Wales for the Off - Taffexit

[AsterixTG]

Stepdaughter is a fluent druid speaker. She's massively into the "YES CYMRU" thing calling for Welsh independence and keeps pestering me about it.
I just point out that her Dad was an English man from Gloucester and very proud of the fact, and that I'm from Yorkshire originally. She has a right hissy fit when I point out that ALL the Welsh castles were built by the ENGLISH in order to enslave the Welsh people and make them live a life of national servitude.



(Last time I did it she was in the kitchen with a rather large, sharp knife, I made a rather sharp exit stage left as she had that look that women have when they're about to be extremely evil)

When I moved back from the ME in 2016 I initially stayed in a holiday let for about 6 weeks while I sorted out permanent stuff and the wife then came over.

I was staying in Presteigne - lovely small town in a little Welsh bulge into England - one night I ended up chatting to the Mayor, as you do, and a group of others in one of the pubs. This Welsh Nationalist guy went off on one when he found out I was English. He went absolutely nuts when I said that I'd been living away for a long time and had zero knowledge or interest in that sort of thing, I assume I'm like most English, we don't care, it's simply not on our radar, we don't hate the Welsh and wish them ill, we simply don't think about them, in the same way we don't think about the bloke we don't know who lives the next road down, too busy getting on with our own lives.

Apparently, that was even worse than wanting to oppress and have them all as slaves.

I went for a wee and this guy left, because of me! Couldn't handle it it seems - The Mayor was funny after I said that was a bit weird - he said, 'Yeah, he does get a bit militant and you inadvertently hit every single button he's got in one go'. Rest of the evening was lovely.

I've lived in Wales now for over 5 years - love it - I've tried to be respectful and try to learn enough of the language to be able to not be disrespectful when saying place names and the like. Helps me anyway as I can often be in the darkest deepest bits and need to know the stuff on the maps.

It's mad really - we've 99% in common with every other human on the planet yet we seem to sack everything that brings us together and focus on the minutiae that separates us and then weaponise it - ******* stupid.

 

[monkey123]

Stepdaughter is a fluent druid speaker.

A pointless as learning klingon...

 

[par avion]

'Yeah, he does get a bit militant

You obviously met Jones the militant.

 

[Unremarkable]

A pointless as learning klingon...

Not quite. It's a natural language with a native culture and history.

ETA: I recall reading that the producers of ST did not use the Klingon conlang in scripting. I don't know if they do now.

 

[Daz]

Not quite. It's a natural language with a native culture and history.

ETA: I recall reading that the producers of ST did not use the Klingon conlang in scripting. I don't know if they do now.

It's a pointless dead language artificially kept alive by the Welsh Assembly, withdraw the insistence by Welsh Government on job applicants to speak Welsh and watch the numbers of adults wishing to "learn" Welsh drop like a stone

 

[lokiuk]

The Welsh assembly.
Nothing exists or matters if its outside of the 15 mile Cardiff Bay bubble.
It's about as much use as tits on a fish.

Tits on a fish have their uses, you can shag a mermaid

 

[Themanwho]

Tits on a fish have their uses, you can shag a mermaid

Due to biological deficiencies (fish don't have frou frous - they lay eggs, and my idea of a good night in isn't wnaking over fresh caviar underwater), BJs or motorboats only, both of which have probably been banned by those joyless Methodist twaats in the Welsh Assembly (although It would be hilarious to see how the Heddlu would even begin to enforce such legislation).

 

[Unremarkable]

Due to biological deficiencies (fish don't have frou frous - they lay eggs, and my idea of a good night in isn't wnaking over fresh caviar underwater), BJs or motorboats only, both of which have probably been banned by those joyless Methodist twaats in the Welsh Assembly (although It would be hilarious to see how the Heddlu would even begin to enforce such legislation).

It would depend on two things:

Which legend your prize embodies; some versions have them with legs and flippers, some, yes, with fish tails, and some acquire legs on land.

Methodist WA - Well, that would certainly be an ecumenical matter.

 

[UncivilServant]

Tits on a fish have their uses, you can shag a mermaid

Something I've often wondered. If you go down on a mermaid, would she smell of human?

 

[BuckFelize]

Until recently the long term plan was to move to Wales. I'm not so confident of that denouement if the Sons of Glendawr seize power. I am not wasting my time (at my age) learning some cod, made-up, unpronouncable language that only 150 people speak. My money is either good, or it's not.

The first trog that looks down their nose at me as a sais interloper - and thus a lesser mortal - will be told 'Better learn to love me Taffy, as you're really gonna fcuking hate the alternative!' I shall then telefon a tacsi before the heddlu turn up.

