Wagtail Section drops a bollock in Naked Bar joke.

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LE
Kit Reviewer
#1
The septics seem to be fascinated by the reports that this lunatic has only managed to get halfway to the Darwin Awards.
The Plod were game for a laugh though, even after the tensile strength of the streaker's plum had failed due to the Alsation swinging from it, they gave him a healthy zapping with their Tazers !

Fox News said:
K-9 Used to Subdue Naked Suspect

It was no Christmas elf running from house to house, in the alley of 5400 Park Avenue South Tuesday afternoon, around 12:05. It was a man. A stark naked man, checking for unlocked doors.

He found one at Craig Martinson's home. “I know he scattered a bunch of laundry around. I know he was on all floors."

A half-dozen cops were on the naked man's trail, including an officer with a K-9 named Zak. The cop spotted the naked man inside Martinson's home and ordered him outside. “At that point the suspect leaped toward the canine officer and punched the canine officer in the head."

"Doing what the dog is trained to do protect the handler, the dog jumped and bit the suspect, in the genitals. In this case, the genitals, that's correct."

One neighbor says she watched as police appeared to recover part of the man's testicles from the porch area of the home.

Minneapolis police say their K-9 officers are never trained to attack the genitals. But, suspects usually aren't naked, either.

As the neighbor across the street told us, who happens to council member Scott Benson, this seems to be an incident, without precedent. "It's highly unusual don't have much criminal activity, since I moved here 15 years ago."

The suspect is in serious/stable condition at HCMC. Police are investigating whether the suspect was on drugs. Even after the K-9 bit the suspect, Minneapolis Police say officers still “tasered” the suspect several times before they were able to subdue him. Zak the K-9 has a clean record, but is off the street pending the outcome of an investigation.
KDKA-TV said:
......

A K-9 supervisor says the report indicates, the suspect kept moving his arms around during the ordeal.

Sgt. Danny May, a K-9 supervisor said that dogs aren't trained to bite in the groin area, but they are also not trained to avoid it.

K-9 officers say all police dogs are trained to react if their partner is attacked.

May said, "That was something the dog does on instinct, the officer didn't give a command."

The man suffered a severed testicle and a lacerated penis. He is still unidentified because he had no identification with him at the time of the attack.
NBC News said:
......

Police say the man continued to attack officers even after he was bit. Police used a stun gun to subdue him.
 
#2
He is still unidentified because he had no identification with him at the time of the attack.
And just where does this ace reporter think he would have carried his ID?

I wonder how well an incident like this would go down here - Neue Arbeit backbenchers frothing at the mouth at the thought of some criminal not only getting his just desserts for being in someone else's property, but being hunted and torn apart by dogs! :twisted:
 
#3
Suspect continued to attack!
WTF was he on? Angel dust?
 

Cutaway

LE
Kit Reviewer
#4
OldAdam said:
Suspect continued to attack!
WTF was he on? Angel dust?

That's it, he was on PTP.

Whoops, I mean PCP !

I must stop eating all this aluminium, dammit !
 
#5
ViroBono said:
I wonder how well an incident like this would go down here - Neue Arbeit backbenchers frothing at the mouth at the thought of some criminal not only getting his just desserts for being in someone else's property, but being hunted and torn apart by dogs! :twisted:
If the government provided people, such as this unfortunate, with trousers, they would not feel compelled, by adverse circumstances, to run around in the nude, jiggling doorknobs.

In our modern, tolerant, enlightened, multi-cultural society, the hunting of nudists or foxes with hounds is an intolerable barbarism.
 
#8
Give him his due, most men having just witnessed there testicle being chewed off by a large, fuck off, hound would hide in a corner whimpering/crying/going apeshit - but no, he then takes serveral 50,000-volt hits as well...
 
#9
He was probably some slack-jawed student on his first 3 litre bottle of white lightning, running around with a traffic cone on his head and obviously not conversant with the "Don't fcuk with Land-Sharks" rule.

Maybe all lags should have their danglies savaged by hunds to stop them breeding. We could use those made redundant by the hunt-ban. It would give us more incentive to impeach Bliar TCH and Comedy-Prescott
 

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