Volunteer required

#1
Its well known that one of our ranks is soon to go into hospital a gentleman and to come out a gentleman with his hampton turned into a fish socket.

I raised a few questions in the blogs but I've a couple more which I'd like answering...... also the benevolant side of me is eager to help out a member of HM forces (penis or not)

1. If you end up not changing you american tan tights all day will your gusset stink like a cnut or like a sweaty sack?

2. What happens to your helmet? do you get to keep it?

3. Can I eat your disgarded gonads?

A volunteer is required to chuck a mix up legs, as she is bound to turn straight into a whore with a brand new c0ck clot to play with.

Its fair to say she isn't exactly Denise Van Outen, more like Dennis Waterman but lets not cast aside one of our members and lets get someone, whether they need to be full of beer or not to scuttle her once her scars heal and her love bucket is fully functioning.
 
#4
Whatever happened to, "Never ask a man to do something you're not prepared to do yourself."

Obviously, I'd take one for the team if it wasn't for being a married man and all (pauses to swallow slight amount of sick).
 
#5
Is Legs still up for some tag-teaming?

As long as she shaves, I don't mind lezzering her.
 
#6
Amongst the confines of the NAAFI there has to be a singly who's that
desperate for a jump he will poke anything, even a snatch made out of a mans inside out meat stick
 
#7
minister_doh_nut said:
Amongst the confines of the NAAFI there has to be a singly who's that
desperate for a jump he will poke anything, even a snatch made out of a mans inside out meat stick
Who is Legs?
 
#9
Looks like we have become a drop in centre for oddballs, beanflickers, trannies, snappers and rejects.

Halo..... do you think a man fanny could get moist?

You being a fan of fanjeeta, would you scoff a non natural, man made mound?
 
#10
minister_doh_nut said:
Amongst the confines of the NAAFI there has to be a singly who's that
desperate for a jump he will poke anything, even a snatch made out of a mans inside out meat stick
Normally i would but not this time thanks (no offence legs!)
 
#11
halo_jones said:
Dale the snail said:
Is Legs still up for some tag-teaming?

As long as she shaves, I don't mind lezzering her.
OH you get in line i thought i was the offical ARRSE lezzer :p
Sorry, I thought I wrote bezzering.

Halo, answer the nice man's question though. Would you need lube to get her moist?
 
#12
minister_doh_nut said:
Looks like we have become a drop in centre for oddballs, beanflickers, trannies, snappers and rejects.

Halo..... do you think a man fanny could get moist?

You being a fan of fanjeeta, would you scoff a non natural, man made mound?
YES it does. I can gaurantee that. Had my op 30 April, born again virgin. LoL
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#14
In the spirit of selfless sacrifice, which I am so well known for, I will volunteer to beat a path, to be a pioneer for the community. I do this, knowing that as an old, fat and hairy bloke, I will not get any better offers. So, in an act of pure courage and extreme desperation, here I am. Ready, willing and...........well, we will have to see if I am able.


Edited to add; I request that Halo and Dale join me, to hold my coat. Or something.
 
#15
minister_doh_nut said:
Amongst the confines of the NAAFI there has to be a singly who's that
desperate for a jump he will poke anything, even a snatch made out of a mans inside out meat stick
You called? :D

I would throw a mix up it, no drama, if only for the dit. The moistness problem is easily overcome with a couple of squirts of PX24, and if I could get a gronk board phot of it using it's shovel-like hands to hold open it's strangely engineered fadge, I would be worshipped as a living god in the mess.
 
#16
bernoulli said:
minister_doh_nut said:
Amongst the confines of the NAAFI there has to be a singly who's that
desperate for a jump he will poke anything, even a snatch made out of a mans inside out meat stick
You called? :D

I would throw a mix up it, no drama, if only for the dit. The moistness problem is easily overcome with a couple of squirts of PX24, and if I could get a gronk board phot of it using it's shovel-like hands to hold open it's strangely engineered fadge, I would be worshipped as a living god in the mess.
Only a matter of time before you offered eh Bern?!

Balls to the idea you'd do it to achieve god like status, you've been fiddling with your gear stick for ages thinking of roaring up 'converted fadge'.

Seaman get(s) everywhere.... :-D
 

Biped

LE
Book Reviewer
#17
I would give it a go, but I couldn't guarantee that half way through I didn't have a mental faart and subsequently beat the subject of my penile affections round the head with the nearest shovel I could find, to a bl00dy pulp before chopping up the body and burying it under the patio with the normal ladies I've met in the past.

I'd be happy to write a post-action report though!
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#18
Come on chaps. Let's not be so vigorous, after all, she is not a Danish tour rep.

Anyway, I volunteered first, and am the most needy. Remember, you all should support 'Help the Aged'.
 
#19
Biped said:
I would give it a go, but I couldn't guarantee that half way through I didn't have a mental faart and subsequently beat the subject of my penile affections round the head with the nearest shovel I could find, to a bl00dy pulp before chopping up the body and burying it under the patio with the normal ladies I've met in the past.

I'd be happy to write a post-action report though!
Ex-Green Jacket by any chance?
 
#20
old_fat_and_hairy said:
Come on chaps. Let's not be so vigorous, after all, she is not a Danish tour rep.

Anyway, I volunteered first, and am the most needy. Remember, you all should support 'Help the Aged'.
More like care in the community OF&H
 
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