Visit to Royston Vasey, North Wales

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by dave8307, Jul 27, 2009.

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  1. Hi Folks
    Mrs Dave and I had a real (and I do mean REAL) surreal League of Gentlemen moment in Llanerch-y-Mor in Wales on Friday last. What happened was, even now, completely jaw-dropping. It's a bit long-winded but a weird tale, nevertheless.

    After a nice day in Wales collecting monies for Help for Heroes we bobbed into this craft centre/small cafe for a quick scoff.

    Noticed that they did all day breakfasts, I asked for a bacon barm and a sausage barm, only to be told that breakfast had ceased (WTF?? It says all day breakfast outside) so I picked up a couple of panini from the display cabinet and gave them to the counter girl. I had difficulty understanding the girl who served us (I think she was chewing gum) but I understood her to ask if I wanted salad or coleslaw. I said “no”. At the same time my wife said “yes, I’ll have a bit of coleslaw” although I didn't hear her. The girl took the paninis off us to heat them up and told us she would call us when they were ready.

    When I neared the checkout I picked up two Kitkats put them on the tray and the boss placed an Eccles cake on it too.

    When we reached the checkout I asked the checkout lady for a mug of tea for myself and a pot of tea for my wife. I also showed her the Kitkats and Eccles cake on the tray and told her we’d ordered ham and cheese and cheese paninis. Consequently the lady charged us £7-odd for the items.

    We moved to a table and started drinking the tea. A while later we heard the shout for the paninis and my wife went to collect them. She was asked if she had paid for coleslaw. She said “no”, but I did ask for coleslaw”.

    My wife returned to the table and we started to eat the paninis when 2 members of staff came to the table. The older staff member asked if we’d "bought the Kitkats and Eccles cake here or did you bring them (into the café)". We said “we bought them from the counter – here’s the receipt”. He studied the receipt but said, in rather a officious manner “no, you haven’t paid for them”. I said “Well, surely that’s the checkout lady’s responsibility, I did indicate to her that they were on the tray”. He disregarded that and said in a right stroppy voice, “Well, that is going to be £2-odd”. I was become very annoyed at this time by the lack of courtesy shown and the staff member’s general demeanour. For some reason he then brought up the coleslaw/salad mixup. When I iterated what had happened the younger member of staff said “you’re lying, you’re lying, you're bloody lying”. They asked if we wanted the Kitkats and cake and we said no. At this they went back behind the counter.

    I was fukcing stunned by what had just happened and for a few minutes just couldn't speak I was that amazed and angry at what had transpired.

    Anyway, I made my way behind the counter and confronted the elder staff member and asked for an apology from the younger member of staff for calling me a liar. I told him to get a grip of his staff, because stating things like that to customers without foundation was totally unwarranted. Things got heated and voices were raised and at this point someone made a great play of getting someone to phone security. I continued asking for an apology to be told that no apology was forthcoming and to get back in front of the counter. Two ladies in the kitchen realised a misunderstanding had occurred and tried to quieten things down but the male members of staff were determined to remove this awkward b*stard customer over anything else.

    The supervisor then decided wade in and use her weight (and, boy, was she BIIIIIG!) and asked if I would move outside as I was causing a scene. Of course I'm causing a scene you've just accused me of being a "bloody liar", you twonk.

    Gallantly I moved outside and offered to sit down with her and to discuss the situation amicably, but for some reason she wanted to stay on the disabled ramp. By now the security boy had arrived. He was about 20 years old and wearing a uniform that was two sizes too big for him - talk about laugh, I could have blown him over with a kiss!!!! Anyway, trying to get my point across I was using my arms expressively. The supervisor then said that I was acting aggressively and was threatening and frightening her, obviously (from my point of view) playing up to security. I asked her if she had ever been to Italy where people waved their hand all the time in an effort to emphasise a point of view. “What’s Italy got to do with it?” I said I wasn’t threatening her or attempting to frighten her, I was just trying to get my point of view over to her because I had been called a bloody liar and was extremely annoyed at the accusation.

    Mrs Dave then joined me and replied to the Supervisor's statement that I was a "meek and mild man who wouldn't hurt a fly" (I really would like to know were she got that from) :). The answer from the supervisor was that Mrs Dave was being aggressive and was scaring her, too. FFS, give me strength.

    With that the “discussion” petered out with no apology, but the parting shot from the tough security boy was “You’ve been told to leave so leave”.