 

[Daz]

Until recently the long term plan was to move to Wales. I'm not so confident of that denouement if the Sons of Glendawr seize power. I am not wasting my time (at my age) learning some cod, made-up, unpronouncable language that only 150 people speak. My money is either good, or it's not.

The first trog that looks down their nose at me as a sais interloper - and thus a lesser mortal - will be told 'Better learn to love me Taffy, as you're really gonna fcuking hate the alternative!' I shall then telefon a tacsi before the heddlu turn up.

Chances are if they are speaking Welsh, they either work for the Welsh Government/Local Authorities or they are English incomers, either way, just speak loudly and slowly at them as if you're dealing with a fuckwit, they soon get the hint

 

[Old Stab]

Until recently the long term plan was to move to Wales. I'm not so confident of that denouement if the Sons of Glendawr seize power. I am not wasting my time (at my age) learning some cod, made-up, unpronouncable language that only 150 people speak. My money is either good, or it's not.

The first trog that looks down their nose at me as a sais interloper - and thus a lesser mortal - will be told 'Better learn to love me Taffy, as you're really gonna fcuking hate the alternative!' I shall then telefon a tacsi before the heddlu turn up.

Don't worry about it.
Most Welsh people, especially in South Wales really don't give a shit where you're from.

Put it this way.
Wales v England, pub is packed. The local English trio tip up in their White England Rugby shirts. Some good natured booing, a bit of banter, game was watched, much piss taken.

It's a tiny minority who are druid like, usually from North Wales. Inbred sheep shagging weirdos that are the problem.

 

[Offa]

Until recently the long term plan was to move to Wales. I'm not so confident of that denouement if the Sons of Glendawr seize power. I am not wasting my time (at my age) learning some cod, made-up, unpronouncable language that only 150 people speak. My money is either good, or it's not.

The first trog that looks down their nose at me as a sais interloper - and thus a lesser mortal - will be told 'Better learn to love me Taffy, as you're really gonna fcuking hate the alternative!' I shall then telefon a tacsi before the heddlu turn up.

...and you could nuke a readymeal in the poppity-ping while you're waiting.

 

[Old Stab]

Wenglish: the dialect of the south Wales valleys by Robert Lewis (Paperback) | eBay

Find great deals for Wenglish: the dialect of the south Wales valleys by Robert Lewis (Paperback). Shop with confidence on eBay!

www.ebay.co.uk

Buy this if you move to South Wales. The dialect confuses the feck out of outsiders.

 

[Red Hander]

Wenglish: the dialect of the south Wales valleys by Robert Lewis (Paperback) | eBay

Find great deals for Wenglish: the dialect of the south Wales valleys by Robert Lewis (Paperback). Shop with confidence on eBay!

www.ebay.co.uk

Buy this if you move to South Wales. The dialect confuses the feck out of outsiders.

On my first day here, I got a taxi. 'We're here but' says the driver. But what? I wondered. And people being 'effin tamping'. And people lending money rather than borrowing it. 'Can I lend £1 off you?' Etc. Baffling at times.

 

[Old Stab]

On my first day here, I got a taxi. 'We're here but' says the driver. But what? I wondered. And people being 'effin tamping'. And people lending money rather than borrowing it. 'Can I lend £1 off you?' Etc. Baffling at times.

Ain't, Ent, Tent.
Tidy... Covers a multitude of things.

Tamping.. Angry.

 

[Red Hander]

Ain't, Ent, Tent.
Tidy... Covers a multitude of things.

Tamping.. Angry.

The thing I've picked up (and it is hard to get out of) is repeating the start of the sentence at the end. As in, 'I'm going to the shops I am'.

 

[Old Stab]

The thing I've picked up (and it is hard to get out of) is repeating the start of the sentence at the end. As in, 'I'm going to the shops I am'.

I'll be there now in a minute.

It's never Tesco.. Its Tesco's or ASDA's.

FFS mun!
. Always "Our Mam"...

That's just off the top of my head. Innit butt

 

[Red Hander]

I'll be there now in a minute.

It's never Tesco.. Its Tesco's or ASDA's.

FFS mun!
. Always "Our Mam"...

That's just off the top of my head. Innit butt

'What it is like, is...(insert issue you want to discuss)'. I like 'Thanks Driver/Drive' when leaving a bus. It would sound condescending in, for example, London but it seems to work here.

 

[BuckFelize]

Like many on here I've spent quite a bit of time in Cymru - most of it down south in the Cardiff area... where nobody speaks Welsh. It's just half a dozen expat scousers who seem to be the issue, effortlessly switching from 'Calm down, calm down' to 'Llanpfwairisillyiggoggoggoggogg' the second I walk into the pub. I can't actually remember really liking any of the Welsh blokes I've worked with over the years. They've been good blokes, but they've all been chippy ******* with a propensity for violence - especially the northerners. Comes in handy with the Zulus I suppose.