After not an insignificant amount of time spent practicing the art of self gratification Iâve come to a point where I need something more stimulating than pornhub and a lubed up rubber glove to help me reach my special place. Now, Iâm pretty new to the world of masturbatory aids and I know that this will seem to some "a bit conventional," but I have a dog and am currently toying with the idea of jamming up my cock with Robinsonâs finest and letting her have at it with her freakishly long dog-tongue. I do feel though that the viscosity of the jam will be all wrong and will require liberal re-applications mid âwankâ. I noted with interest however, whilst making myself breakfast the other day, that peanut butter takes much more effort, therefore time, on her part to lick from the back of a butter knife and therefore also my Winkyâ¦probably. Iâm hoping that this endeavour will go more successfully than the time I tried to stick a freshly laundered pair of rugby socks up me bum mid thrap to âsee what all the fuss was about.â I desisted though when I suspected that âthis sort of thing isnât for meâ; suspicions later confirmed when an A&E doctor slipped me a digit after a particularly boozy night out went horribly horribly wrongâ¦ Assuming, however, it doesnât go all that well Iâd like advice on better sugestions for a suitable wanking aid?* What things other than peanut butter (lumpy or smooth?) would work better and (essentially) not be harmful to my todger or (possibly) my dog. What other household objects can, with a bit of imagination, be turned into objects of onanatory pleasure? Or should I just carry on with my hand to gland combat in the normal manner? *Stories about succesfull or failed wank based experiments also welcome! This being ARRSE thereâs probably already a thread about this, in which case can someone point me in the right direction in order that I can further my research.