Vlad The Impaler To Produce Army Of Putins

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...perm-create-new-military-political-elite.html

OK so the crackpots in the Russian Duma have called for Vlad's sperm to be collected and used to impregnate lots of Russian women to produce an Army of baby Vlad's to take over the World. I seem to remember the Nazis suggesting the same thing for Hitler, only he only had one bollock and got his pleasures from water sports and poo play (according to his niece who committed suicide).

I hear that there's a boom in spatula and baster sales in Russia right now as loyal Russian women open their legs to artificially inseminate and the Duma has assigned an elderly matron to extract the precious seed from Putin twice daily so that it may be distributed.

The Frunze military academy is allocating an induction class for 2032 solely for the baby Putins and a maternity hospital is being built in Ulyanovsk for the birthing of the new Putin Army.
 
We should do the same thing in Britain.

No worries about reserve recruitment or falling regular numbers, and lets face it, there are plenty of ******* knocking around here who could donate a bit!
 

AlienFTM

MIA
Book Reviewer
The Emperor Mong playing the long game. A generation hence and every baby born will share a grandfather. Russia will literally become a nation of Mongs.
 

AlienFTM

MIA
Book Reviewer
The Emperor Mong playing the long game. A generation hence and every baby born will share a grandfather. Russia will literally become a nation of Mongs.

Nearly everyone in Mongolia is related to Ghengis Khan. He had hundreds of kids who obviously multiplied over a few generations.

'Tis true - I saw something on telly where they took DNA from a few guys and most of them were related to Ghengis. Not too sure how they knew about Ghengis's DNA though.

Edit after a little read.

Apparently, it's 8% of Asians and 0.5% of men world wide.
 

AlienFTM

MIA
Book Reviewer
Nearly everyone in Mongolia is related to Ghengis Khan. He had hundreds of kids who obviously multiplied over a few generations.

'Tis true - I saw something on telly where they took DNA from a few guys and most of them were related to Ghengis. Not too sure how they knew about Ghengis's DNA though.

Edit after a little read.

Apparently, it's 8% of Asians and 0.5% of men world wide.
On QI a few series back, it was demonstrated that statistically, it was probable that everyone* is related to (iirc) the emperor Charlemagne, for the simple reason that the number of many times great grandparents every one of us has to have to get back to that time is greater than the population of the world at that time.

_____
* Outside of Newcastle, obviously.
 

seaweed

LE
Book Reviewer
RIP
A large part of the anglo-saxon population is descended from Edward III if only they knew it. Going back from him produces an amazing range of European ancestors, not all of them nice people, including a ninth century Armenian peasant called Theophylactus the Unbearable and a chap whose skull was made into a drinking cup. Cheers!
 
I remember years ago watching a docu about Vlad the Impaler. They interviewed a modern day descendant of Vlad. She was minor royalty, IIRC, and quite tasty looking as well. Whatever we have to say about the likes of Hitler, Stalin, Pol Pot etc, they were all piss wet, wishy-washy do-gooders compared to Vlad the Impaler.
 

pez_perrett

Old-Salt
Vald the impaler, yet another celebrated Christian,

I bet he touched up kids as well
 
He's missing out on a trick here, why is he not injecting it manually?

Because Putin secretly covets the purple headed warrior.
ImageUploadedByARRSE1415359382.627515.jpg
 
We should do the same thing in Britain.

No worries about reserve recruitment or falling regular numbers, and lets face it, there are plenty of ******* knocking around here who could donate a bit!

Just think, you could have a whole battalion of Tony Blairs...
 

theoriginalphantom

MIA
Book Reviewer
putin 2.jpg
 

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