    I understood that in Retail (of which I have a number of years experience) the customer was always right and that you bend over backwards to make the customer comfortable, even if they are sometimes wrong....What a fukcing crap end to what was to begin with a smashing day.

    Never again.

    Complaint already into North Wales Tourist Board and Manager of establishment.

    Name of the establishment will be revealed if need be. Please PM
  2. You're lucky they didn't start speaking in Welsh the moment you walked into the shop as is the norm up there!
    'Don't get many strangers in them parts'!
  3. That's what you get when the gene pool is the size of a paddling pool.
  4. if only Wales as a whole would do a "Bridgend".
  5. Serves you right, imagine going into a shop in Wales and trying to buy their "special things"
  6. sounds a bit ropey if you ask me..

    coat, hat, bus to hell :twisted:
  7. Dave,

    If my guess at where you were is correct, are you aware they have a forum where they "welcome" comments?
    (although probably not those ones?)

  8. If you found a piece of runny, nasty dog shite on your doorstep would you try and reason with it, in order to come to some sort of amicable settlement; or would you sort the problem out with a large shovel?

    Same logic applies to anyone from North Wales. Cnuts the lot of 'em. You should have kicked the fat biatch in in her clunge and smashed the glass cake diplay on the greasy breeder.

    I sh1t 'em

    Edited to avoid upsetting anyone
  9. You went to North Wales and expected civility and normality?
    And they speak with that funny high pitched sing-song type voice.That has to be the worst sounding voice,ever.
  10. LancePrivateJones

    LancePrivateJones LE Book Reviewer

    Next time tell them that you are visiting U-Boat crewmembers.

    Apparently they were quite popular round those parts during WW2.
  11. Did you and your lass p*ss and moan about it from pulling out of the carpark right up until you got in the front door at home, and then phoned everyone you knew ? :D

    Could always try complaining like this chap ?

    A few days before his sudden death, Tate, a hulking man of 2.03m/6'8”, had wrecked a pizza palour in a trivial dispute.

    His girlfriend had called the London Pizza Company in Basildon & asked the young manager, Roger Ryall, for a pizza with different toppings on each quarter. Ryall told her that would not be possible. Tate, high on cocaine, then seized the telephone. “You will deliver the pizza I want or I'll come over there & rip your f****** head off!” he shouted.

    “I wasn't going to take that”, Ryall said later. “So I said to him, ‘Get rid of the bolshy attitude & I'll send you a pizza.'” Tate then demanded his name & drove straight over to the parlour. He stormed into the building, shouting, “Which one of you is Roger Ryall?” When Ryall put his hand up, Tate picked up the till & threw it at him.

    Ryall quickly backed out of the office & pushed the panic button as Tate vaulted the counter & rushed towards him. “He punched me in the face & then smashed my head up & down on the glass plate on the draining board,” said Ryall. “The man was insane!”

    Tate warned him not to call the police or he would return to beat up all his staff & torch the place. But it was too late – the panic button brought police officers to the scene & Tate was traced to his home. A badly concussed Ryall was determined to have the man who had assaulted him brought to justice, but as friends told him more about Pat Tate's reputation, his resolve softened. By the following morning, he had withdrawn his statement & decided not to press charges.

    Quality ! :D
  12. Two kitkats and an Eccles cake.......... fat b astard! 8O

    Still, they are not right you know, well you should have known! But the mountains are nice :D
  13. No Wah:

    In a shop in Betws-Y-Coed to buy some cheese, bread etc for a picnic. I took a bunch of spring onions to the counter with my other purchases. Girl on the counter looked long and hard at the spring onions and at the list of vegetable prices and back again a few times.

    "Are those spring onions?" she asks.
    "Err, yes......" replies ES, somewhat gobsmacked.
    "I always thought they were mini-leeks... "

  14. It's a bit like phoning in a complaint, you know they can't give you an answer when they resort to I'm going to put the phone down because you're swearing'. Of course not one word of profanity has slipped your lips but it sounds better if the supervisor is listening than 'I don't know and I'm too stupid to find the answer or follow your logic'.
  15. I find the best thing to do when faced with Welsh people is treat them as retards, speak loudly and slowly and then when you're sure that they are to retarded too have understood, punch them in the mouth.

    It's worth noting that Welsh people do in fact come in 2 types, male & female although that isn't always obvious. As a rough and ready way of telling them apart the female types have tattoos and smoke Capstan Full Strength.