Army Rumour Service

Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

Vulgar female behaviour

When I came back to the UK in the mid (swinging) '60's, after my spell in darkest C. Africa, I worked in London living in a flat in Kangaroo valley (Earls Court). Women had been very few & far between in Africa, so swinging London was to me like a kiddie being given free rein in a sweetshop, I would and did, shag a lot.
One evening I was enjoying a few pints with a mate in a pub. He knew the quite attractive Australian barmaid, she was a looker even before the "beer goggles" came on. Just before closing time when I was still just sober, she asked me if I wanted to go to a party with her when the pub shut, needless to say I didn't need a second invitation. It turned out to be back at her flat just off E C road, that she shared with 6 other girls, mostly from the antipodes.
After a while we were dancing & getting very entwined when she pulled me into her bedroom and we started undressing, I was absolutely rampant & pushed her onto the bed & about to get busy when she asked me to wait a minute, turns out the "painters were in", no problem she pulled the dripping tampon out, opens her window on the 2nd floor & slung it out into the alley at the back. Business was then resumed, several times that night. Needless to say there was a lot of gore around on her bed, her & my nether regions. She eventually got to the bathroom when the party had finished & brought back a cloth & towel. The only thing I wouldn't do was "go down on her", I couldn't bring myself to get a mouthful of blood, despite her requests.
We went out for about 4 months until she went off to Canada to marry her Canadian fiancé, who happened to be a Lt. in the Canadian Paras. I didn't find that out until we had been seeing each other for several weeks, by which time I didn't care. She actually recommended that when she left I would do well to go out with one of her flatmates, a tall, attractive New Zealander who apparently fancied me, so I did, in fact when she left, she passed on to an English girl in the flat. It was nice, unfortunately it never lead to any 3 somes, which is a shame.
 

Joker62

ADC
Book Reviewer
Truro's posh usually. I went to school there. I'd normally associate that kind of behaviour with Camborne...
How to identify a Cornish native ...
 
When I came back to the UK in the mid (swinging) '60's, after my spell in darkest C. Africa, I worked in London living in a flat in Kangaroo valley (Earls Court). Women had been very few & far between in Africa, so swinging London was to me like a kiddie being given free rein in a sweetshop, I would and did, shag a lot.
One evening I was enjoying a few pints with a mate in a pub. He knew the quite attractive Australian barmaid, she was a looker even before the "beer goggles" came on. Just before closing time when I was still just sober, she asked me if I wanted to go to a party with her when the pub shut, needless to say I didn't need a second invitation. It turned out to be back at her flat just off E C road, that she shared with 6 other girls, mostly from the antipodes.
After a while we were dancing & getting very entwined when she pulled me into her bedroom and we started undressing, I was absolutely rampant & pushed her onto the bed & about to get busy when she asked me to wait a minute, turns out the "painters were in", no problem she pulled the dripping tampon out, opens her window on the 2nd floor & slung it out into the alley at the back. Business was then resumed, several times that night. Needless to say there was a lot of gore around on her bed, her & my nether regions. She eventually got to the bathroom when the party had finished & brought back a cloth & towel. The only thing I wouldn't do was "go down on her", I couldn't bring myself to get a mouthful of blood, despite her requests.
We went out for about 4 months until she went off to Canada to marry her Canadian fiancé, who happened to be a Lt. in the Canadian Paras. I didn't find that out until we had been seeing each other for several weeks, by which time I didn't care. She actually recommended that when she left I would do well to go out with one of her flatmates, a tall, attractive New Zealander who apparently fancied me, so I did, in fact when she left, she passed on to an English girl in the flat. It was nice, unfortunately it never lead to any 3 somes, which is a shame.

Tut. And you being in the African police and all. ;-) What would Leslie Howard think? :? (I don't blame you. I don't like my snapper bloody either.):puker:


Leslie Howard.JPG
 

Joker62

ADC
Book Reviewer
I saw the thread title & thought we might have another of those creepy posts that some nonce posted a while ago about teenage girls with their toes pointing inwards or some other weird fucked up shit.
It definitely was @MrMemory, a read back of some of his old posts mentioning young girls wearing leggings that "cling to their labia majora" or use of the word "pudenda" when watching said young girls give the game away or mentioning that the lens on his camera gives him just the view he needs or admitting to shagging a 15yo when his Mrs threw him out for a well hung Nigerian. It's a shame that I couldn't go further back in his posting history to find the exact post.
 
It definitely was @MrMemory, a read back of some of his old posts mentioning young girls wearing leggings that "cling to their labia majora" or use of the word "pudenda" when watching said young girls give the game away or mentioning that the lens on his camera gives him just the view he needs or admitting to shagging a 15yo when his Mrs threw him out for a well hung Nigerian. It's a shame that I couldn't go further back in his posting history to find the exact post.
Oh I stand corrected, was @CaptainRidiculous guilty of downloading child porn?
 

Chodmeister

RIP
RIP
Not so much vulgar female behaviour, but definitely mental! As I don't work on Mondays, I usually take our granddaughter to Nursery. The sense of female aggression and car park rage is overwhelming. Some of the thousand yard stares I've been on the receiving end of are unbelievable - 'do not mess with me, I'm menstrual and had a sleepless night with the kids' being the clear message. It's very unsettling - almost puts me off letching at the yummy mummies! :smile:

Say no more...

PMS.jpg
 
I thought it was Mr Memory.
It may well have been. One thing is certain though and that is if Mr Thicky Twoplanks (@Himmler74) says it was a particular individal, it was almost certainly somebody else.

You have to treat anything he says as if it was Pants O'Flame saying it.
 

The_Snail

ADC
RIP
It definitely was @MrMemory, a read back of some of his old posts mentioning young girls wearing leggings that "cling to their labia majora" or use of the word "pudenda" when watching said young girls give the game away or mentioning that the lens on his camera gives him just the view he needs or admitting to shagging a 15yo when his Mrs threw him out for a well hung Nigerian. It's a shame that I couldn't go further back in his posting history to find the exact post.
This post: https://www.arrse.co.uk/community/threads/boots-the-morning-after.265912/post-8032898

His brain's not wired up right.
 
Oh I stand corrected, was @CaptainRidiculous guilty of downloading child porn?
You are obsessed with child pornography... are you hoping that one day you'll get lucky and stumble across somebody wiiling to share their collection of paedo images with you?

As a bonus, you could even claim then to have actually made the images as you are wont to do with other people's work.
 
Oh I stand corrected, was @CaptainRidiculous guilty of downloading child porn?
No, he wasn't.
In fact, rather go and look at the original post on the subject?

https://www.arrse.co.uk/community/t...ink-they-wont-be-noticed.267511/#post-8173523

Oh yes, and how about THIS one...

https://www.arrse.co.uk/community/threads/nonce-patrol.268226/page-16#post-8250310

from whichpost I quote:

I'll let the jury decide.
You obviously never read the thread, but were spurred on by the queen-quim, constantly shouting NONCE.

Now, dear fellow, fuck off and do your own research.
 
Marseille (that's how the French spell it - without the "s" on the end), early eighties, at a highly salubrious Legionnaires' hang-out called "Chez Helmut" between the Vieux Port and the commercial docks, there I was quaffing a few Kronenbourgs with some mates and chatting up some of the local high-class fanny as one does, when one of the ladies decides she can't be arsed to wait for the loo, goes out into the quite busy street, hikes up her skirt, squats in the gutter and lets Niagara Falls loose, with a big grin for any passing pedestrians. Then skirt down and back to the bar.
 
The xmas before last, a friend of a friend brought his new Portuguese bird to a friends house party

She was so oversexed, he literally went off and hid wanting a rest

At one point in the evening I remember my missus being tired, and asked me for a foot massage. I was drunk and really couldn't be bothered, so this bird volunteers

Next thing I know she'd whipped her top and bra off and put one of my missus feet between her tits and started making loud groaning noises

Then tried to put said foot between her legs, which my missus discovered said bint wasn't even wearing knickers declined anymore

Not long after she just walked out of the front gate, hoisted her short dress up and just pissed in the street, which wouldn't be so bad but there were two loos and plenty of sinks in the house the weirdo

At this point in the evening there were still families with children present, so you can imagine these activities were rather frowned upon....especially for a quiet xmas party in a sleepy village

She really wasn't a classy bird
 
Top