Waking Up Early

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by uncle cumulus, Sep 7, 2012.

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  1. I love waking up at 6am, seeing the sun rise, breathing the the crisp air etc. Unfortunately, I am also f*cking lazy and can barely manage it, and as I'm now a civilian (saying that is like poking a wound- pain you can't stop enjoying) I have no Badge, batman or moustachioed steward to help me out. And my wife's even lazier than I am. Any tips?

  2. Drink more the night before..... you'll wake up at a more normal time of the day.
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  3. Work for Royal mail, badge, uniform & early start- Bingo bongo sorted
  4. get a telly with a built in timer and a recording of the sunrise. you can get up at the crack of noon and still see the sunrise.
    If your desperate for a badge try sending one of your crayon drawings into Blue Peter.
    You could order a copy of ' gay boys in bondage' you'll likely find a moustachioed steward in that.
  5. Wot he said.

    I hate mornings. The best way to catch sunrise is to do a night shift.
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  6. Stay up all night drinking and catch the... What was you called it? Sun-rise? Before you hit yer pit.
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  7. Set your alarm for silly'o'clock, enjoy the fun of waking up and realising that you have another three hours till get up time, roll over and go back to sleep, enjoy.
  8. Develop a raging crystal meth habbit.

    Then you get to see as many as 3 or 4 sunrises and sun sets in a row before you completely crash and then sleep for 3 days.

    The downside to prolonged Crystal Meth use however is that you end up looking like Sluggy.
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  9. Get up at sunrise, by all means. And after it's risen, go back to bed, have a wank/bother the missus and then get up lunchtime and get yourself down the pub.

    Well, that's my Saturday sorted.
  10. Have a wank.

    What was the question?
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  11. Thats ace, Ill usually set my alarm for 5 and keep having more zonk courtesy of a repeat alarm evey 15 minutes.., feel right as rain even if I've had a session.
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  12. Drink loads the night before,wake up with an early morning piss hard-on,slip one leg off your birds pyjamas and bum her until she cries into the pillow.

    Then kick her fat lazy arse out of bed to draw back the curtains and make your breakfast whilst you enjoy the sunrise sipping a brew
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  13. I'm exactly the same, I read that Oliver Cromwell swore by the mantra,

    Early to bed and early to rise,
    Makes a man healthy and wealthy and wise.

    Also a warty-faced cunt I suppose. Anyway, that's by the by, I've always felt that it was a worthwhile thing to be up at the crack of dawn ;-) and the older I get and the faster time seems to go by, it's becoming necessary just to fit more into a day than scratching my arse, reading the paper and drinking a cup of coffee. My problem is that I also like to potter about into the wee small hours so my natural pattern, given the chance, is to let bedtime and getting up time slip progressively further back.
    However I also heard- on the length of time one should sleep- this pearl of wisdom;

    Six hours for a man, seven for a woman, eight for an idiot.

    Which doesn't help in overcoming the dreadful phenomenon of 'bed gravity'.
  14. Grumblegrunt

    Grumblegrunt LE Book Reviewer

    that monastery thing, 7 times a day for prayers and contemplation - does having a wank count for that? if so then its not so different to being on sangar stag.
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