W*nking Injuries

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by TheBishopBasher, May 24, 2006.

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  1. Sorry if this has appeared before, but an earlier thread about smoking and blindness caused me to think about wanking and injuries. I have indeed spaffed in my own eye whilst choking the chicken resulting in a red eye that even photoshop could not remove. That is the closest I have come to doing myself harm whilst in the act of pleasuring myself.

    Lets hear the wanking dits of fellow ARRSE members, snapped bajo strings the lot or maybe injured pride after being caught by Granny and Grandad mid vinegar stroke! :D
  2. You're going to knock one out to the replies aren't you?
  3. I suppose so!!!!
  4. 1) Snapped Banjo
    2) Cat walked into my line of fire on the old jesters shoes and got the money shot (Poor Ted!)
    3) Ex girlfriends chest used as a skid pan and she ended up with the red eye, couldnt get her tissue for laughing :)
  5. well i have snapped me banjo string years ago, but it came back to haunt me last year. I had to have a number of operations to fix it. in the end i was curcumsised. and i'll tell you lads its a killer :x
    I also got caught once when i was a young sapper in kenya. i was in me tent and my troop staffy came in and caught me right in the middle of me vinegar strokes :oops:
  6. Urban mythabout a bloke who collapsed on patrol in Fermanagh. When he was questioned about whether he had eaten anything etc, so the Medic could diagnose the problem and it turned out that the bloke had had eleven w@nks that day so far and his body couldn't go on.

    Oh, and the guy filmed on NITAT. But I'm dubius about that one.
  7. Whilst enjoying a bit of self love i got cramp in my calf on the vinaager stroke that lead to a muscle pull, having to explain to the wife how i did it still leads to much laughter in the bedroom
  8. Just a ragged foreskin from general wear and tear.
  9. How about you females???

    Care to join the Wanking Wounded??
  10. Scotty Dogg, are you sure that is why your wife is laughing, in the bedroom ??
  11. :? What you trying to say :?
  12. Anyone know the Para in the supersanger in Woodbourne, who when watching a young lady disrobe in the Lenadoon flats through his binos ,let his todger come into contact with the waist level heater 8O
  13. spike7451

    spike7451 RIP

    Nearly got caught doing the 5 finger shuffle while in MPA.I was sick in bed on my own in a 4 man room & I thought the door was locked......
  14. In the midst of a Mid Point Appraisal?! :p
  15. Bloke on night stag on Optelic 5, got caught hand to gland and fined £800.
    You know who you are if your reading this. :lol: