Vowels after UK left UE

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous Jokes' started by chuggafugga, Jun 27, 2016.

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  1. A Frenchie posted this on Facebook, it's supposed to be funny:

    Now British English will have only 3 vowels A I O....

    as it has left E U .....
  2. It probably works better in the original. Can you post the French version?
  3. It isn't.
    • Like Like x 3
  4. I didn't think so either
  5. Thought it might have been this, listed as 1998 - I certainly saw it way back

    The New European Language!!!
    Writer Unknown
    Read Aloud For Best Effect!!!
    The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).

    In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c." Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be replaced with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.

    There will be growing publik emthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make words like fotograf" 20 persent shorter.

    In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.

    By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by " v".

    During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

    After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.

    Ze drem vil finali kum tru. ​
    • Like Like x 4
  6. Even better, looking at the thread title, the OP is dyslexic to the extent that he can't even get the two letters E and U in the right order.

    50/50 chance - you win some etc.
    • Funny Funny x 2
    • Like Like x 1
  7. I think you had to be there to get the full nuance of the joke.

    You could then have plunged both thumbs into his eye sockets.
    • Like Like x 2
    • Funny Funny x 1
  8. School holidays soon.
  9. NSP

    NSP LE

    Well, he did say it originated with a damned Frog. In France the EU is called the, er, UE...

    Merde alors!!
    • Like Like x 2
  10. No need for that. In case of troublesome Frenchies, I always keep a few photos on my phone. One shows doughty British Tommys kicking Frogs off the lifeboats at Dunkirk in order to make space for other British Tommies.

    The other photo shows Napoleon fleeing the battlefield at Waterloo. It's strange how many people believe that colour photography was around at that time.
    • Funny Funny x 1
  11. The French joke that I would most like at the moment would be a physical comedy involving you being choked to death with a French thesaurus whilst having your anus fed like a fois gras goose with the flotsam of a Marseille trawler.

    You fùcking shitcùnt.
    • Funny Funny x 1