselves on the fact that civvies want to be you.

    I was made redundant from the Army and I still wish I was you :-(
     
  14. Walt certainly has some spuds big-timing around ANYWHERE in Wiltshire - never mind Swindon. The ol' army/marines ploy, eh? Bad choice on his part. Print a copy of this off and give it to Mrs Ironrations to pass on to the mong next time she's in town. :wink:
     
  15. Seen this variety of Walt on numerous occasions in shopping precincts etc :roll: , normally wearing desert pants, a white vest, some I.D discs (bought from ebay), fat pasty arms hanging out with tats on. They normally have a "staffie" on a lead with them to complete the "I'm well-ard" image.

    This calibre of person would wilt in spectacular fashion if deprived of a 24hr garage for more than a day and/or shown some real phys that involved carrying thier obese carcass anywhere under their own steam for more than 100M, let alone being shot at!!! :roll: :x